Couldn't approach, felt weird

bannedcanceled · 2024-05-20T04:50:10+00:00

Id hate myself too. Its not too often when a girls clearly wants you to go say hi in public. Ive been there too, pussied out in the same situation.

Next time it happens you will think of that moment and go for it. Also, keep walking by those stairs hopefully you see her again and then you had better say hi that time haha.

Legitimate-Win-101 · 2024-05-20T04:49:46+00:00

If you were going out with the intention of a cold approach it's important to 'warm up' by getting in a talkative state by literally talking to anyone past a greeting. If you weren't trying to have some 'canned openers' that you can pull out and use in those situations.

From_God_to_Dog · 2024-05-20T08:02:46+00:00

Don't beat urself up look at her as the girl who woke you up, and vow to be ready next time and the opportunity Will present itself, act this time

Dandys3107 · 2024-05-20T10:01:27+00:00

Still, that was some start. Western society also looks at cold approaching strangers as something unusual and often bothersome. That’s why you need to develop proper mindset and method first. Look her longer in the eyes, smile, come closer, say hi, figure out some laidback opener to start a small talk and gradually go for quick date/taking her number. It’s completely natural that you feel clueless when doing something for the first time. Keep going, learn from mistakes, test different methods.

TRTGymBro1 · 2024-05-20T10:37:24+00:00

I think it's time to buy a rope my friend. Don't know how you will ever be able to live with yourself after this.

DaygameCode · 2024-05-20T14:35:15+00:00

She was looking at me and saw me coming and I saw her sitting there. I immediately looked away and pretended to look at a shop near by.

You displayed submissive behavior here which is not attractive. Masculine behavior is supposed to be dominant in order to increase the sexual polarity with women and create attraction, so rather than "immediately looking away" like a scared kid, you should "just approach with a normal smile without even thinking about it, not losing eye contact.

As I neared the stairs, I looked at her again and she was looking at me again, then she looked away. Right as I crossed her, she looked at me again and I just awkwardly cracked a smile and nodded at her and then just walked past.

You are making it weird by behaving like a shy girl, rather than acting like a man. So it's not the situation that's weird. It's you who si being weird for not being in touch with your masculinity.

I psyched myself out and chickened out. It just felt weird to approach a total random stranger.

That's not the real problem. If you go with the frame (internal belief) that what you are doing is wrong, undesirable, shameful or socially reprehensible, then you will care about other people (like the receptionist) listening or seeing you and thus your vibe will probably be off, negative, apologetic, and defensive which will increase the likelihood of a bad reaction.

That is because you will be afraid they will intervene or publicly condemn you and call you out to stop what you are doing, which would be a challenging uncomfortable situation which you may not know how to handle.

If you go with a strong internal belief (frame) that what you are doing is perfectly normal, desirable, idealistic, respectful and polite, you will approach these women with so much conviction that they will be drawn to your frame, they will accept your internal belief that this is how things should happen, and thus react positively to your approach.

And even in the rare case where a woman might test you by calling you out on whether what you are doing is not the most normal thing expected, your strong conviction will make you pass the test with ease by simply talking to them like they are crazy for even questioning your approach.

You will simply say: “Wait, you guys don’t meet people in real life??? Wow, that’s sad. Where i come from it’s the most normal thing in the world” And because women are conditioned to accept other people’s culture, specially if you make them feel crazy or abnormal, they will agree with you and accept the approach.

What if she's just sitting there and doesn't want to be approached? What if she already has a guy and I'd make myself look like an idiot?

You overcome this by simply asking for consent. There is nothing weird about approaching a woman per se.

You: “Hey, I don’t wanna take your time, but I just wanted to tell you something real quick”

Now you wait for her to ask what did you want to tell me, which is an indirect way of allowing you to continue investing so then you say:

You: “The thing is i just saw you while i was shopping, and i was mesmerized with your style, and i don’t even normally do this but thought, “I have to meet this girl or I’ll regret it”… Is that cool with you?”

So now she could either reply with:

Her: Haha, yeah sure, nice to meet you.
You: “Hi, I’m Jake, nice to meet you, i wonder what brought you to this market today bla bla bla”

or if she said the boyfriend or whatever answer indicating that she is not interested, just say:

You: “Oh, you break my heart, anyways, just wanted to make your day a little bit better, nice to meet you”

Is there anything creepy about a dialogue like this? No. It is respectful, polite, respects her boundaries, doesn’t hide ulterior motives and it is in no way threatening.

Title	Couldn't approach, felt weird
Author	Losthuman2024
Upvotes	5
Comments	8
Date	May 20, 2024 3:12 AM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1cw5sdt/couldnt_approach_felt_weird/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/couldnt-approach-felt-weird.1518984 https://theredarchive.com/post/1518984

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