Confused a bit

MrDownhillRacer · 2019-01-06T06:30:25+00:00

I have no idea, and I've also had this question for a long time. The very same action could be seen as needy/qualifying or as a DHV, depending on how it's framed.

I know somebody is going to come along and say, "it's all about intent, man! If you tell her you have a Lambo because you want her to like you, it's needy! But if you don't care if she likes you or not, it's a DHV!"

But making "intent" the deciding factor kind of ignores the fact that if you're practicing pickup and chatting up women in the first place, it's because you have the intent to meet women and want them to like you, so this whole idea of the guy who reads PUA material and goes out to practice pickup, but doesn't care about appealing to women, is self-contradictory. Of course you want to get a GF or get laid or have whatever form of relationship you're looking for. If you didn't, you wouldn't be on r/seduction. "DHV" wouldn't be a term or a strategy if it were not invoked and employed specifically for it's utility to getting people to like you.

I'm no expert myself, but personally, I try to stay away from DHVs that can come across as attempts to impress somebody. I use no DHVs that have to do with material possessions or wealth, mostly because it doesn't fit with my personality or values, and I honestly despise consipicious consumption.

DHVs seem more natual to me when you demonstrate something rather than just try to tell people about your accomplishments or how cool you are. For example, being funny is a DHV. Just make jokes and be clever, and you've demonstrated that you have value in your wit. And nobody will think of this as bragging or showing off, because you're not talking about how funny you are, you're just being funny.

Instead of having to tell her about every place you've travelled to in order to impress her, just come across as worldly enough to be able to make connections with the topics you end up talking about. Instead of saying "I'm really smart and well-travelled" or listing off trivia in an effort to look intelligent, you're just having a conversation, and nobody is going to think of you as a show-off for happening to be an engaging and well-informed speaker on whatever comes up. If you're not well-informed about the topic, don't pretend to be. Just ask smart questions that only a smart person would be curious about when encountering an area new to them.

Instead of telling her how you pal around with a lot of hip artist-types or club owners or whatever the fuck to impress her, let them come up naturally in conversation and stories you tell.

Of course, throughout all of this, you've still got the intent of impressing somebody so that they are more attracted to you, I don't believe we can pretend to erase that part of the equation (look, we want to get laid, that's why we're here, okay?). You're just doing it in a smarter, more effective way that doesn't make you come across as a jackass.

Title	Confused a bit
Author	PM_ME_UR_JETPACK
Upvotes	0
Comments	1
Date	January 6, 2019 2:21 AM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/ad199h/confused_a_bit/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/confused-a-bit.1460017 https://theredarchive.com/post/1460017

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