some of us get anxious in the lead up and during a date, and we know we shouldn't be. worse, we know anxiety can only contribute to what we are in itself anxious about! that is, being boring, or weird, or just simply not attractive in some way. downward spirals start this way, and you lose your confidence as you psych yourself out.

what I realize and remind myself is... you ARE NOT IN LOVE with her (him)! and she is not in love with you. that's not being pessimistic, but it's likely the fact. the point is that too often non-player guys can build a wall that is too hard to climb, because the girl is cute or desirable, and the more he tries the greater the challenge he gives himeself.

the part that she is not in love with you either is also important. it means RELAX, she's not stressing out about you most likely. even if you do something not awesome, she either won't notice, or care nearly as much as you think.

TL:DR -- treat dates for what they are: low pressure, low emotional stakes socializing. don't over estimate the seriousness of yourself.