I want you to really let that sink in, because it’s deadly true, and the more I read on this sub, the more I see a group that either doesn’t know how to communicate or what they are even communicating. If you understand the how, why, and what of communication, you WILL improve. Period.

Let’s talk about the big one. Emotional communication and investment.

People, especially guys, are HORRIBLE at communicating in a way that touches someone emotionally, but it’s not impossible to learn and it makes ALL the difference in the world. The trick is this:

When you text, talk, or read anything, always ask “How does that feel, and why does it feel that way?”

This sounds easy, but it takes practice. You will come to understand that people will say one thing, they will mean another, and it will feel a third way. Honestly, the incongruity is unattractive. It makes someone seem untrustworthy which is the death sentence to attraction.

The BIGGEST place I see this mistake is on dating sites. You need to understand that EVERYTHING you send to someone or post on a dating site is put through the litmus test of “How does that make me feel?” So if it doesn’t have an emotional response in mind, don’t send it or post it. Just don’t.

If I’m a woman on a dating site and I receive a billion. “Hello, how are yous?” An hour.

How do they make me feel? They make me feel NOTHING. So I in turn give back nothing.

Now you might be saying “Okay, hot shot well what would you say to someone on a dating app or on text. How do you unlock an emotional response?”

Well... there is no canned line that will work forever. You need to think about the emotional response you want to generate and work backwards.

You might say “well I want her to like me.”

BUZZZZZzzzzzzz WRONG.

You don’t really. Not initially. You want her to feel something when she communicates with you and then you want her to decide for herself if she likes your feeling. You want her to feel intrigued, or challenged, heard, or seen, shocked, or amused and here’s the thing. It never stops, nor should it.

Through the whole relationship if you’re communicating in this way. You will see a difference. Not just with women, but with everyone in your life.

Understand that you and everyone are communicating all the time by what you say, how you act, the way you look, the way you dress, start to train yourself to listen to and understand those communications, and then observe them in yourself and learn to cultivate your own, and you’ll be golden.

If you can communicate better, you will be better.

Good luck.