This is my first post here, and i want to say thank you guys i found this page very useful.

So my story is : I was nearly 3 years with a girl on long distance relationship. It all started a month before i needed to go to college.

In that time i didnt have a girlfriend for a while and i hadnt sex for like a year. My self confidence was low and now i realise that whole my life i didnt love myself.

Im coming from Eastern Europe and i went to Austria on college. I didnt know language , and whole my life i had approaching anxiety. So i didnt approache. I have a fear from meeting new people because i didnt know the language very well and i thought that that gives me "low value"

First year was everything ok, than something started to change in my head. I become depressed and i didnt know the reason why, so i broke up. She put really effort to get me back to her , and when she stops i started to chase her and we were together again. (In this point i was addicted to my smartphone , and because of that i started to procrastinate.)

HUGE mistake. Shit just got worse, she took the control of me , i was feeling bad because i hurt her with a break up and i wanted to make things right with most STUPID THING , I was doing anything to please her , i was doing stuff that i dont like and was lying about doing things that i like (because she doesnt like my things)

Whenever she was in a bad moode or she was angry i tried to made things right, day after day after day. I thought that i can not function without her, because i could tell her my problems and she was doing whatever i wanted in sex, and i thought that she was my "best" friend. The whole relationship i was seeking approval from her for ex. Which haircut do you think is best for me ? Or what should i wear , and if she says that she doesnt like that i wouldn't do it.

We broke up once again and once again and once again , fucking magical circle. But the last time it was different , after so many years i felt ALIVE again i realised how much energy i have without her and how much i am awesome person, so i felt in love with myself for first time in my life. I forgot that i have hobbies , that i have ambitious to be the best in my science field and etc. She took so much energy from me that im in shock how is this possible , that one person can drain you completely.

My advice is to never have long distance relationship if you dont see yourself with that person for a year living in the same town.

Its fucking pointless.

So one week after that last breakup i met a girl which had something that i like , and she is German native speaker but i didnt have anxiety i approached and everything was ok. So we will have our first day by end of this week ( i wanted that to be faster but she had some family issues and she was not in town) I know that im not perfect in German , but she is not perfect in my language so what ? Because of that she is not more VALUABLE than ME.

So what is different now ? Im not looking just to get laid , i want to know her better , i want to see if she is good enough for my journey. I dont put girls in front of me anymore,and i dont fear of rejection. Im truely loving myself now and im doing what i want and when i want.

Im improving my life in a way to be the person that i always wanted to be.

My plans are to approach every time when i get a opportunity, i want to meet new poeple and i want to test them , because everyone doesnt deserve to be friend with me. The point is that man need to have standards.

Also cutting my bad habits helped me a lot.

So my advice to guys like me is to never settle. When you feel bad about your realationship END IT . Whole my life im trying not to hurt people , and i end hurting myself. Stop doing that.

Btw. At the end i realised that i dont even like this girl and all that attracted me was sex ( which was good but i had it every 3 months and that is NOT enough for a young male). She is not ambitious like me , she settle for less , she is procrastinator...list is endless.

So love yourself , be what you want to be , dont let anybody to controle you and cut the people in your life that arent good for you.

I know that i have mistakes in my writing , because i didnt use english for 2.5 years, i dont want to say sorry for my bad english , im not sorry. But im going to improve it, thats one of many goals which i have in future. :)

EDIT : Dont get me wrong , im aware that all was MY mistake ! Im only responsible here ! And i wrote this because i dont want that someone make the same mistake which i made.