Alright, I few issues relating to women and my own confidence. I've tried to make an effort with women recently since I've struggled with this for a while.

Sometimes, when a day/night goes well, I'll feel confident about it. But I feel like this confidence arises from the fact that these women are actually responding receptively to me -- it's like whatever happens is a big determiner of how I feel. Hence, when it goes badly, it rocks my confidence a lot. I feel I don't have that inner sense of confidence that is maintained regardless of the outcome. To get back to that level, I have to have a good day again.

There's a related issue though:

Little day game although I've done some night game and started a bit of tinder. Now, these are all baby steps, but even when I've let's say made out with a girl in a club, gotten her number, or gotten a date with a girl, there's always my mind telling me that this is a fluke. When I don't have the same success another day for example, this just validates my existing belief and I end up feeling even worse (as described above). I don't know how to take an unsuccessful day as acceptable when even successful days don't bring up just solely confident emotions. Then I end up overthinking a lot of this

I'm not sure what I'm supposed to do that could improve my situation. Many people say you should have things that make your life interesting and make you happy, but I do have plenty of other hobbies -- regularly play soccer, go to the gym, I'm a pianist. I travel a lot of the year. I have a really stable job. Lots of friends across the globe and the country who I regularly hang out with and speak with. These are all things I enjoy a lot. But they haven't really gotten me distracted from my negative feelings around women. Like, I know I feel confident in saying that I'm good at piano, look good and feel confident around my friends, but I feel there's a huge obstacle to overcome with women; I feel this dominates my life.

I've done a fair bit of meditation to get over my anxiety issues in the past, but I'm not sure how to approach that here

Thanks

(21 years old if that makes a difference)