Approaching Techniques?

I don't have any experience with cold approaching girls, but I'd like to start trying. Would you guys ever advise on doing an approach by just addressing how awful I am at it? Something like "Hey, I don't do this very often, but I think you're cute, could I get your number and see if we mesh?" or something along those lines (advice needed on how I should word this). I just think it would be easier to just directly go for it rather than subjecting a girl to my poor game and completely killing the approach. I mean, once I get more comfortable with just straight up talking to a random girl I'd go with more "game" type approaches and be more natural, but like I said, right now I feel that addressing the awkwardness of my approach could be a good thing?

I saw some video posted here a couple weeks ago, and it said that you need to make a connection (get her to invest) for her to want to text you back, which I'm totally in agreement with, but if you can't get her to invest cause your game is so shit, would just getting some awkward laughs be better than just having some pure awkward kill me moments?

On another note, when approaching a girl, is it alright to give her your number? Like, I feel more comfortable if I just wrote my number down on a piece of paper, gave it to her and then if I hear back, great, but if not, then I know where she stands.

[–]Tommy_Tukyuk 3 points4 points5 points 9 years ago (8 children) | Copy Link

Practice makes perfect.

You’ll always miss 100% of the shots you don’t take

It really depends on the girl. Being direct will work on some girls but you will find it is not very effective and some women will feel objectified/offended and think you're shallow. However, this is still better than avoiding the opportunity and later regretting it.

Instead, you should try to (quickly) find some topic that you both relate to and try to get to know her as a person before you decide you like her:

Seen any good movies lately?
Books. If she's reading a book that you know of, you could make a quick comment about it, but don't force her to make conversation if she'd rather just read.
News. Normally I would avoid politics but I don't think that's possible right now.
Pets
Cool looking art / drawing nearby or she is working on.
Compliment what she's wearing, whether it be a cool graphic tee that you can relate to or a dress that looks astonishing on her. Apparently women appreciate being complimented on their fashion sense more than their physical attributes.
School
Work
Shopping at same store for [insert item]
Event you're both at
Weather
Hobbies
Sports
Games
Music
TV

Models: Attract Women Through Honesty by Mark Manson is an easy read for learning how to approach.

[–]Poopimus_Prime 9 years ago [recovered] (7 children) | Copy Link

[–]Tommy_Tukyuk 2 points3 points4 points 9 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link

[–]Poopimus_Prime 9 years ago [recovered] (5 children) | Copy Link

[–]Tommy_Tukyuk 9 years ago [recovered] (4 children) | Copy Link

I wouldn't say every girl would be, but they probably would have something to distract them (mindlessly browsing Reddit).

It doesn't necessarily have to be after classes end. You can make quick chit-chat in-between classes or even get to class early to meet some of the cute early birds (don't wake them up if they're napping).

Don't be afraid to approach groups. If you see a girl you like with her friends, be confident and try to initiate a conversation with the group. But eventually make it clear which one you're interested in and don't be afraid to ask her out. She will feel more comfortable with her friends to "protect" her and you will look a lot more confident.

If all else fails and the world is overrun by girls with earphones soldered in, ensure you are approaching them from the front where they see you coming. Coming from behind/side can startle them and make them feel uneasy. When you're in front of them, you could try giving them a wave and they might stop and confront you. You can try to make conversation from there and it might work out, it might not, you are basically distracting them from something so you are at a disadvantage but it's still better than not trying at all.

[–]Poopimus_Prime 9 years ago [recovered] (3 children) | Copy Link

I'm way too much of a pussy to do groups, LOL.

I really like that "don't approach from blind spots" tip, makes so much sense, just never thought of it. I'll try and get their attention with a wave.

I'm not actively/devoting time to finding girls, I just want to bring my game up to a level where it feels natural to start a conversation and lead it to a place where she's comfortable enough to give me her number and WANT to respond to my texts. I realise this is a large skill jump to what time I'm willing to put in, but I have so much on my plate that I think I can only afford to hit on girls when the opportunity is convenient, which may not be convenient for them, but like you said, better to at least try.

Also, what's your opinion on you giving them your number? Does that seem too weak? I just think it's so optimal cause if they are interested and text back, you know where they stand, but if you don't hear from them, then you know what's up. No time would be wasted, with shitty cold texts and whatnot. I suppose they could just give me their number and ignore me and it would work the same. Giving them my number also just seems less pushy/forceful than asking for their number, y'know?

[–]Tommy_Tukyuk 9 years ago [recovered] (2 children) | Copy Link

Try not to think about it like you're portraying sexual interest right away. Make it more about wanting to get to know these girls in a friendly manner you would when making male friends.

You don't need to devote time to "hit on girls," instead make it an integral part of your daily life to talk to strangers. You shouldn't necessarily limit this advice to girls you're attracted to. It would be good practice to talk to anyone.

Ask how your waiter/cashier is doing
Old lady reading the newspaper on the subway
Greet your neighbors in the morning
Introduce yourself to your friends' friends
Sit with strangers at lunch and make polite chatter.

We are social animals, but technology keeps making us less socially interactive. You need to push yourself to get out there.

Giving your number won't be as effective because most women expect you to initiate the conversation. You can give it a try but most attractive girls will already know how to deal with guys hitting on her and giving out her number, so don't worry about that. If you're not being creepy, she will be flattered that a good guy like you (I hope) is interested in her.

You can also ask to add her on Facebook (or whatever social media / IM client is relative to you). Some people prefer this because they're too shy to call and would be OK with texting first.

You will find this topic repeatedly if you Google "reddit approach women"

I also recommend reading that Models book. It covers most of the basics you want to know when approaching women. It is widely read in this community.

[–]Poopimus_Prime 9 years ago [recovered] (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]Tommy_Tukyuk2 points 9 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

Title	Approaching Techniques?
Author	Poopimus_Prime
Upvotes	6
Comments	9
Date	November 10, 2016 7:33 AM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/5c6ns4/approaching_techniques/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/approaching-techniques.1415296 https://theredarchive.com/post/1415296

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