A couple years ago I used to host exclusive parties in London. One of the ways I got them popping was to make sure they were filled with really hot women, and this meant finding girls on social media and DMing them in the hopes of building business relationships. I was actually quite successful at getting girls’ attention and by having so many model calibre women at my events, they were really popular. But I noticed a pleasant side effect too; basically once girls started coming to my parties and got to know me, our business relationships often became platonic and sometimes sexual. If you’re reading these words then that probably appeals to you so with that in mind, this post is basically a breakdown that will show you how to do what I did.

It will show you how to message pretty girls on IG (or any other social media platform), and have them give you the time of day. Remember though that I contacted these girls to form business relationships so that’s the angle I’m taking here in this guide.

Now, is my way the only way you can get a girl’s attention on social media? I doubt it, but it’s what worked for me. Also; let me just say that there are millions of guys who slide into the DMs of beautiful women on a daily basis, but their response rates are horrific because they’re doing it all wrong.

You might think it’s impossible to stand out from the cesspool of thirst in an Instagram model’s inbox, but it’s not. It’s completely feasible for you to turn a DM into a real-life relationship as long as you offer value, and it’s not as hard to do that as you might think. Most dudes on social media aren’t offering a girl anything but compliments on her appearance and the 'opportunity' for a sleazy one-night stand. They’re boring as hell and that’s why they fail so consistently, but this doesn’t have to be your destiny.

Getting a woman to respond to your DMs on IG simply depends on a few factors

How interested she is in you as a person.

How funny, witty, or interesting your DM is.

What she thinks she has to gain from interacting with you.

A man with a cool life and who sends interesting messages is offering value to a woman and that’s exactly who you need to be. You need to be the guy who’s providing something she actually wants. A guy who she feels like she has to respond to. This is how you’ll successfully attract women on Instagram.

So what does an Instagram model want??

Well firstly let me clarify that in this article, I’m using the term ‘Instagram model’ to describe any girl who uses social media to show off her appearance. Also; before we go any further let me just reiterate that the LAST things these girls need are more compliments on their bodies, romantic invitations and dick pics. I don’t care how perfectly formed your schlong might be, keep all pictures of it to yourself unless someone explicitly asks you to send one.

Anyway, the majority of IG models WILL be interested in opportunities to either build their social media presence or make money. Professional models with millions of followers will have managers setting up these types of opportunities, so it might be harder to reach them initially but it’s still worth trying. In any event; most hotties from your hometown with aspirations of becoming influencers have no idea of how to go about getting discovered and that’s exactly where you come in.

Step 1. Get hold of photographers and promoters

If you’re a high-end photographer or promoter then superb, but you don’t have to be. You just need to know how to befriend someone who is, and once again, the secret to doing that is to offer value. In order to get someone to want to give you something then you also have to give them something that they need. That’s just as true in business as it is in your personal life so please don’t forget it. All of life is a value exchange. A homeless man has no value so he’s ignored but a Hollywod film director has extremely high value so he’s praised. A boring man has little value so people don’t kill themselves to hang out with him, but a hilarious man has high value so people always invite him to parties.

If you can figure out how to provide value to people then you’ll be infinitely more successful in your interactions with them than if you can’t. Everyone has something they need, a girl might really want a creative or adventurous boyfriend and a guy might really want a loving girlfriend, and guess what? Both the guy and the girl will ignore potential partners who don’t provide the value they need in favour of those who do.

Anyway, usually the main thing these photographer/promoter guys want is girls, either to model for them or to attend their parties and make them look cool/successful. That’s the main thing they need and if you can scratch that itch, they’ll love you to bits.

All you need to do is be a friendly guy and offer them the value that they so sorely need. Message them on IG or find them in real life and tell them that you’re willing to help them find new models to work with. When you let them know that you’re happy to do this for free you’ll find that most will say yes. Don’t worry though, once you’ve proven yourself to be a viable asset then you can start charging money for your services.

Step 2. Create a high-value Instagram profile

Now before we start, I want to say that the goal here is to use Instagram to convey things about your personality or lifestyle that are inherently attractive to women so that when the models you DM decide to check you out they like what they see, think they can trust you and respond to your messages. The traits listed below are those that girls really need to see from men they don’t know and if you lack them you’re going to have difficulties attracting them either offline or online.

If you don’t embody the traits below then look into cultivating them within yourself ASAP. There’s loads of places you can go visit to turn your situation around and you can DM me for coaching too. Finally before I get started, let me also say that women rank their safety as being of the utmost importance and they’re unlikely to take risks with it. If they can’t look at your profile and quickly see that you’re completely safe to be around then your goals of meeting them will be sunk before they’ve even begun. This is why it’s essential that you convey the right things on your page. But enough of the bs, let’s get cracking. Here are the main traits that women are attracted to in men:

Leadership qualities

Passion

Preselection (being trusted by other women)

Confidence

Humour

Goals

Having a tender side

Now there might be one or two I’ve forgotten but this is basically the bedrock foundation for female attraction. Any man who embodies many or all of these traits will do very well in his endeavours with the opposite sex. On the flip side, a man who embodies few or none of the above will love a life of misery and frustration.

In any event, the key to using Instagram to attract women lies in conveying as many of these qualities on your profile as possible. Any model you DM is more likely to get back to you if she thinks you’re an ‘attractive’ man than if she doesn’t so that’s really something to remember. Anyway, Instagram currently let’s you post to one of 3 areas. I’ll list them below then explain what they’re used for.

1 - Your feed

2 - Your story

3 - Your IG TV

Posting to your feed

This is what people see when they first look at your profile. The images and videos here will stay until either you delete them or IG’s servers are blown up by a North Korean thermonuclear device. As a result; it’s best used for singular pieces of content that you want people to be able to see long term.

Posting to your story

Posts to your story have a 24 hour shelf life. They literally delete themselves after one day and because of that your story is best used to show what you’ve done that day. If you’re at a club, a park, having dinner with friends, or looking at animals at the zoo, you can use your IG story to tell a sequential tale of your activities.

Posting to your IG TV

IG TV is basically a way for people to upload videos that are longer than the standard 60 second limit and seems to be best used by those who use the platform to promote themselves. If you’re a personal trainer who gives out fitness advice, a confidence coach who’s doling out social tips, a philosopher who pontificates or maybe even a street dancer who likes to strut his funky stuff, then this might be a really good avenue for you.

Now let’s look at how Instagram can be used to display the various qualities that women find attractive.

Leadership qualities

Do you coach a basketball team, teach BJJ or lead a public speaking seminar? Is there an area of your life where you’re in a leadership position? If there is then you need to start displaying that regularly on your profile because it’ll make all the difference.

Passion

Passion is exactly what it sounds like, passion. Anything that you really give a shit about and that moves you emotionally. What are you passionate about? What do you care about deeply? Saving animals? Veganism? Partying? Working on yourself? Playing chess? Whatever your passions are, share them on your profile to give girls a window into who you are.

Preselection (being trusted by other women)

A massive thing women worry about is whether or not you’re going to either be physically abusive, mentally abusive, or just really boring to be around. Women like guys who come preselected by other women because the very fact that these women trust that man implies that they should too. When a girl looks at your profile and sees pictures or videos of you with other women (and the hotter the better) she’ll take notice. She’ll say to herself ‘Hmm. If all these girls are really happy to be around him then there must be a reason for that. He must be a really great guy.’

So take pictures and videos with women wherever possible.

Confidence

I’m learning yoga at the moment and basically suck at it. I’m stiff as all hell and can’t do the postures properly. BUT; I’m happy to post about it and have everyone who knows me watch me suck at something. The most would think that showing your flaws is a weakness but it’s actually a strength because it takes real confidence to to display something you’re not good at. People respect and admire those with the confidence to do things that most people can’t. But that’s not the only way you can convey confidence. Another way might be to make videos talking about something you’re passionate about. There’s any number of ways you could demonstrate self belief on your profile, so ask yourself what would work best for you.

Humour

This pretty much speaks for itself really but people like to laugh and hot girls on IG are no different. If they think you’re funny then they’ll like you and will be more likely to respond to your DMs. How can you show your funny side on your profile?

Goals

I’ve recently written and released a book (Death of the Ego, available on Amazon #subtleplug) and I’ve made a few videos talking about it. They inadvertently show that I’m a man with goals he wants to achieve which is exactly what I am because I’ve always wanted to write a novel that touched the hearts of people worldwide. My book was a huge labour of love and I want as many people as possible to experience it, not for the money I’d make but for the satisfaction I’d get from temporarily pulling them out of their normal day to day lives. What are your goals and how could you display them on your IG profile?

Having a tender side

I’ve got 3 nieces who I absolutely love to death and would die for at a moments’ notice. Whenever I see them I always take pictures and a side effect of doing so is that people get to see my tender side. The fact is that any woman who was worried I might be a rapist/stalker/whatever would have some of her fears alleviated by seeing my post pictures of my lovely nieces. What’s your tender side?

And this brings me into the next step, which is:

Step 3. Get onto a model’s radar

Now you’ve been posting for a while and have built up an IG that conveys good things about your character, what you want to do now is find your models and get onto their radars, so here’s how you’re going to do that. Firstly you’re going to follow their pages, and secondly you’re going to comment on their posts and stories for a week or 2. Now when I say comment, I don’t mean to say the same old boring, lust and thirst driven stuff that most guys say, you’re going to provide value with your statements.

For instance, if the lighting or framing in one of a model’s pictures could be improved, you’re going to let her know how so that she can make her future posts better. If she asks her followers where the hot parties are this weekend then you’re gonna answer it to the best of your ability. Basically your goal is to get her to notice you and think ‘Who is this guy who keeps posting all these useful comments?’ before checking out your profile and seeing how cool you are.

Step 4. Slide into the DMs

Even with a quality profile and high-value offer, it remains difficult to stand out among other DM sliders. You wouldn’t believe the level of pathetic, grotesque messages that the average Instagram hottie receives. They lead most of them to discount DMs from complete strangers altogether. In any event though, if you’ve followed the previous steps then you’ll have positioned yourself as being nothing like those clueless saps and will have a good chance of getting a response. That said however:

Here are some strategies you can use to increase your chances of getting a response to a cold DM slide

Reply to her stories

This is a more natural and laid back way of getting in touch, and the easiest way to offer value. If you see she’s in a certain part of town, you can recommend a great restaurant or mention something cool that happened to you when you were there. If there’s a funny quip that can be made about her story, then go ahead and quip that quip real quick. This helps build a rapport, and offers a lot more value than the average DM slider who only offers generic compliments. Once she responds to your message you can pitch her your offer.

A video message

An advantage of Instagram is that it lets you send video messages into a woman’s DMs which is another great way to stand out. Consider travelling to a cool picturesque location once a week and recording a video message for each of your leads. It only needs to be a short message saying that you spotted her profile and that you’ve been working with photographers/promoters to set up a photoshoot/party. Videos allow you to demonstrate your confidence and charm in far more depth than texts.

Now here’s the thing about trying to attract women on Instagram, their interest in hearing from you will be relative to your perceived value in their eyes. This means that provided she can see that you’re a cool guy who’s going out and living his own life to the fullest, she’ll be inclined to respond to what you say as long as you’re not offensive and don’t send a stream of boring messages. Provided you follow the steps here, she’ll be infinitely more likely to respond than if you didn’t.

Also, when you DM her to make the offer, don’t make a single comment about her appearance. That’s what everybody else does and it’s a surefire way to get yourself disqualified just like all the rest. Also, be prepared for the possibility that she still might not respond to your first message. You have no idea how many messages hot girls get on social media every day so there’s every possibility that yours might get lost in the shuffle. She might also just forget to get back to you. In any event, should that happen, wait a week, message her again, and keep doing that until you get a response. Literally do not stop until she either says ‘Please leave me alone.’ or apologises for taking so long to get back to you.

Sending your first message

Hey this is (your name here) and I’m just letting you know that I can help you with your social media promotion, if you’re interested. I work with a number of known and respected photographers and promoters who are always looking for new girls to feature and I think you might be a good fit. We have an event called (name of event) taking place at (date and location of event) and the pay is (how much she’ll get for attending). Let me know if you’re interested.

Step 5. Transition away from IG

If a girl shows any sort of interest in your offer, ask for her phone number so you can chat on WhatsApp, Telegram, Viber etc. She’s far more likely to have notifications turned on with these platforms and you no longer have to worry about getting lost among the avalanche of inbound DMs. Also; when you’re communicating with her be professional at all times until you’ve met in person and have had the chance to build up some sort of rapport.

Anyway, from there, invite her to your party or photoshoot and let nature take its course. And when you’re at the party, remember to relax and enjoy yourself. Having helped set it up and find most of the girls you’ll be the high-value guy at this event and people will naturally gravitate towards you.

Enjoy the good life

And that’s pretty much it. After that it’s a case of rinse and repeat with new girls as often as you need to. Another thing you’ll want to do is to take pictures of yourself with various models and other people at your parties/shoots because they’ll give future girls you message absolute proof that you’re not lying to them and a clear idea of what they’ll be getting into. Also; something that you’ll find is that once you’ve made connections with a few models, they’ll start referring their friends to you for modelling opportunities and you’ll have girls hitting you up out of the blue.

Also if everything I’ve listed here seems like too much work then just don’t do it. I’m not barking orders at you, just telling you what worked for me so if you can’t be bothered with it then adapt what you can from this guide and keep doing you.

Ciao for now, humans.

Excelsior!

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