Fuck it. This is the only place I can post this and you will all probably hate it and I know I probably failed some vague platitude, but fuck it. I’m over it all.
I’ve done everything right. I went from being an effeminate awkward virgin to a stereotypical frat bro. I’m in my physical prime. My life is full of passions. I’ve managed all my vices. I started planning ahead, and getting the bigger picture and all that other shit. Im actively saving and investing. I’m far from a deadbeat. And I haven’t even mentioned how RP has helped me with dating yet. I can get pussy like a stereotypical chad. I spin plates and I’m not getting worked up over it anymore. And you know what? I’m still fucking miserable. My main plate went on vacation and she cheated on me last weekend. I had already cheated on her once the day before she cheated and about 2 months into our relationship when it first started. (Inb4 “cheating is beta”). It’s like I have a fucking 6th sense for this kind of shit now. I don’t get sad about it anymore. I’m just kind of numb. RP has kind of ruined my perception of life and fucked me up about learning how the world works. I know that the feeling is somewhat freeing but fuck man maybe growing up just really fucking sucks. I’m still fucking miserable. Ill never be as happy as was after I first lost my virginity when I was still blue pilled. Ignorance really is bliss. I can fuck 10, 20, 30 girls after a bad hard next and they still never get any easier. I feel like a retard. I feel like there is something obviously wrong with me but I don’t know what it is.