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Schtemich Archive

View 2 posts and 91 comments by Schtemich on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
414

Schtemich/r/seduction15/01/15 05:54 PM
312

Schtemich/r/seduction12/01/16 05:58 PM
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
1

The approaching groups thing is covered extensively in 'classic' pick-up methodology, and is a fun read if a little dated. The basic principles are solid though. - Approach groups as a whole, be interesting and charming with *everybody*. Identify the 'protectors' as you describe them, and build rapport with them first. - The goal is to gain acceptance with the group before any attempt is made to initiate with the girl you like. This way you don't come off as predatory, you do not initiate defens…
/r/seduction15/08/19 11:54 AM
1

You describe your self-doubts as "irrational bullshit". Good. You're not blaming the world around you, but recognizing that you need to change. This may not seem like much, but it's an important step that many people struggle to make. Genuinely and honestly: well done. So, continuing the theme of being as rational as possible - let's think how you might more effectively manage your thoughts and expectations in social situations, particularly in the context of girls and dating. One way that I've …
/r/seduction19/06/19 02:42 PM
1

Congrats!
/r/seduction18/06/19 08:52 AM
16

This 'close friend' of hers that tipped you off, probably went straight back to her buddy and told her that you were showing interest. That's the MO of girls everywhere and in this case is a good thing, because it means she may be expecting you to ask. If there's an expectation, best to be direct - because any dithering will seem extra awkward and creepy. I would suggest simply asking: "Are you still looking for a date for the prom?" It's a tiny bit indirect, but it still broadcasts your intenti…
/r/seduction17/06/19 04:52 PM
1

You’ll rarely get the specifics you’re after, because people experience attraction at a big picture level, and women in particular are great at detecting insincerity. That’s why most advice comes in the form of *mindsets* rather than tactics. ​ I'll pick apart your example a bit to illustrate this. ​ The guy with game is uninterested in seducing the babysitter. He can get laid elsewhere, so such a desperate abuse of his position holds no appeal. It feels sleazy. What’s more, his experience has a…
/r/seduction09/05/19 02:56 PM
1

You need to create a sense of collaboration, as though your encounter were a minor adventure that you’re sharing together. It needs to feel like both on the same side, not facing off in stuffy dating head-to-head situation. Sit side-by-side, facing out on to an interesting scene. People watch together. Try interesting menus, strange cocktails, dabble in the unknown. How do your reviews compare? Walk through markets together, along busy seafronts, browsing quirky shops. Discuss your discoveries.
/r/seduction23/07/18 05:07 PM
1

Many of my friends that have suffered from depression, especially those that have your drive and ambition, have found that cognitive behavioural therapy has really helped. I've found it really useful personally too, though my experience has come from studying it in my own time, rather than through a therapist. In case you're not familiar (people seem to discuss it a lot on reddit) cognitive behavioral therapy involves understanding the thought processes and triggers that precede unwanted feeling…
/r/seduction16/01/18 11:15 PM
2

Losing your virginity, experiencing a sexual relationship, having a girlfriend and so on will NOT be a fix-all to your insecurities. It's vitally important you remember that - and as weird as it sounds, take comfort in it. All these friends of yours, whom, in your eyes, have somehow 'solved' the virginity problem have NOT won at life. Where once they wondered if they would ever sex, now they wonder if or when they'll get it again. Those with girlfriends they adore fear losing them. Everybody won…
/r/seduction16/01/18 11:10 AM
3

I recommend abandoning this "all or nothing" mindset. Rather than focusing solely on an end goal of getting with girls, instead consider how to improve your ability to do all of the little things that help lead up to it. Think about these interactions as opportunities to improve your skills and confidence, rather than opportunities to get your rocks off. For example, are you comfortable striking up casual conversations with girls just for fun? No asking for numbers, no sexual escalation, just sh…
/r/seduction09/11/17 11:12 AM
16

This may not be the most helpful answer in the immediate term, but it's the truth as I've exprienced it. Over time, and as you refine your skills, you'll get better at achieving genuine rapport... which will make asking for numbers seem like a natural and obvious thing to do (for both you and the girl). From time to time you'll even have the girl suggest it (the first time this happened it felt like I had unlocked a new superpower!). You'll also get more adept at identifying the girls that aren'…
/r/seduction04/09/17 12:26 PM
1

Ask yourself, what is this possible sex actually worth to me? Is it even likely to be good, in light of her lack of experience and low confidence? Do you anticipate that she'll lighten up afterwards, or is it more likely that losing her virginity will only make her more emotional? As I've grown more confident over the last few years, I've found that women with low self-esteem seem increasingly less appealing. Once upon a time I might have sat through several tedious dates, propping up a girl's f…
/r/seduction10/02/16 03:49 PM
1

Ah yes. Something like this.
/r/seduction13/01/16 04:25 PM
1

I respond like this
/r/seduction12/01/16 05:04 PM
3

Braces alone won't be enough. You need polished brogues, a pinstripe suit, cuff links, the lot. Throw in a bit of chat about "hedge funds" and "future markets" and the girls will be queuing up to get a piece of that rich banker action.
/r/seduction26/11/15 11:37 AM
3

I'm still so physically attracted to them that I keep going back to the well. Is that really why? Or is because having sex with lots of physically attractive women has become such an important source of validation in your life, that you are lost without it? Are you still chasing the high you experienced a few years ago when you first started getting good at this? I think you've made a breakthrough... you've realised that banging bimbos does not maketh the man. Find other ways of celebrating your…
/r/seduction26/11/15 11:24 AM
1

Everyone is different, blah, blah. I've always been praised for my technique and this is it. Have fresh breath Begin small, with light kisses on the lips, but no tongues. Change position slightly between kisses Extend the length of the light kisses but still no tongues yet Gently touch the girl's cheek with your hand, as if to guide her face in the kissing (this may seem corny, but girls LOVE this) Don't be afraid to break off, talk more (not about kissing!), increase sexual tension, and resume …
/r/seduction26/11/15 10:56 AM
3

Or are some men out there really being that fucking pathetic and disrespectful towards women that us other men are paying the price? Pretty much. Try to imagine it from the perspective of a confident, well-adjusted, attractive woman. Most 'creepy' actions convey a secret insult to their character. Creepy Behaviour #1: compliments from out of nowhere, without rapport or context. Girl's response: Does he really think I'm so insecure that a random stranger telling me I'm hot will make me so gratefu…
/r/seduction23/11/15 03:59 PM
3

Are you talking about yourself a lot in conversation with these women? If you're not offering them more engaging conversation opportunities, this could be a friendly, low-risk response option for them. They may mistakenly believe you're seeking some kind of reassurance that you're coming across well. As /u/zmedj suggests, it could be low-level flirting. Or the above with a bit of flirting thrown in.
/r/seduction23/11/15 03:29 PM
2

Make short(ish) statements that invite discussion, rather than asking loads of questions. This example is from a date, rather than a random meeting, but you get the idea. ME: "I really enjoy people-watching." HER: "So do I!" ME: "Take that guy over there, he looks so bored! I wonder what his girlfriend is saying." HER: "She's probably moaning that he's a terrible listener." ME: "Sure. I think she's probably moaning that he's a terrible listener." When done in the right way, with the right humour…
/r/seduction18/11/15 10:54 AM
3

Let's cut to the heart of this. Most, maybe all, romantic literature builds upon a simple idea: a sense of self as special. A love story gives the protagonist's life meaning, it elevates her above the humdrum, boring existence she knows. The hero perceives a quality in her that no one else has ever noticed. He proves how special she is by loving her. Conversing in the generic, inarticulate way you've described will not make anyone feel special, it will not leave the feeling that you 'get' them..…
/r/seduction17/11/15 03:15 PM
1

Just don't respond like this https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I66aySW4le8
/r/seduction17/11/15 12:43 PM
1

If it happens frequently, it might have something to do with your approach - in the here and now, when the girl's in front of you, she enjoys your company enough to agree to a date. On reflection, she changes her mind about you. Why? If most of the dates you get are the result of hooking up with girls in lively places like clubs, bars, gigs, parties etc, there may be a dissonance between how she feels about you when in 'party mode' and how she feels in the cold light of day. At the party, she'll…
/r/seduction16/11/15 06:01 PM
1

Sweet! Thanks for the follow-up. It's such a thrill when you actually put a new approach to the test - and it works! If your experience is to be anything like mine, the next few years should be a serious confidence booster, but more than that, really, really fun.
/r/seduction16/11/15 05:39 PM
2

I think it unwise to rely too heavily on any one particular IOI as your cue for action or not. A girl's eyes might dilate (or not) for reasons unrelated to attraction. However, used as part of a broader reading of her comfort levels, it can indeed be useful. The best way to avoid rejection is to get out of the mindset of "making your move". If you haven't made a cack-handed, desperate fumble of an advance, what is there for her to reject? There is no asking her out for a high-pressure date. Inst…
/r/seduction12/11/15 04:01 PM
1

If she replies and confirms the date, you go on the date. If she replies and cancels the date, shrug it off and move on. If she doesn't reply at all, shrug it off and move on.
/r/seduction12/11/15 10:36 AM
1

That's a shame, you could have just smiled back and said, "See you later," solving the previous problem! I'd still drop her a text as described.
/r/seduction11/11/15 02:19 PM
1

I don't think about it in terms of what I've earned, or what I deserve. The idea that I would 'earn' sex from somebody sounds a bit rapey to me. I think we're in agreement on this, it's not a useful way to think. It's like any other activity that has a lot of unknowns. There is no magic formula, but there is a best practice. An artist can study colour and composition and still produce terrible paintings, but on the whole, that extra study would probably improve his output. Don't let your desire …
/r/seduction11/11/15 01:03 PM
1

It seems that the end game for everyone is to simply have sex This isn't accurate. The simplistic view would be that a guy wants either relationships OR casual sex but it's more complex than that. You might want a casual relationship. You might want a fuck buddy, be it de-facto or by agreement. You might actually enjoy the company of attractive women! Why not just pay? Escorts are expensive. Gold-digging women are expensive too. Dating balanced, non-shallow women is not. A casual relationship wi…
/r/seduction11/11/15 11:36 AM
1

You can confirm whether or not she's coming without having to ask directly. Something humorous and light will work well. For example, if you're meeting at a cool bar you could text: "I should warn you before tonight that the place is often full of hipsters. If you're allergic to skinny jeans and beards you need to tell me NOW - I will not be held responsible! :)" If she's cool she'll reply with something building on the joke. What she says doesn't matter so much - anything other than a cancellat…
/r/seduction11/11/15 09:53 AM
2

Women like the things that attractive women like. A few advertisers might have noticed this over the years. I'm not certain though.
/r/seduction10/11/15 01:09 PM
3

Your post in an expansive one, you seem to be asking what to do on dates, what to talk about on dates, how to overcome nervousness, and everything else in between. I can't possibly do all that justice in a single post. So I'll keep this brief, and try to be useful. Don't make any more references to her dress. As a general piece of advice, if you find some nugget of banter that works... don't dine out on it for too long. It can seem desperate. Talking to people you don't know is a fun challenge, …
/r/seduction10/11/15 12:46 PM
1

Worrying about the size your ramrod at this stage is like worrying about your Oscar acceptance speech before you've even got the part. The immediate goals here are meeting girls, and getting dates. Disregard your dong. I concur with /u/CaptainDAAVE. Do lots of online dating. Think of every date as dating practice, and have no expectations beyond that. The aim is to reach a point where dates don't feel like something alien and out of your comfort zone, but something familiar and fun. A date with …
/r/seduction06/11/15 12:36 PM
1

To quote Mystery (and also Admiral Ackbar): "Stay away from the dancefloor... it's a trap!"
/r/seduction06/11/15 12:04 PM
2

The typical 'indicators of interest' as described by PUAs are usually in the context of girls you've just met. If a girl you've just met seems very invested in what you're doing or saying, then take it as a good sign that she's attracted to you. You still need to escalate and develop the situation before anything can happen, but it's a start. The time to be warier is in the context of girls you already know - colleagues, friends, fellow students, housemates and so on. These girls - presuming the…
/r/seduction06/11/15 11:59 AM
3

Many people that come across as shy appear that way because they hate superficial interactions: small talk, meaningless greetings, asking dull question about how people's weekends went, etc. They are introverts who crave quality interaction over quantity. The irony is that because they are perceived as shy, and apparently less interested in social engagement, people steer away from the deeper topics they may enjoy, and 'play it safe' - by engaging only in the trivial conversations they hate! The…
/r/seduction05/11/15 02:44 PM
3

If the girl making the insecure comment doesn't phrase it as a direct question - such as in your examples - it's easy. You make a neutral comment consistent with nothing remotely important being at stake. The 'if you say so' suggestion from /u/REALLY_IM_NOT_BATMAN is perfect. If the girl asks a direct question: "Do you think all the other girls are hotter than me?" I recommend repeating the question back to her, as if for clarity. Do so slowly, sound almost condescending but not quite. Put the e…
/r/seduction04/11/15 05:03 PM
1

I'm glad it was useful! For the record, I think your article was well-written and considered. Just don't fall prey to cognitive dissonance (i.e. it's easier to believe that pick-up is at fault, rather than that aspects of your own personality are holding you back). Pick-up at its best is science, testing hypotheses and sharing results for others to repeat and validate - and in the process aiding the development of vital social skills and confidence. At its worst, it's a cult-like movement encour…
/r/seduction02/11/15 10:56 AM
3

'Pick-up' has a sleazy sheen to it, granted - the name itself paints a picture of shark-like lady-hunters zeroing in on prey. Many PUAs doubtlessly express themselves in shallow, objectifying terms; focusing on mechanics, and, as you say, ignoring the essential human qualities of those they seek to seduce. I am not about to deny that. However, I would suggest that, in your acknowledgement of the bigger moral picture, you're failing to notice the inherent strengths of the mechanical, objective ap…
/r/seduction30/10/15 06:04 PM
5

I couldn't agree more. It's an empowering thing to be impervious to the charms of insecure women, and seeing past their immediate looks. The same type of women, that, once upon a time, might have caused you all sorts of stress.
/r/seduction30/10/15 03:41 PM
2

I'm 30, and wouldn't date 18-year-olds. Not because of any guilt on my part, but because it would feel like dating a child. I like to date independent, confident women, who earn their own money, have careers, and who don't still live with their parents. Yes, 18-year-olds are hot... and there are worst ways to kill time than putting your willy in one. But 25-year-olds are hot too, but at least they're, you know, adults. Your "feeling bad" may be because a wiser part of your personality agrees wit…
/r/seduction29/10/15 04:01 PM
1

Take a break from worrying about it, and instead focus on developing your talents. Are you an aspiring artist, writer, musician, athlete, actor etc? Concentrate on that for a while... practice, train, learn. If you have no talents or skills worth developing, then find one and get started NOW. The glowing satisfaction you'll get from progressing in any area you care about will rub off into others. You say your confidence isn't low, but if you want it to SOAR this is by far, the truest and most ge…
/r/seduction29/10/15 10:23 AM
1

It seems clear from what you've said that this girl does not desire a romantic relationship with you. Even if there was some way to 'convince' her into entering one it would be unbalanced, and you would feel neither secure, happy nor fulfilled. Therefore: leave it alone. Date more, meet more women, over time this girl's influence on you will diminish... and at some point, with any luck, she'll be displaced from your thoughts by someone who genuinely wants to be with you. A hard lesson is that ma…
/r/seduction26/10/15 03:21 PM
5

Your talk of 'whores' and preference for virgins sounds medieval. Here's a helpful hint from someone who gets it, born 300 years before you. “It is an infantile superstition of the human spirit that virginity would be thought a virtue and not the barrier that separates ignorance from knowledge.” ― Voltaire
/r/seduction26/10/15 12:19 PM
3

When I was at university I found myself in a very similar position. It took me a long time to realise what I was doing wrong (or to be more precise, what I simply wasn't doing at all). And that thing was escalation. Of the physical variety. The PUAs use the term 'kino escalation' so look it up. The basic idea is that you get into the habit of making regular, non-threatening, physical contact with girls - which slowly increases in intimacy to the point where kissing them isn't such a big leap. A …
/r/seduction07/10/15 09:41 AM
1

I talk to women all the time, in large part because my office is mostly female, but I also have lots of female friends and family. You pick up on this stuff and get feel for it. It's all useful. It can be powerful, when, in a large group of people, someone says something that cues an exchange of secret looks, and you're in on it. If you're perceptive enough, it can enable you to build rapport with members of a group without even saying anything. This goes for female and male alike. The best part…
/r/seduction06/10/15 05:16 PM
1

It's not that girls have a secret code per se, more that they possess a vast wealth of reference points informing the little looks they exchange. These reference points exist because girls talk to each other a whole lot more than guys do. Imagine you and I were discussing a mutual friend's obsession with wearing bobble hats. Said friend walks in, wearing an especially grievous bobble hat. We look at each other as if to say, "Ha! We were so right!". Multiply this by a thousand and you've got some…
/r/seduction06/10/15 02:42 PM
1

I posted some of my tips on this a few months ago, they were fairly well received: https://www.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/2sjaek/tips_for_the_actual_date_itself/cnqu3q3
/r/seduction06/10/15 02:02 PM
1

Social validation in adult life is subtler and more nuanced than the kind of nonsense that goes on at school. The biggest difference I'd say (I'm 30, by the way) is that it becomes less about defining one's self worth, and more of a... nice bonus. I work at a large office, in a creative team at a creative organisation. I am popular with my colleagues. When we go to the pub or have big social events, lots of people from around the business will stop me to say hi, and ask how I'm doing. When I tal…
/r/seduction06/10/15 12:56 PM
9

At a VERY basic level, your typical "meet and ask out" scenario works best when: You engage in a non-threatening fun conversation with her, exhibiting attractive qualities. Once you have a good rapport, you make a specific suggestion for meeting up again. If your suggestion is specific, i.e. a particular place and time, it gives her some nice options: A) If she LIKES YOU, and CAN make it: she agrees and you exchange numbers. Lovely stuff. B) If she LIKES YOU, but CAN'T make it: she says "I'd lov…
/r/seduction06/10/15 12:17 PM
1

Yes. But more generally, don't worry so much about whether she likes you or not - if you're interested, you should initiate.
/r/seduction06/02/15 04:01 PM
1

Seize the opportunity to engage with them! You won't improve by being shy and passive. The PUA Mystery has a term he calls the 'proximity alert system'. It's when girls deliberately place themselves near you in a bid to encourage you to approach. Ask any female friend, they'll admit to using such tactics - it's very common. If you like the girls, reward them for their forwardness by striking up a fun conversation that they'll enjoy and makes you look attractive. You have the right idea by the wa…
/r/seduction06/02/15 11:27 AM
9

At the very least, it'll be easy to have great conversations about sex afterwards. Fingers crossed she's nursing a bunch of on-brand masochistic fantasies, and doesn't just sit there with a prudish frown and underwear drier than a witch's tit.
/r/seduction05/02/15 03:37 PM
1

I suggest checking out the right-hand column on here for some good reading material that will introduce you to the basic concepts. For what it's worth, my top-line advice would be: Don't let any one woman occupy too many of your thoughts - this is the road to obsession and what the guys on here call 'one-itis'. No good will come of it... let someone become too important, too soon, and your ability to be charming and attractive will plummet. This is an easy trap to fall into when you don't meet m…
/r/seduction05/02/15 03:27 PM
1

I suggest you find other avenues in your life for meeting women. Why fixate on this one? It doesn't sound convenient. These brief conversations you refer to are probably not the golden opportunities you think they are. Don't be the weird guy who serves the girl coffee each morning (or whatever the reason for these short, regular interactions is) and sees it as big deal. She won't see it that way, I can almost guarantee it. Go out. Meet women. Online date. Whatever. Make friends with some, with o…
/r/seduction05/02/15 12:54 PM
1

There are loads of possible reasons for him not replying, most of which are completely outside of your knowledge or control. So don't worry, and be philosophical about it if you don't see him again. For what it's worth, it may be a good thing that he hasn't replied. Your comparative lack of experience to him would have made for an imbalance in a friends-with-benefits scenario. From my personal experience, FWB is only healthy when neither person has any special power over the other - otherwise fe…
/r/seduction30/01/15 11:08 AM
4

I suggest you discuss the finer details of the sex with your female friends, and see if you can gauge from them how unusually good he actually was, compared with other guys. For example, if the highlight was his amazing oral skills, you friends can hopefully elaborate along the lines of "yeah, maybe the half the guys I've slept with are skilled at that," or "holy crap girl, 18 orgasms? Who is this guy?!" I suggest this approach, because as you point out, he's only the second guy you've slept wit…
/r/seduction30/01/15 10:18 AM
1

A fun variant is to do it mid-opener, as if you're SO passionate about what you're saying that you're prone to tangents. This works well if your approach is very natural, bordering child-like (in a good way). Remember the more passionate you seem about the subject, the less it seems like a ploy to chat up girls. "Hey, very quickly, I need the view from someone wearing heels. Your friends too, actually - in let's make it more like a survey... then I'll let you get back to your drinks. Oh, I'm X b…
/r/seduction28/01/15 10:10 AM
4

Try thinking about it in terms of conversation flow. People are motivated to engage in conversation if they have interesting things to add that make them feel good about themselves. Give them a chance to shine and they will appreciate the opportunity, and by extension, you. The flip side is that if you put somebody on the spot, and they don't know how to respond, it will annoy them and they will resent you. In other words, it's all about enticing someone to engage. Your example, I fear, would ir…
/r/seduction27/01/15 06:30 PM
1

There's a reason why The Game by Neil Strauss is such a common entry point to the world of seduction / pickup - it was written to be just that. Go and read it. It's hugely entertaining, the tone is friendly and humble, and with any luck you'll find it inspiring. Contained within are references to dozens of other books that are worth a look. I tend to read about seduction, get excited at the prospect of trying new things out, and then go and try them out. When I'm in 'experiment mode' I'm not sca…
/r/seduction27/01/15 05:42 PM
1

So far as techniques for influencing people go, making someone fall in love in you is about as advanced as it gets. So unless you are some kind of sociopathic manipulator looking for a challenge, I would suggest you just focus on the basics: behaving in the confident manner of an attractive man with options; driving the date forward; escalating physical contact; making her laugh but not seeming clownish; and so on. Of course, if you are a sociopathic manipulator looking for a challenge, then it'…
/r/seduction26/01/15 11:56 AM
1

When complimenting things women already know they're doing well (e.g. appearance on a beautiful woman) stick to indirect or teasing compliments. For things women wish they were good at but have doubts (e.g. intellect on a beautiful woman), direct compliments can be more powerful. Indirect: "Not many people get this, but I suspect you'll know what I mean..." (This is surprisingly powerful) "Would you rather be ugly or poor?" (A silly hypothetical, but by inference, they aren't ugly) Teasing: "I'v…
/r/seduction23/01/15 03:47 PM
6

Indulgent preamble: Many a seduction guru will tell you that the key ingredients for actually making something happen are attraction and comfort. Focus too much on attraction and girls will worry that you're a player and not let their defences down; focus too much on comfort and you earn yourself a permanent abode in the dreaded Friendzone. The optimal ratio in the attraction / comfort mixture is NOT 1:1. Far from it, you should convey as much attraction as possible, while investing in just enou…
/r/seduction23/01/15 12:36 PM
1

Curious. My experience on OkCupid is fairly consistent: maybe one in five girls I message first will respond, but from that point I almost always get date. It tends to run like this: ME #1: Cool observation about their profile, with some casual quirky question about them HER #1: Answers quirky question, asks me a similar question ME #2: Answer her question, suggest taking the conversation into real life HER #2: Agrees to meet up ME #3: I suggest place and time and provide my mobile number HER #3…
/r/seduction21/01/15 05:46 PM
1

All the suggested lines in this article read like corporate management-speak, and are lacking in attractive tone, sense of humour, or anything remotely appealing. They're robotic. Worse than that, this article seems to presume that men choose which woman to approach based on what that woman is looking for. I would hazard that CONFIDENT men choose which woman to approach based on what that women is like. So my advice to women doing online dating is to write enthusiastically and positively about y…
/r/seduction21/01/15 01:26 PM
2

Perhaps now that you've mastered the basic chatter that engages women, you need to move on to a greater challenge that appeals to your intellect. Read 'The Art of Seduction' by Robert Green. It's an inspiring book that explores the deepest, most powerful ways to connect with people. It's very much 'mid game and beyond'. The book looks at different types of seduction, different types of 'victim' (so to speak) and encourages the reader to find their own style. It's full of historical examples that…
/r/seduction21/01/15 12:45 PM
5

I disagree with your assessment that the whole thing is a waste of time, BUT I completely agree with each of your points. This is a very accurate summary of 'the most annoying thinks about online dating for guys'. For each of the above there are definitely a few counter-strategies, for example, if girls are flaking out after a few massages it's usually because you're taking too long to arrange an actual date. You've inspired me to a write a more detailed post about this, which I will do in due c…
/r/seduction21/01/15 12:23 PM
1

THIS. If you made an amazing impression but your texts are really short and to the point, she's much more likely to think "I guess he doesn't like texting much, bring on the date" than "oh no! Everything I learned the other night was nonsense, these texts are the real him!"
/r/seduction19/01/15 12:49 PM
14

For me it comes down to the lunge distance... it's tough for a kiss to feel smooth and natural if you still need to leap across six feet of empty space to reach her face. Girls know this too. If they want you to kiss them, they will make it easier for you, but it is subtle. Chances are, if you think you should kiss her, it's probably because you've subconsciously picked up on these signals. For example, if you're leaving one bar and walking to the next, and the girl has her arm in yours and sque…
/r/seduction19/01/15 12:42 PM
8

I suspect you already know what the advice here is likely to be, but, maybe if you're honest with yourself, you were hoping for something easier... Improve yourself. Date other girls. Eventually she'll be displaced from that part of your mind you wish she didn't inhabit. There's no easy fix that I'm aware of. Sadly.
/r/seduction16/01/15 07:37 PM
1

Funnily enough, I met the guys who opened Notes back when they worked on a market stall near my work. They've gone up in the world since then! The first time I went to Notes, which was on a date, one of the owners was there. It was great being able to do the big alpha greeting thing, addressing him by name, complimenting the place, asking how business was. (The date went well. We went on to Gordon's after that.) It goes to show that making the effort to befriend the random guy that served me cof…
/r/seduction16/01/15 01:01 PM
1

I'm sorry to hear that, I can imagine it would be vexing. But as daft_goose and others have suggested, coffee is nice alternative. I think there's an over-emphasis on drinking in the UK, so much so that I forget the rest of the world is a little more restrained! I wish you the best with your ongoing recovery.
/r/seduction16/01/15 11:04 AM
1

Fair enough, ice skating in particular is great for that. I suppose because I find it easy enough to convert dates into sex, or more dates, I'm probably rather lazy when it comes to activities. Which isn't a good thing.
/r/seduction16/01/15 09:41 AM
2

You could invite them to group events, ideally mixed groups. These could even include your girlfriend. If they befriend your girlfriend that would help in putting their relationship with you in firm friendzone territory. (Deliberately trying to be friendzoned? Never thought I'd be thinking about how to do that...) What else... Less intimate bars. Going bowling, or anything that's noisy. Meeting during the day instead of evenings. False time constraints that involve your girlfriend might work, "I…
/r/seduction16/01/15 09:00 AM
5

Do you mean in the sense that you want to pull girls but don't want to risk obvious 'date scanerios' because of your LTR? Or are you asking how best to maintain strong platonic relationships with girls without giving the wrong idea?
/r/seduction16/01/15 02:52 AM
6

Very true. I'm still partial to those myself.
/r/seduction16/01/15 02:46 AM
5

The latter. Usually along the lines of, "you should definitely come and check out this place I found..."
/r/seduction16/01/15 02:43 AM
1

It's called Gin Mare. It's odd but fantastic.
/r/seduction16/01/15 02:41 AM
9

Not everyone here is dry - but sarcasm and a darker sense of humour certainly hit the mark more often than not. I for one cannot abide very girly, ditzy girls. You know the sort. Where every other word is 'like' and they can't stop checking their phones every 15 seconds. Sometimes you have to tell yourself, "sex just isn't fun enough to work that hard."
/r/seduction16/01/15 02:37 AM
6

Agreed - I'm all for tips but when people start listing rules it can seem too prescriptive. Above all it's fun experimenting. Applying a more scientific mindset to such a 'sacred cow' as dating, love, attraction, etc has always thrilled me. My feeling has always been: screw you and your cliches, I'm going to test some ideas and find out what works for me!
/r/seduction16/01/15 02:27 AM
2

Thank you. Agree next-to is pretty solid, but I like the corner thing because it's best of both a lot of the time. Next-to is great for people-watching - an awesome source of conversation in busy places.
/r/seduction16/01/15 02:22 AM
2

That's very kind of you, much appreciated.
/r/seduction16/01/15 02:20 AM
6

I am indeed! Right then. Coffee wise, I'd suggest Notes on St Martin's Lane. It's open late, they do wine too, it's very cool. Check out The Star at Night, near Oxford Street / Dean Street. It's a cool gin bar and of all the places I go, was most in my mind writing the post. You can (and should) book a table there as there's no standing room. Near Covent Garden I like Freud (though it can busy sometimes) and Detroit. The London Cocktail Club near Holborn isn't bad. Down by Embankment there's Gor…
/r/seduction16/01/15 02:18 AM
1

Tricky one. I grew up in a small town in the countryside, so I know the pain. My solution - or lack thereof - was pretty much to wait until I got out of said town! My best advice would be to ask friends who know the area what works for them.
/r/seduction16/01/15 02:04 AM
2

Thanks, I'm glad you liked them. And agreed! One of the many reasons restaurant dinner dates are so overrated is that the seating arrangement is often too formal for what you're trying to do. Namely intimacy / comfort building.
/r/seduction16/01/15 01:55 AM
3

Thanks! And boy does that toilet look a cosy spot.
/r/seduction16/01/15 01:52 AM
6

Ideally, you would plant the seed of an idea during the first date. For example, you discuss your shared love of ancient Rome / Justin Bieber / marbles during the date, and then follow up by inviting her to the Nero exhibit / living hell / marble factory for next time.
/r/seduction14/01/15 03:52 PM
2

Do you have many female friends? If so, apologies if this seems patronising! If not, try befriending girls to whom you feel little or no attraction. It'll seem like there's less at stake and you'll feel more comfortable. Over time, you'll develop an ear for the type of conversations girls enjoy (HINT: intriguing new ways they can learn about themselves) as well as convenient segues to bring up those subjects ("I read this article earlier about personality types, tell me if you agree with this...…
/r/seduction14/01/15 12:15 PM
2

I've been online dating for about five years now, with a couple of long breaks when I've had relationships. But in that time I think I've definitely noticed some patterns with messages. Most girls do online dating because they want to arrange real dates. They don't want to chat endlessly online. However they need at least a basic sense of comfort before they agree to meet up with you. Your task is to find that sweet spot: asking them to meet up before the conversation loses momentum, but after s…
/r/seduction14/01/15 03:03 AM
1

"Go away I wanna sleep" sounds like another name for "I'm not interested in what people have to say." Perhaps you're making an effort to talk to new people, but they can read you well enough to know that you're out of your comfort zone. This kills rapport, reduces the contributions they're willing to make, and as you say, makes conversations die. The lifeblood of conversation is the self-indulgent "me too!". When conversing, think of it as a challenge to inspire people to say "me too" and introd…
/r/seduction13/01/15 02:47 PM
2

I suggest focusing on making more friends, ideally both men and women. It sounds like you would benefit from having more people around you to bounce ideas off, enjoy activities with, and generally make you feel more like the social, comfortable kind of guy that women find attractive. In doing so, avoid people likely to encourage bad habits - i.e. don't hang around with guys that have all the same problems as you (unless they're equally motivated to change too). Consider getting part time bar wor…
/r/seduction13/01/15 02:14 PM
1

I'm not one for hard-and-fast rules, but I do have a few. One is to NEVER transfer responsibility for arranging the date to the girl. Reasoning: I don't enjoy the loss of control waiting for her to get in contact with me When you choose a time and place to meet it's a good chance to prove what amazing taste/knowledge you have of cool places It's more confident / attractive to 'risk' exposing your preference You seem busier / in demand / popular Girls often resent being forced to make decisions! …
/r/seduction13/01/15 01:49 PM
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