I give up so fast, can not mentally keep image and focus long enough. Problem is, i get discouraged and here's the reason i found why - no body loves me or care about me. I don't have any reason to change then, why would i change if no one cares or love me, except maybe my family. Usually people outside hate me more then love me. I don't have any friends or gf, i'm still virgin and 21 years old. Every day i get that how much i lack for my generation and how they are advanced comparing to me and what i do. I know my goals, i know what i need to do and then get discouraged, sad, and same cycle begin. Starting to fap and watch porn and ditch my goals because no one cares and no one loves me. For last two years i didn't gained any mass even that i'm bulking for whole time. I lost 20lb and feel weak to man up and do everything again from scratch.

Believe me that i'm more then aware of how much beta and sad this mindset of me is, but can not find any light at the end of tunnel or strength to change my life. I don't want to give up or end like some people that i know. I don't even know how i ended like this that i need some love or someone to care about me so that i will change myself, like i can't do it to myself, but again i find that i need those stuff.

Even with plan that i have i don't follow it, get into auto destructive and self-sabotage mode and stop pursuing goals even that i know how much i want them and how much others are better then me. Got lazy again and procrastinate my life

Can anyone of you give 5min to read and try to help, it means a lot