Why it's hard to look in the eyes and talk

NotAHorribleBoss · 2021-04-21T13:14:48+00:00

Over investment. Eye contact shouldn't be hard, laugh and look at their eyes, smile and look at their eyes, look surprised and look at their eyes, feel shy and look at their eyes and you can look anywhere else but pause and look back at them. That's how we talk to anyone in general life. Don't overthink it. How do you talk to your family man?

jaildouaaa · 2021-04-21T13:30:49+00:00

Yeah why is it? I don't have that problem but I hate when people aren't able to look me in the eyee when we talk. Its like are you even talking to me or your talking to my arm/that pillow on the couch. Please explain sir!

letsgetlit2019 · 2021-04-21T14:15:46+00:00

It could be a lot of different things. Especially now with the pandemic, the logical reasons are simply too many. I prefer the emotional ones, they're much simpler.

Low self-esteem. Some people have self-esteem issues, maybe they feel like everyone's judging them about something, so they developed this as a coping mechanism. This especially applies to loved ones, some people will break eye contact because they don't want you to know how they're feeling, for example anxiety (when you're attractive/when you first meet/when the conversation stalls etc.) and embarrassment (when you compliment them). Some of the time, these people aren't used to being affirmed/are used to criticisms, (sometimes from childhood) so they tend to react like this. Most times, they're in their head, thinking about something.
Spending a lot of time outside of social environments. I find my ability to hold eye contact has diminished in the pandemic tbh, and I'm talking about three weeks in. Whereas at school (university), it was easier for me to hold eye contact. In this case, I find that eye contact gets easier the more I know someone/ the more time I've spent in a social situation. For example, after reading a book, I find that I can't then immediately engage in a deep conversation because of context-switching issues.
Simple communication. Some people tend to look away when certain topics are brought up, maybe a defensive tactic, but it's communication. Some people break eye contact when you bring up topics linked to their past, people or topics they don't like and things of that nature. Sometimes something comes up and you have to avert your eyes (like a phone call) or an idea (I catch myself briefly stopping eye contact when I get a light bulb moment). Sometimes, something heavy is weighing on the person's mind, like a big decision, the loss of a loved one, the state of their car (in a bad neighborhood) and other such things.

Bottom line, you can always ask about it or ask questions around it to gain more insight on the person's specific situation. It's almost always about them, especially if you've known them for a long period of time. At least that's my opinion, but I'm no professional.

Title	Why it's hard to look in the eyes and talk
Author	Scared-Fortune-1111
Upvotes	4
Comments	3
Date	April 21, 2021 1:05 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/mvf9gn/why_its_hard_to_look_in_the_eyes_and_talk/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/why-its-hard-to-look-in-the-eyes-and-talk.1285799 https://theredarchive.com/post/1285799

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