1. Confidence

Confidence is skill slowly build over time through repetition. No matter what you’re good at there was a time when you suuuuucked at it and maybe wanted to give up however, through many hours of practice, critiques from teachers and bosses you eventually got better.

  1. Count your successes and focus on what you did right.

The studies are there. Positive feedback from others and positive self talk from yourself has been know to boost confidence, performance and continued drive when someone is on a difficult path. I mean, what if every day someone listed all the great things about you and all of your successes. It would be a little embarrassing for some. Eventually it would be normal and at some point kind of annoying, right? How about the other way around? How depressing would that be. Unfortunately that’s where a lot of people are. Constantly nagging about what they did wrong and just a gross lack of self confidence and it kills their ability to push through tough situations since negative thoughts and feedback tend to kill creativity.

  1. Attack the problem.

If you have anxiety you’ll eventually have to face that fear one way or another. This means you’re going to have to approach and get use to it which is going to take a lot of proactive and intentional practice. This means approach!! Not chatting up friends at work, not the girl at Starbucks behind the counter, not the waitress who has to be nice to you, not signing up for yoga or salsa in some attempt to or in a round about way meet women. This mean approach! Everywhere and it means going for the gold. Bit much? Of course it is. Yes, baby steps are encouraged when doing this but eventually the day will come when approaching someone in the store or walking in the park will come easy.

  1. One step at a time.

When escalating that is a pretty simple rule to follow. Escalating to the kiss or to a place for the night all follow the same simple process which starts with socially acceptable touch (shoulder or elbow) which eventually moves into hand holding, hugs, a kiss or make out session, maybe some time sitting alone. You see, escalating is all about building comfort not so much moving to a point as quickly as possible. The steps mentioned above aren’t actually steps but points that can be reached over time. The old school method? Two steps forward, one step back. Here’s a better look at it. Most women won’t escalate but rather give you hints or signs as to what’s ok or not. I think a lot of people are concerned they’ll make a wrong move and be slapped and embarrassed in front of everyone. Thaaaaaaaat usually only happens when you’re a duche. Most of the time she’ll stop you if it’s too much too soon. Listen and pay attention.

  1. Overthink in the best possible way!

Some of the most successful men and women I know in life and in the area of social skills always over exaggerate the outcome they want and you know what? The actual outcome is usually closer to what they said than you could imagine. This of course after years of understanding how this method works. I mean, if you’re going to overthink something you may as well do it in a good way. Say you want to make ONE MILLION DOLLARS a day but you only end up making 10k per day? Would you be mad? Say you want to travel to 15 countries this year but you only make 7-8. Mad? Of course not but you’d probably have more drive to get to those other countries next year. Look, when it comes to meeting women/men you can’t worry about what will go wrong. Instead tell yourself “Look! There’s the future mother of my 16 children!” An exaggeration I’m sure but saying that out loud usually warrants a laugh or complete shock.