I don't know how to start this off other than by saying that I always have had self esteem issues. Even to this day, I have some issues but I think I'm better off than before.

I am slightly overweight, but I've been tracking my calories and hitting the gym, and I've gotten a lot of progress (lost 10 pounds so far!). I've had pretty bad acne but I've been following the recommendations of my GP and r/skincareaddiction, and my face has really cleared up from before. I've changed my style for the most part, but I think I can still improve on it.

I've gotten those things covered but I don't feel like those traits cover the fact that I am a person who is behind in experience relative to my peers. The fact that I'm still very awkward around girls, and haven't kissed a girl in nearly a decade, or the fact that I have a small penis (4" erect). I'm also Asian, if that matters. I hate the fact that I live up to the stereotype but I've read through the posts on here and come to realize that it is something that I have to live with. There are other ways to please a woman other than PIV intercourse but how can I do that when I don't think I'm attractive in the first place?

I tried fixing various aspects of my life but I always feel like I've come short. I wasn't satisfied with my job so I changed that but I am still living paycheque to paycheque. I wasn't satisfied with what I was studying so I changed schools and changed my major. I'm now regretting that decision since I changed to a smaller school with fewer opportunities. I also live in an apartment with my parents so bringing over a girl to my place is out of the equation unless I move out.

Are there anyone on here that has a similar experience to my own? I don't think that getting laid/getting a girlfriend will change anything but I would like to experience dating for the fun of it. I've tried escalating but always messed up