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A question about neediness

unlivedbread · 2021-06-22T01:16:52+00:00

If needing something causes needy behaviour. And I need sex. How can I possibly learn to get it without being needy? Considering that it is a huge turn off to...

unlivedbread

June 22, 2021

2 upvotes

/r/seduction

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Post Information

Title	A question about neediness
Author	unlivedbread
Upvotes	2
Comments	9
Date	June 22, 2021 1:16 AM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/o5aqaw/a_question_about_neediness/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/a-question-about-neediness.1282046 https://theredarchive.com/post/1282046

Comments

[–]Fair_Yogurtcloset265 1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (8 children) | Copy Link

[–]unlivedbread 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link

I'm not in a relationship right now. Unfortunately haven't fucked since it ended a month a half ago and I'm getting desperate. Mostly because I know my ex is on tinder and getting it right now.

I'm not begging women for sex though. I'm doing cold approaches. been on 7 dates (3 planned 5 instant) and haven't gotten sex from any. I think that it's because of neediness and I've been trying hard to get out of it. I know the general rule of thumb is, to be honest. But going up to strangers and asking for sex sounds like a rather great recipe for trouble. Maybe I'm not communicating my sex interest intensely enough? I open by calling them gorgeous, but I think after that I basically talk with them as if they are a friend, I generally try to keep the conversation going, feeding the conversation instead and the sex doesn't come (I've asked if they wanted to chill at their apartment on two dates and they declined)

What could I be doing wrong here?

[–]Fair_Yogurtcloset265 2 points3 points4 points 5 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link

I'm a female. Just wanted to clarify that so you would know I'm not some guy on here assuming I know about women lol. Most guys don't realize there are women who just want sex also. It seems like you might be going on dates so that you can get laid and I understand that, but I think you should approach it differently. It needs to be a sure thing. If you're not content pleasing yourself, just be blatantly honest from the very beginning. Complimenting a woman is great, but some of these women might be looking for love and that's not going to work. Get on Tinder and make sure everything is marked letting people know that you're just looking for a good time. Don't be vulgar, but ensure their good time also. The only thing stopping some women from a little strange is not knowing if they're going to get off, there's nothing worse than wham-bam thank-you ma'am. You have to warm women up, lots of foreplay. It doesn't even have to be intense foreplay, making it about us during that time can sometimes mean the difference between a good time and no time at all lol. Seriously, there's nothing worse than a guy who's trying to hurry and get it in. PATIENCE IS A VIRTUE, always remember that in the moment and you'll establish yourself as an amazing lay and the women will be calling you. We like to have the good lay on call too. Set any dating profile as just looking for sex or whatever. Maybe check out different apps that are on par with that. You just need to snag a few of these just looking for sex girls and show them an amazing time, they'll do the rest. I don't know if you've done this, but in preparation, watch some videos about how to please women, G Spot videos and read some stuff about positioning to hit the spot. I'm not trying to imply that you don't know this stuff already, it's just that we can all use tips and if you're going to put yourself out there for sex only you might as well be really really amazing at it.

[–]unlivedbread 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link

[–]Fair_Yogurtcloset265 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

That's a tough question to answer. I mean no offense by this in case there are any women reading it, but in today's climate you have to be very careful. I don't think going up to women and telling then you want sex is a great idea lol. I don't think there's any daytime cold approach for this, especially in this day and age. I'm 42 so I'm not very tech-savvy, but I'm sure there are apps and sites that focus on just sex. I will tell you this, the cold blatant approach might make these women think that you're going to be a selfish lover? It comes off a bit too eager. I've had plenty of one night stands and not one of those times did anyone come up to me and straight up ask for sex. When you're at the club and the girl you're talking to is feeling it, you can usually tell. Playing it cool is better advice in my opinion. I would definitely check out sites and I would play it cool 100% if you think you're getting anywhere with someone. Girls like to feel special, like the guy has all these other options, but he's choosing her. Coming up and just asking for sex kind of feels like he's just looking for a hole, you know what I mean.

[–]unlivedbread 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]Fair_Yogurtcloset265 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

[–]unlivedbread 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]Fair_Yogurtcloset265 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link