After being the wreckage I was, as I wrote the post about me being unable to break it off with my still 'official' gf. As she isn't reaching out for me,I spiraled down the last days. Tody I couldn't take it any longer and decided, that I won't give her power over myself or my mood.

I threw away junk food that was in my fridge, I did some pushups and crunches and all of a sudden I feel an urge to try fuck some girls about 10 years younger than me (I'm 29). What the actual hell is this? One thought is like 'If she comes back, I'm safe at least for now' and literally the next is 'Fuck that landwhale, I'm going to get my cool back and fuck some naiv sluts that at least look hot.'. Having thoughts of that variety go back and forth.

This is my first breakup after lifting (started a year prior to her) and discovering trp /about half a year before I started lifting). WhatÄs going on between my ears?