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[–]UnicornWIP 8 points9 points10 points 10 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I date actively because I am plating men (dating multiple men for several months before settling on a serious relationship). I date a lot off of Tinder and every once and a while guys will approach me in public (I make eye contact a lot with guys or use wingmen).
Most guys don't make it past the first date. The first date is very challenging. You shouldn't take rejection personally. A lot of the time you just aren't very compatible. I am looking for someone who makes me feel like I can be myself. Your goal in the first date is to: figure out what the other person is about and if YOU are interested in THEM. That will get you in the correct mindset to ask questions to get an idea of what they are like. Assume they are very interested in you. But do you want them? Be positive. Think of them as a potential friend or lover. Don't try and get them to see your value. Know your value. Show it instead of tell it (If you want to tell a girl you are indepdent, mention that you live on your own and own your car. If you want to tell a girl that you aren't clingy, say you work a lot right now or that you like to spend a lot of time hanging out with the guys.)
If you have never met before the first date is mostly to catfish check and make the girl feel safe around you. Coffee or drinks are good. Something spontaneous is good. Keep it short and leave her wanting more of you. Make it feel more like a fun audition / interview to date you. But have plenty of respect and geniunely want to impress her, just don't try too hard.
I hardly remember any of my good first dates. I remember the bad ones. Please brush your teeth and use mints. Poop breath is absolute fastest way to lose me and a lot of guys have it lol. The next few days can get more awkward or more comfortable. My favorite have always been to hang out with the guys friends or have him show up if my friends were out at a bar or something. Hanging out in a group lets people start feeling more like them self and less awkward. Invite them over to watch the UFC fights. Throw a small party like that. You can try to get them alone after when everyone leaves or just wait until the next date. You should meet before to vet and make sure the girl won't emberess you. This is also for the benefit of the girl because she knows that you think she will be ok around your friends.
[–]hrmiracle 4 points5 points6 points 10 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
I have an example of a first date that made the girls I told it about jelly. He made it like 5 dates in one... it was a lot of work, but with a logistical mind, doable. I think we met up at an indoor gokart track (we met through cars, so it worked) and he placed a bet on whoever won would have to buy dinner, then we went to an adult arcade which was a blast. Then to dinner, and then a scenic drive back (again - because cars) to play laser tag. I think the date was about 5 hours of non-stop fun and I was back at my car by 12.
My twin sister stole the idea when she finally decided to pursue a super shy guy... set up the "five dates in one" scenario and the dude was super impressed. 1- because dudes don't get taken out much and 2 - because OMG that would have to be the most fun first date.
TL;DR- - these "5 in 1" first dates make it seem insanely fun. Then you associate "utter blast" with that person - no one else can compare really. It's kind of like using psychology on them.
Followup - I've been dating that guy who did the "5 dates in 1" for 5 years and my twin has been with the guy she tried it on for 1. Obvy you can't keep up the "5-dates-in-1 scenario forever, but it certainly made him stand out from the "let's grab drinks" guys.
[–]ZephyrBluu 5 points6 points7 points 10 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I like the idea, but you are investing an awful lot into a person on a first date. I guess if you already know they aren't an asshole it would be fun, but I wouldn't want to be used on a date like that
[–]Kappa125 1 point2 points3 points 10 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
/r/askwomen
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[–]UnicornWIP 8 points9 points10 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]hrmiracle 4 points5 points6 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]ZephyrBluu 5 points6 points7 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Kappa125 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link