Long story short my LTR broke up with me and I don’t really mind. Not sure why.

I’ve been adopting red pill ideas for about 3 years now. Of course I was still blue pulled as fuck while doing it and it only really helped me in the early stages of talking to a girl. Usually my blue pill side would creep in and ruin whatever we had going. And that’s pretty much been the case till recently albeit in smaller amounts and degrees with each passing relationship.

Cut to yesterday. My LTR of just under a year had plans with me. We were gonna go on a hike early in the morning. I was going to teach her how to ride my motorcycle. Then we were going to drink a fuck ton of wine and have fun together. This relationship has been very healthy and was actually getting even better during quarantine.

So she calls me a little before she’s supposed to meet me to see if I’m awake. She knew I was working very late the night before. I let her know I’m awake, she says ok and that she’s coming over. Even says it in cute little ultra feminine voice that she does when she’s being all gushy.

Two hours pass.

I call her to see what’s up. She says that she had a test that she forgot about and that she’s almost done. I point out that’s something she could have shared with me two hours ago when she realized that.

She gives a half hearted sorry and then says she’ll hurry up and we can go on our hike. I point out that by the time she’ll be here it will be evening and I don’t want to hike then when it’s darker and cold. This pisses her off and she just says bye and hangs up.

I’m fine with this because I’ve never had my time so wasted and disrespected by someone I was actually intimate with.

I don’t respond at all and prepare for a lengthy as hell soft next. Well this morning she sends me a dm saying she’s done with this relationship and that she doesn’t even want to be friends. (Not that i even suggested that)

Of all the things I could feel from hearing that. I did not expect to feel relieved. While I acted according to the sidebar on the surface, deep down I still loved this girl in a gushy beta blue pill way. And with quarantine I will not not be gaming any women for quite some time, COVID is at its worst where I live.

All these things normally would destroy me. I would act stoic and alpha in public then go home and be a little bitch, releasing my emotions in private. But now, even knowing I can’t replace her, even still being in love with her (I think?) my feelings towards this breakup are just complete and total apathy?

What do you guys think? Has the red pill just finally fully kicked in? I guess you could say not since I’m writing this long post about the break up. But even if she pulled a 180 by the end of tonight I wouldn’t take her back.

I’m more just curious about how can be deeply in love with girl one day and then feel nothing when she pulls this shit on the next.

The only time I’ve been able to get over breakups before is by fucking other women but now that doesn’t even seem to be a requirement.