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[–]macroxela 0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Think back on your previous experiences with women. Are the first ones you think about positive, negative or neutral? If they're mostly negative then your self-esteem has to do with how you frame your experiences. You have to reframe them in a positive manner (how you do it is up to you) or stop thinking about them and remember positive ones instead. If they're mostly neutral chances are you're suppressing your emotions which is unhealthy. Think back on them and identify any feelings you have, no matter how minor they are. I had similar issues since I always remembered all the rejections and maybes that never worked out. What I did was focus on positive experiences instead and trying to reframe my negative/neutral ones positively (if possible). It won't be possible with all of them but it'll help.
You mentioned you compare yourself to others. Don't do that. The grass always seems greener across the fence. It can be hard and it won't ever completely stop but you can reduce it significantly. Identify your strengths and repeat them to yourself. It may be something as simple as 'I used to get myself in a negative cycle but now I'm working on it. That's an improvement. A strength.' Pride yourself in your accomplishments, even the small ones. Savor the small victories. They add up to a much greater one. When you find yourself comparing to others think 'Good for them. I'll do my own thing.' or 'Nice idea. Maybe I should try it.' instead of 'Why don't I have that? Why is he/she better than me?' These sound like small things but they honestly make a big difference when repeated consistently over long periods of time.
[–]alldachzplz 0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
not gonna lie, i am no banner boy for big pharma but SSRIs have improved my personal life, work life, and most of all my dating life significantly. just something to consider, i couldn't/wouldn't approach a woman with confidence until i worked on my brain. Now i have no fear of rejection, go on plenty of dates/1ns and even approach women just to chat. totally changed my life.
[–]appleORorange -1 points0 points1 point 6 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Self esteem is not something YOU can build, contrary to what you think, its built by others having position actions towards what you do / actions. With regards dating, if you ask out 100 women and 100 say no, sure you can just ignore it and say your great, but your self esteem will be gone... the only way to build that up is to ask 100 women out and a higher than a random average to say yes, then you know what you do and say will work = high self esteem.
I partially disagree with that. Self esteem is something you build, or at least maintain. You can rely on others for it but that just leads to unhealthy habits. Of course you can only do so much since getting rejected 100 out of 100 times will hurt any healthy person. That's why you should do or change your approach.
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[–]macroxela 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]alldachzplz 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]appleORorange -1 points0 points1 point (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]macroxela 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link