Alright alright alright. Part 3. We've made it this far. The next two parts will be focused on true outer-game and approaching. I've purposely made these first couple of lessons all about "inner game" so that your psychology is on-point before you ever even make your first approach.

How comfortable are you with strangers talking to you and making small talk with you out of the blue?

If you find it weird or awkward, chances are you'll find it weird and awkward when you try to talk to others too. We want to normalize the idea that talking to people out of the blue is a completely normal and acceptable thing to do. The more you do it or encourage it, the more normal it becomes in your head. That's when cold approaching starts to lose its scariness.

Here's part 3: https://youtu.be/ELC985zwI7k

Five key bullet points covered in today's video:

  1. A lot of guys who struggle to approach are very unapproachable themselves. Whenever someone talks to them out of the blue, they get weirded out OR don't express the same level of friendliness as the stranger. This further reinforces the fact that "approaching others" is weird -- and it stops you from ever being able to master cold approaching.
  2. As humans, we are masters at projecting our inner-world onto others. We think others think the same way we think. But they don't. Just because you think approaching others is difficult doesn't mean others will find it weird when you approach them.
  3. Like bullies (or like the movie Mean Girls), we are guilty of projecting our insecurities. Bullies act tough on the outside and make others insecure because they are insecure. The vibe you put out in the world is the vibe you get back. Hence, becoming more approachable yourself will make it easier to approach others later on.
  4. Anyone can go and approach. We all have a mouth and two feet and we aren't glued the ground. It's often our inner psychology that stops us or makes us anxious. This is why we've focused so much on inner game and attitude (but in the next two videos, we will actually focus on approaching).
  5. Aside from projecting, take the time to journal and think about what other anxieties YOU personally have that are holding you back. Ask WHY 3x. "Why am I afraid to talk to her?". Really take the time to introspect. Successful and advanced dating skills are as much about introspection as it is about approaching.

Here's the breakdown of the upcoming and past parts:

This took me about 9-12 months to master and can now confidently approach someone 80% of the time (yes, there are days and moments where I'll chicken out, save it for another time, etc).

It's a skill that's utterly important and valuable because it transfers to all aspects of life (business networking, social circle development, when starting a new job, etc).

I've never seen any pickup coach or dating guru talk about approaching the way I do. The most common form of advice is to do day-game cold-approach pickup for 1-3 hours a day.

After this series is complete, I intend on focusing on social circle development. Let me know if that's something that interests you!