Ok, well...

I finally worked out what was up.

Days 2 - 4 can be summed up in the following ways.

Me stumbling around, saying mildly amusing or mildly complimentary openers. I had one great 2 hour convo with a 9/10. Unfortunately she was married and had a baby girl even then I got her agreeing to go for a drink with me. Couldn't do it lads.

However, I had noticed something since I began pickup again. It was that girls were not giving me the time of day. I had to work to keep their attention, then even when I did, it was like I was a skunk. Frankly it was fucking weird. It was last night I worked out why.

I have a new business which is fucking stressful to run, add that to my relationship that was breaking down earlier this year, a load of masturbation to VR porn, video games and sceens and I have been incredibly sleep deprived. I started getting bags under my eyes that visibility aged me and my right eye even started twitching 2 weeks ago. Add this all to the jet lag, the fact that I was sleeping on a boat the last 4 days that was like a hot tomb with hay for a matress and I look like utter shit. I have been having memory problems, (as I started to find out when reading that message from Prime on here), my talking and wit has plummted as has my instinct. I finally realised when I saw a picture of myself and I genuinely looked like a washed up monster. If someone like that approached me I would count the seconds till they stumbled away.

Anyway... I and this was the first sign of something new on the horizon. I flipped out, said fuck this and left the boat. Almost as a sign of fortune the boat near me was having a party at the time with 4 girls and a guy and the girls who I talked to (like old me, who doesn't give a fuck about anything )asked if I wanted to join in. As a testament to my tiredness I promptly say no.

So after a nights sleep in another boat I broke into, I left and went to the first hostel I could find and promptly went to sleep.

Day 5 Report.

I wake up. The bags are not gone. But I look less of a monster and my brain is semi optimal/operational.

I head downstairs to make breakfast of eggs and avacado. (The ususal)

Instantly a girl approaches me. 7/10. Within 5 minutes I have her making my breakfast.I head upstairs to get my new room key, 8/10 receptionist. We talk for an hour, I ask her if she wants to go for a drink coming up. She says, she will have to look at her schedule but if I come at 8 when she is done then we could make it work. (To the point women, like it) At the same time the girl from downstairs comes back up and is hanging over me and asks if I will take a 2 minute ride with her in the lift. I begrudgingly say yes while the receptionist watches. We go to her room, she says, if you were expecting sex then I am here for my glasses. I laugh, turn the fuck around and she screams, "no, no, no come back." I am out of there. She tries to get me back, I return to the receptionist. We talk more and 7/10 is still on me and now asks if I will have a drink with her later, I roll my eyes and say "fine" she seems happy and dissapears. Convo with receptionist goes as above. We talk about, her being able to do the splits, her dreams, my dreams, (I remember how to get emotional investment, fuck, comeon, memory is returning!)

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Ok, so at this point I am thinking. Wow, I am still really tired but I am at least humanish again.

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So I head into town to go to a museum. Inside I see a 7.5, I say hello. I ask what they think of painting. Usual shit. We talk, I get her to walk and follow me, we leave, we go ride around town on one bike like idiots, we get coffee, (All I am thinking at this time is SAME DAY LAY, retake your throne! ahaha) Anyway, I ended having a beautiful day with her but the logistics were not right, she flying home. But we had a beautiful moment kissing and holding each other during the sunset whilst my ferry came. Frankly it was special.

The message I just got back from her tonight reads...

"Before I leave here, you make (OMITTED LOCATION) more beautiful for me."

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Now where am I? I hear you ask. I walked past a nightclub and so much in me said, YES YES! It's coming back, go, go out. Like the old days, finish on a fuck. But nah, Sleep deprivation is not cured in 1 night. So I am comfortably in bed. I even saw the 7/10 10 minutes ago and avoided her/hid so that I could get to bed undisturbed. Why, cos that's what I fucking want to do.

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So what have I learnt?

  1. Sleep deprivation is real, don't fuck with sleep yo. I went from looking younger than my age to a terrible version of someone older than my age. I couldn't talk or think like me. Yikes.
  2. Don't be desperate. Remember that you don't want anything from them, you are complete already, everything extra in life is a bonus. You are born into this life alone and guess what..
  3. I am still not back yet.
  4. But...I am more back than I was.
  5. Push and Pull.
  6. MAKE GIRLS FEEL SOMETHING. IF YOU CAN'T THEN THEY CAN'T EVEN SEE YOU. YOU ARE FURNITURE. I have some techniques to do this but frankly I don't think I will share them till we get the DEETS to back it up.

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I will probably do another one of these with some good stories. Peace.