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[–]Devin1405 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
I'm in a similar scenario as you, op. I've been going to clubs/raves/dance environments for a few years, purely for the music. Just had my drinks and danced solo in my own world. Over the last year or so I've been going to smaller venues as well and have been very slowly meeting people.
A quick story of mine: last night I was at a dubstep show. A girl and her friend had their phone's flashlight pointed at the ground so I asked what they were looking for (earplugs) so I put mine on to help as a way to break down the stranger barrier. After they gave up I started conversing with one of them since she was standing next to me. Started by asking her name and we had a good convo for 5 or so minutes over the music. I wasn't trying to be that seductive and had no end goal, just wanted to start putting myself out there more and talk to strangers to get used to approaching people and overcome the feeling of awkwardness of holding me back. Eventually her and her friends went off to go the bathroom so I said I'd text her later.
I dipped out to the smoking area next for some fresh air, approached a girl and her friend and asked for a cigarette. We got talking for 5-10 minutes and they too asked for my Snap.
I hung outside still, eventually asked the guy standing next to me his name and we were talking a while. Ran into a buddy of mine I met last year and the three of us conversed a while. The guy I met asked if I had Insta, so we swapped handles.
My two cents: if they're putting their arms around you but not really receptive to answering your questions, they're could possibly be a bit fucked up and vibing and having a good time. But it was a good sign if she reciprocated. I've had similar happen to me at the club. If they're answering questions from the small talk that's a good sign, and if there's a smoking area at your venue you could always ask if she wants to step outside for some fresh air for a little bit since then you can converse better. Ask if they come there often or were at any other cool shows lately. If the conversation doesn't grow from there, find someone who does like to converse more -- you don't have to wait for a girl to put her arms around you to begin talking to someone. Just be yourself and show your genuine interest and passion for the music.
Good luck!
[–]raRCer123 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Thanks for your input, and I agree, it would have been ideal to take her out for a cigarette or something in this situation since it was a smaller club, with entrance close and easy (and allowed) to re enter, which is not the case usually.
I also think that if you genuinely enjoy the party and music, you have a very good mentality where you don't care much about what happens and you just have casual fun, and it also seems like it attracts people more. If the music is good, I'd never leave a rave disappointed, so even if I try to have something with a girl and it doesn't work out I won't care at the end. Which is why I'd recommend other people here do the same (find music that you actually enjoy and go to events where it's played)
[–]1hatethis 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Isolate and escalate. “Hey the music is too loud here let’s go outside for a bit” “Let’s go for a cigarette” “Let’s go sit down for a bit” “Let’s go somewhere else” take her somewhere where you can build a connection because the dance floor ain’t it
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[–]Devin1405 1 point2 points3 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]raRCer123 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]1hatethis 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link