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[–]thatguy2349 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
If it were me, I’d wait to message her. Firstly, don’t blame yourself or be embarrassed. You shot your shot and it didn’t necessarily go the way you wanted but that’s okay. The important part is building self respect and confidence. So be proud of what you did and learn from your mistakes.
Secondly, If you’re worried about looking needy, I’d wait at least a few days before I messaged her. When you do message her, I wouldn’t beat around the bush about asking her out. Don’t be super blunt but make your intentions clear. If she gives you a lukewarm answer or you don’t get a good feeling, then I’d trust my gut and move on. Don’t be rude, but set your boundaries early and respect yourself. If she doesn’t seem interested, respect her and yourself by moving on.
It’s really easy to overthink things when you are insecure about yourself. So it’s good to set boundaries and stick to them. There are other girls out there if she doesn’t seem interested. Don’t be embarrassed and shoot your shot. Hell by doing that you’ve done more than most guys.
[–]RealOkamy 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
Thanks for saying that i should be proud. I think that i have to acknowledge that and be proud too because it's the first girl i met irl after quitting online dating.
Texting 2/3 days later seems a good idea to me too. If i text her now she's prob gonna say: oh no, there's the needy guy that i kissed yesterday. Also if i wait i can post stories to interest her (like me in the gym flexing my abs :D, a bit cocky but it works)
[–]thatguy2349 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
You’re very welcome, I know it can be hard to be self confident. Especially when you’re going out of your comfort zone. Also a piece of advice, self worth comes from self respect. I use to have a mindset of doing things to impress women. Working out, dressing nicely, doing my hair, etc. what I’ve found is do that because it makes you feel good. If you like working out, if you’re proud that you’ve achieved a goal in your life, be happy for yourself. If you like dressing in good looking clothes that make you feel confident, do it for yourself. Just do things that make you feel good about you. Like I said, set your boundaries. If you reach out to her and she doesn’t seem interested, that’s fine. It doesn’t mean you’re not good enough or that she’s being rude. Just means you two aren’t the right fit. Be respectful and move on. The more you focus on respecting and loving yourself, the more confident you’ll feel. And the more confident you feel, the more attractive you’ll become. Just keep moving forward and take it step by step!
[–]RealOkamy 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
What you're saying is 100% true. I particularly find it difficult to not constantly blame myself for every little thing i do wrong.
I can think "Wow, respect! I came out of my confort zone, talked to a girl and kissed her. I should be proud".
But instead i think "You messed up again by being needy, she's gonna remember you like a fool"
[–]thatguy2349 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Yup, it all comes down to frame of mind. So just focus on you and don’t worry about her. Like I said, give it a few days and if she doesn’t seem interest, just move on.
[–]Outrageous_Let5095 -1 points0 points1 point 4 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
Don’t text you’re a sneaky link only for the moment.
[–]RealOkamy 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
What do you mean with sneaky link? Also should i never text her or maybe wait some days?
[–]Outrageous_Let5095 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
You’re a hidden play thing, for the moment she didn’t want you to meet her sister or their friend. I wouldn’t text because they probably talked about you because most likely than not you’re the weird dude from the bar. You can also message her to see if she responds because I ultimately don’t know either of you guys so it won’t hurt to try and actually finding out.
[–]RealOkamy 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Damn, that would be bad. I kinda disagree on the sister part though. She actually said if i wanted to meet her sister but i said no cause that would have been awkward. You may be right on the weird dude but i did nothing wrong or weird and she seemed so interested. Something happened when she came back to her sister
[–]nevertextgoodnight 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Bro I've done the same thing years ago. Kissed a girl at the bar then went over and started acting like her boyfriend or something. I didn't know what I was doing. She basically told me to leave
But the thing is it she has you on ig she could be messaging you if she wanted. Also take the hint she didn't give you her #
Good job getting a make out but I'd let it go and take this experience as a lesson in when to back off
Yeah man, i think that i'll take it as a lesson for next time. This was my first irl approach after 2 years of old so not that bad really. I just cringe everytime i think about what i did after the kiss. Maybe i'm gonna text her in 2/3 days and see what happens
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Did she give you her instagram voluntarily or did she hesitate? Tbh sounds like you made her feel uncomfortable, I don’t think it’s a good idea to text. Better luck next time!
She was a little uncomfortable but she gave it to me and followed back so idk. I know that It doesn't mean nothing but she could've stopped following me but instead she even saw my IG story a minute after posting
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I am not trying to push my narrative, but I do want to bring in alternative explanations. So, it’s possible she hasn’t unfollowed you simply because she’s non-confrontational. If so, she’d probably leave you on “read” if you texted her or after a few texts.
But I could be wrong and the situation could have been much more positive.
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[–]thatguy2349 1 point2 points3 points (4 children) | Copy Link
[–]RealOkamy 0 points1 point2 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]thatguy2349 0 points1 point2 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]RealOkamy 0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]thatguy2349 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Outrageous_Let5095 -1 points0 points1 point (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]RealOkamy 0 points1 point2 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]Outrageous_Let5095 0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]RealOkamy 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]nevertextgoodnight 0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]RealOkamy 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]RealOkamy 0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link