I am trying to understand something.

In my culture, nobody gives two shits about feelings (at least they didn't in the past) and so I brought this mindset to NA, where I now live. My mindset is, "Since this is a capitalist country, its every man for himself so fuck doing nice things for people unless they do it to me back, in which case we will have a relationship of mutual benefit".

Furthermore, I hate all the social pleasantries like saying, "how are you?". Like anyone gives a fuck about how you are doing. If a person is fat, I call them fat. If they are stupid, I call them stupid. If they are ugly, I call them ugly.

I was brought up with the concept, as a kid, that nobody gives a shit about your opinion, there are adults who can figure shit out without you. Now, after my father died, I try to rule my brother (who was born here) the same way, which he always fights against.

I value efficiency above everything else and so kid I tried to suppress all emotion, but it didn't work. I now, realized I yearn for a woman like those that I read of in Hemingway or Jack London. The thing is, I find it difficult to express emotion.

I ask this because I have been having some trouble with dating because I miscalibrate, overcompensate, make rude jokes, and don't know what its like to be romantic. All my friends seem to be going out together to do fun stuff, they have many girls in their group of friends, yet I seem to be never invited (yes I have hung out with some of them, but never get reciprocated). I only do daygame with people I met at various PUA forums and sometimes go out with them. I am trying to understand whether my mindset fucks with my ability to daygame, get with and date girls? How do I change my mindset?

I am a 20 year old virgin in College.