Changing my vibe

Schtemich · 2015-01-13T14:47:10+00:00

"Go away I wanna sleep" sounds like another name for "I'm not interested in what people have to say." Perhaps you're making an effort to talk to new people, but they can read you well enough to know that you're out of your comfort zone. This kills rapport, reduces the contributions they're willing to make, and as you say, makes conversations die.

The lifeblood of conversation is the self-indulgent "me too!". When conversing, think of it as a challenge to inspire people to say "me too" and introduce their own comparable story. A good way to do this is make conversations move from anecdotes to discussions about how different people would act in that scenario.

Typical structure:

"A funny thing happened!" You talk about the amusing thing that happened to you, for example, nearly getting attacked by drunk Santa.
You finish with a statement about your character relating to the story, such as "it wouldn't have happened if I just kept my mouth shut! Sometimes it's just too tempting to get the last word in, even when you know it's a bad idea..."
Someone else pipes up with, "I know what you mean, me too! There was this time last week..."

You can follow this with questions about the other people's character: "So are you a bit of perfectionist, then?" / "Ah, but imagine if it was [thing you care about] that was at stake!" / "What would be your tactic?"

Keep it playful, calibrated to the level of rapport. The most enticing questions have an edge that inspires the answerer to (lightly) defend themselves:

"Well then! Since you're such a pro: how would you handle it? We're all expecting a perfect answer, by the way." "I like your style... are you always so ruthless?" "But what if flirting with the guy wasn't an option? Is there a Plan B?"

In a nutshell:

Learn to genuinely value, and appear interested in, people's answers.
Always think about how to motivate the people you converse with to say "me too!" and introduce their own stories.
Ask playful questions that encourage people to talk about themselves.

Good luck.

Title	Changing my vibe
Author	golemzilla
Upvotes	0
Comments	1
Date	January 13, 2015 1:59 PM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/2sa3yn/changing_my_vibe/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/changing-my-vibe.1382291 https://theredarchive.com/post/1382291

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