Long ago a friend told me of the 3 second rule, and I’ve stuck with it for many many years with great success. If you don’t take action for something you want to do in 3 seconds, just don’t do it. I believe after 3 seconds, self-doubt, crippling anxiety and all these kinds of nasties start to manifest themselves, so in essence giving yourself less time to think and allow these thought to drown out the essence of the wonderful you, just go for it. It also eliminates having expectations of any kind, since you would have to consider the possible outcomes for things not going your way, and who can do that in 3 seconds? ;) typically I’m the guy that can easily sit down at table full of girls and strike up an entertaining conversation. I’ve never needed to think about these things until my friends pointed out how much they struggle, and I had to break down my approach in many ways. Also every interaction doesn’t lead to sealing the deal and it’s better thought of as comfort training. The more comfortable you are with these kinds of interactions the easier they become. I am a serial flirt not in a destructive way but because I love flirting and the general interaction. Whether it’s the cute cashier or the movie attendant or a random lady waiting for a train a bus. You’d be really surprised how many women appreciate the attention. And women appreciate being noticed for being women too. It all depends greatly on sincerity. And this leads to the main point of this post.

Maybe it’s my Aspergers talking, but I’ve had surprising encounters by doing seemingly ‘unexpected’ things and acting without thinking too much and going with what I feel. Like I’ve told countless women that they look amazing and left it at that, only to have them chase after me afterwards, because in that exact moment I had an experience of “oh my god, how beautiful” and I shared that quite honestly without expectations of anything. And what this translates to is authenticity. From my experience women are masters of spotting and sifting through bullshit. So no matter your ‘technique’ or ‘approach’ if you cannot execute it with sincerity you will have very limited and inconsistent successes. I’ve kinda been at the point for a very long time where dates, follow-ups, text-game etc etc aren’t really that important, and sincerity /authenticity trumps any technique you can have. If I want to sleep with someone I will communicate it at a time I feel is appropriate and I think my feelings are reciprocated. Which leads to another eternal problem: hOw dO yOu kNoW sHeS iNtO yOu? Lmao

Well how are you presenting yourself? Are you presenting yourself as a nice guy who’s afraid to be honest with himself with his desires which biologically are as strong (arguably even stronger)as the fight or flight mechanisms? Well then it will come across as weird if present yourself as a nice safe dude and then flip the switch randomly to asking to take her home after a few drinks and idle chit chat. If you present yourself honestly, your chances are getting what you want and making the girl happy. Because girls want sex just as much as you do, but there are plenty of dudes who just don’t treat woman right so they have to keep their guard up. Woman are always in a position in our society where they much judge whether a man is threat or not.

Being as honest as you can while respecting the woman’s dignity is the best thing you can do for yourself and the girl. Everyone wants to get laid right? So how do you do this?

So I wanna talk a little about expectations. Expectations are really really important. If your expectations are to lay a girl, the girl will sniff you out from before you’ve even opened your mouth. The key thing here is that it doesn’t matter. It’s about how safe she is in your hands. Girls want to get laid too. So if you’re going about hiding this, you are put immediately into the threat category and you might as-well have been handed a shovel because your simply digging yourself deeper. “But it’s not exactly like I can walk up to any woman I find attractive and just tell them I want sex” no no no lol. Don’t do that. I’ve been there and done that. That’s not good either, because you are in essence objectifying them to the maximum and they are 100% aware of it and while some girls appreciate this level of honesty, if you can deliver it respectfully, most will shut the door right there and then. So where is the balance?

Well the balance in my experience exists somewhere between allowing your natural desires to express themselves and practising reservation while remaining authentic to who you are as an individual and respecting the space and boundaries of the individual.

So let’s put this into a context, a girl smiles at you by the bar, you smile back as you notice how cute she is, you immediately share that you think she is really cute. Do you want to sleep with her? Probably, but you’ve taken an initial step in the right direction by making her aware that you perceive her in a attractive/potentially interested way from the get go. To try moves things further in this direction later would not be weird at all, as she clearly understands the type of interaction. The rest doesn’t really matter. You can be however you want, but be honest with your desires with yourself and communicate them to her and the beauty of flirting is exactly how you communicate your desire is completely up to you. This in essence is the ‘game’. As someone with ASD (Autism Spectrum Disorder) body language and subtly isn’t the easiest of thing for me to get, and I’ve managed to circumvent a lot of miscommunication struggles by being more open. I don’t tell people I have ASD I just ask questions when I feel out of my depth honestly. “Can I kiss you?” “Are you okay?” “Do you want me to take you home?” “Would you like to come home with me?” Sometimes when I’m not sure if a girl is into me, I’ve just asked them straight, and yes the answer is no sometimes. The key thing is that it isn’t no all the time. But the more times you comfortable in this kind of situation the easier it becomes and the easier it is to be yourself and have a better chance at a fulfilling encounter for you and your partner.

Plenty of the this advice in this sub focuses techniques and mentality and personally I don’t think it matters that much. Yes confidence matters and is important but not as much as people think. To give a different example, I’ve literally had many great encounters by being honest about how shy a girl way out my league is making me feel. I’m not a bad looking dude, but I’m not men’s health material, and most of time in my experience as someone who is both shy and confident at different times in different situations in both extremes, authenticity and genuine honesty is most widely appreciated by all woman.

Edit: Oh and another key thing is being comfortable with your sexuality. Like if you are uncomfortable with it, you’ll translate that to the girl. And if you are uncomfortable with it and still want to get laid, it’s better communicated. Like being vulnerable isn’t as scary as most guys tend to think it is, and according to many women, it’s a really sweet and endearing quality for a guy to have. Also the more you practise authenticity in your interactions the more confident you become in your own authenticity to the point you’ll figure out what and how you feel comfortable hitting on girls. Don’t be a weirdo that’s laying it in thick with shaky confidence and rehearsed techniques, rather be a weirdo thats proudly a weirdo, confidently a weirdo, knows in their soul that they’re a weirdo but that still likes girls and wants to get laid. There are plenty beautiful women who are this way too.

That’s all I have to say I wish you guys many successes there are seriously lots of lonely people in the world right now who wish just for one nights pleasure and joy to help ease their pain. Women like sex just as much as men, and plenty of women have an equally hard time finding fulfilling sexual encounters.