I'll keep it short, Approached an hb 7 and had Hewlett success, started in with hi I'm drunk and escalated properly and generally was interested as her as a person rather than seeking to fill a gap in my ego. We made out after I noticed lots of body language/eye rolling/messing around with hands and asked her if she wants to kiss me. I realized she was beyond drunk as she asked me my name 4 different times. I sent her on her way home. Sure I could have had the oppurtunity but i have integrity.

Approached an Hb 9.5 following three second rule after serious eye contact and tried to be something I'm not by impressing her with a silly cheesy joke. She blew me off like a tumbleweed through a desert and instead of feeling offended and angry I was actually happy. She called me out on my insecuritys and inability to be aggressive and natural in myself. An extension of my ego. She literally said I would have been more impressed if you would have commented ok how cute I was rather than trying a lame joke to talk to me. I thanked her for her bluntness and honesty.

I was happy and pretty happy. Here I was completely insecure and I was completely blown out and imbarresed because of it. It was a great moment I reflect upon because I realize Denying my true nature only inhibits my ability to demonstrate my true self to the world without inflating my ego or trying to validate myself to other people. The real man understands he is complete by himself and doesn't require other people but other people make him feel more complete if he doesn't allow his ego to feel the need to inflate himself upon those people. Essentially, be you and be confident about it. You can fake it for so long but people will eventually see through your bullshit. Just be comfortable being you and don't be afraid of being rejected because identifying with rejection only further inflates your ego and life is too short to be limited by internal mental conflict. When you die your life is defined by three things. Your birth date, your death date and the hyphen inbetween. How you live between the space is up to you. Either you can let a 100lb person define you or you can understand the absurdity of your insecurities and question your true feelings of fear and ego. To realize rejection is perfectly normal and to let it bother you, ie identify with the negative and create an image to protect yourself only further inflated your ego (defense shield) against realizing your true purpose within yourself.

TLDR I type too much