I woke up to an e-mail from the girl with a link to her Facebook, so I added her and sent a message about a late lunch. We settled on a time and place and met up.

Greeted with some pretty light kino and walked to the place to eat. We ate lunch and talked. I talked quite a bit more than her, mostly about my time here in Korea, my job, my future plans, etc... At one point, she said I had a very "unique, interesting" way of speaking. I told her our dessert was a surprise. I had a fucking amazing pecan tart, so we stopped by a bar and got a bottle of Young's Double Chocolate Stout to go with it. She literally said "Wow." Knowing how to pair beer with food is a crazy easy skill to learn and it is really impressive to people. Food and beer are kind of my thing.

Despite the light rain, I suggested a post-dessert walk through the park nearby. Outside, I grabbed her hand.

Her: Uh, what are you doing?

Me: Holding your hand.

Her: ... Why?

Me: Why not?

Hold the motherfucking line. Do not back down.

She seemed super awkward about it and agreed to let me hold her hand "this time" but not next time.

Her: I don't know what you think about me, but last night...

Me: I know. Last night was "unusual." I just think you're cute and I want to get to know you better.

Seemed like pretty routine ASD. She was a little forward the night before and she was drunk -- she doesn't go out often -- so I think she was feeling a little self-conscious.

At first the hand holding was a little mechanical. I would hold her whole hand and she just passively accepted it. If we broke the hold, I'd go back a moment or two later and she'd nervously laugh but not say anything against it or pull away. She brought up an ex-boyfriend. They dated for a year, and from her attitude I feel like they broke up rather recently, hence her whole reluctance about everything.

We walked to a coffee shop in the park and sat down at a table next to the river. I wasn't really able to kino at all because of the set up, but we just had a good conversation for about an hour to hour and a half. We talked about some pretty personal stuff. As it closed on 8 PM and about hour four of the date, I offered to walk her back to the nearest subway station. I could tell her attitude toward me had changed a bit. She wasn't as stiff and mechanical. She was giving me real genuine smiles and strong eye contact. She seemed like she was enjoying herself. When I initiated hand holding, I twined my fingers with hers and she didn't really comment on it.

The goodbye at the subway station was a little abrupt and awkward. She gave me the handshake. I didn't want to push her about it because it seemed like she had taken a step back and was "bracing" herself to put up a fight against something. I held her hand for a good 20 seconds as I told her that I had a good time and that I wanted to see her again soon, to which she agreed.

She went her way, and I went mine. As I was on the other side of the platform, I kind of followed her as she walked down the line. The station was pretty quiet and she walked all the way to the end, so we were the only ones on either side of the platforms. I waved goodbye and made some funny faces at her until her train pulled up and she left.

Now, this is my concern:

Obviously this ex is a big hurdle. She seems to be upset for some reason or the other. She had hinted last night that she knew foreign guys just wanted to use her, so I've got that working against me. She said he was a good guy, but she just didn't see herself marrying him. Either way, it seems like a rather serious relationship that must've ended somewhat recently. I'm not really sure how to proceed. I'd love for some advice. Here are the options, as I see them:

  • Give up on her and just drop contact. Definitely not an option.

  • Tell her I understand that she's not ready for a relationship and essentially wait it out in the Friend Zone. Hardly an exciting prospect.

  • Friend Zone her myself. It would be hard for me to do this, as it would be a complete flip-flop on the messages I've been sending her.

  • Present her with an ultimatum and get the inevitable rejection as fallout. Hardly ideal.

  • The best I can come up with is to just avoid the subject completely, continue to interact with her as I normally would any girl. Obviously it sounds the best, but I don't know what my chances of success are honestly. Even if I choose to ignore the subject, she certainly won't. I don't know how to approach it if she brings it up again.