Changing my mentality

loofyd · 2021-10-24T21:49:26+00:00

But the question remains, for many beginners

How did you create the circumstances for yourself to get in touch with so many girls ?

How exactly did you create the setup that you got enough abundant contact with so many women that you could make them chase you ?

And finally, how did you make them chase you ? What else did you improve about yourself

Would appreciate some answers

flux_rope · 2021-10-26T08:07:22+00:00

It's not enough to just stop trying to get girls, you need so many things in addition. You need to be doing something with your life that you at least mildly like, you need to like yourself, you need hobbies, interests, goals and dreams. These make you happy and therefore attractive, when my biggest goal in life was girls, my happiness hinged on them, I pressured the situation and they were repulsed by the obvious desperation. Plus I had nothing going in on life to talk about. So our conversations were kind of like an interview, I was trying to provoke then into talking, it was like an interrogation with a desired outcome rather than a casual conversation, a march to a destination rather than a meandering.

My examples of having interesting things in your life: I made music, went traveling, built a website, started a podcast, all to little or no success, but that didn't matter, when I talked about it, I lit up, so did they, I didn't know this at the time, I was just doing me. It made me happy and therfore attractive.

Also have an active social life, go to plenty of events, meeting girls can't be planned therefore you have to go to plenty of events expecting that most won't go anywhere but if you are at the events for the events themselves, it will allow you to go to plenty of events, enough to meet a few girls. You can't stop trying to meet girls if you go to the event to meet girls so go for other reasons, your own reasons.

Go to events that match your identity, I never got a girl in a club but did get a phone number at a pub quiz. Also go for girls that are like you, the numbers game failed for me because asking out mainstream girls at a mainstream event, failed for a nerd like me. Only go for girls you can actually hold a conversation with, if you struggle to chat to them, you should give up on them, this will preserve your self esteem. I missed out on great girls that I could chat to for hours and aimed for mainstream girls who had zero interest in me at all because they were cooler. Big mistake, the former girls respected me and I could see that in our conversations, the latter didn't, not because they were bad people but because I was trying to force two ill matched personalities together because I was playing a numbers game.

I transformed by focusing on internal goals, I practiced talking to people, worked on my banter, went to singles nights to get over nerves and since my goal wasn't phone numbers but self improvement, I was successful and was able to keep going. Plus I didn't need to pressure girls, I just wanted to make people laugh and feel good around me.

In a year, I went from a 28 year old who had never kissed a girl, to several first dates, to being in a relationship.

Title	Changing my mentality
Author	scoped12
Upvotes	1
Comments	5
Date	October 24, 2021 8:37 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/qf0myb/changing_my_mentality/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/changing-my-mentality.1273657 https://theredarchive.com/post/1273657

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