[deleted by user]

recyclablebanthas · 2019-05-02T04:15:57+00:00

1

I've gone out cold approaching 4 times now.

First off, if we realize that seduction, at its heart, is socializing, then cold approaching is actually REALLY fucking advanced. There's a reason that PUA coaches often push this "technique" to newbs; it's because it's fucking hard to do well if your basic social skills aren't established already.

Sending newbs to do cold approach to learn, is so hard that it makes their prospective clients feel like they must need a fucking expert to talk to girls.

You don't.

Imagine you're at some sort of party or gathering. At the right event, you're going to have people talking to you, provided you can make eye contact at least. And once you've established and realized you can hold a conversation with strangers, it gets easier.

And there are ways to place yourself in such situations, easily.

2

The best I've done is ask girls for directions, but haven't been able to express interest in a single approach so far.

First off, you don't express interest in WORDS. Just going up and starting a conversation is showing interest. But since you felt so insecure about it, the awkwardness that transmits to a girl would have counteracted the effect that you confidently striking up conversation, would have had.

A lot of guys fuss about whether they "express interest" as if they need to get sexual with a girl in conversation, or escalate to sex in the first meeting, or maybe tell her that they think she's beautiful (compliments are unnecessary and often shoot you in the foot). When really, it is known that we drive home the fact we're interested with actions, otherwise known as physical escalation.

Secondly, don't ask directions unless you're really lost. Some amount of the fakeness will come through whether you like it or not. Unless you teach yourself to become sociopathic, which I don't recommend.

Thirdly, if you want to be better at striking up conversations, you have to start from basic basic observation. Look at the world around you for the interesting and funny. Look at people's faces. Look for the emotions. Look at what they're doing. Then you have plenty to open people on. Information is power. When you draw someone's attention to stuff happening around them, stuff they might already be thinking about..... or you comment on them or what they're doing, then you're jumping into their world and relating to them immediately.

3

Keep cold-approaching if you want, but I suggest a shift in how you view it. It's not something best done in some special trip, like you go out just to look for girls. No.

Go about your daily life and just observe. Then drop a comment or a question (a hook) when you see something that strikes you. Some people will respond, some won't.

Either way, you're out there doing your own thing, not something based just on women. Have a life. If you make it about the girls only, then you'll risk communicating desperation.

4

I'd also suggest making a social life for yourself, if you don't have one already. There are a lot of groups that are organized around single people meeting each other.

Hash runs: Trail running + beer + fit people = win
Couchsurfing meets: The basic idea around these meets is: Hang with travelers and people who like to be around travelers. There are a lot of informal couchsurfing groups and some paid membership websites (like this one). But if you find couchsurfing groups on FB, it's free.
Social partner dancing: Salsa, Lindy Hop, West Coast Swing, Argentine Tango, just to name a few. You really can't go wrong. Learn something fun and have an excuse to be close to a girl in a fun and non-threatening way. (Just respect it as an activity & means to meet new people and work on self-improvement first, and place to meet women second.)
Download the Meet-up app. Scan for groups near you that you share an interest with.
Do a Facebook search for your city/town/area. Look under the Groups and Events tabs. Or you might search your city + some activity you're specifically interested in.

Not sure how to find these things? Reply and I can elaborate.

marcin_rajski · 2019-05-01T22:25:19+00:00

First, you DIDN'T fail since you've commited yourself to do cold approaching.

What you've gone through was gaining experience.

Statically, the more experience you get, the better results you have.

So, if today you didn't get any date / phone number / etc, this means you'll live up to the day in which you'll get like few numbers / dates in a row. That's mathematics, and that day will leave much bigger trace than the day, in which you didn't score anything.

And, if you want to pick up girls, you want to experience that day :D

Theplayasclub · 2019-05-01T22:40:05+00:00

If this were a Pokémon game - you’d just picked your starter and started training in low level grass. Keep putting in work an over time you get to ‘battle’ for your first badge - either way you got a long way to go, head down and keep going

Matt903859 · 2019-05-01T21:43:39+00:00

Read Models from Mark Manson and let the magic happen.

MBSCinsight · 2019-05-01T22:30:09+00:00

You are a beginner stop expecting Expert results overnight and you'll do just fine in due time. Pay some Dues and then you'll get to choose.

schijtaandezeaccount · 2019-05-01T21:52:47+00:00

Keep failing. You will succeed

Title	[deleted by user]
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	4
Comments	8
Date	May 1, 2019 9:39 PM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/bjmvna/gone_out_4_times_now_and_failed_every_time/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/deleted-by-user.1467822 https://theredarchive.com/post/1467822

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