I've noticed this for a long time, but since I've started actually paying attention, I've come to the conclusion that almost every attractive woman (HB7+) wants and has a male sidekick. You can call it a sidekick, a surrogate boyfriend, a chump...whatever. They want somebody who will dote on them, and give them all the benefits of a boyfriend without any of the commitment, sex, or drama.

What I haven't figured out, yet, is if they do this purposefully and maliciously, or if this is just the way they're wired. A few posts lately have been about fear of being friend-zoned or being an AFC.

Here are a few signs to be wary of:

  1. Did this girl recently get out of a relationship - or is she finally getting over a break up?
  2. Does this girl have a lot of friends that are male? Does she seem to pay more attention to you than the rest?
  3. Does this girl "hang out" with a lot of male friends...sometimes inviting you along and sometimes not?
  4. Does this girl argue with you - but eventually allow you - to pay for dinner / drinks / etc?
  5. Does this girl spend a lot of time texting you, emailing, you sharing her feelings, etc?
  6. Does this girl initiate kino with you but not allow it to escalate past making out? Does she then blame alcohol and apologize for confusing you?
  7. Do you feel like this girl is trying to make you jealous with all of the other guys she hangs with? Do you ever feel jealous?

There are tons more, but if you answered yes to more than one of the above, chances are you are well on your way to becoming a sidekick. The only thing you can really do is to start to draw lines and not compromise yourself. Do NOT put out any vibes of jealousy or anger or anything negative. If you do that, she'll turn up the guilt meter and you will likely apologize and fall back into AFC mode. This will also demonstrate lack of control. Stay happy, cheery, nice, and engaged...but unavailable.

It is your job to friendzone her first and the best way to do that is to create separation. Keep yourself busy, engage in hobbies, work more, ride a bike, go for runs, find other things to do that are legitimate reasons to create separation.

She will get confused, ask what's wrong, pretend to care about you when in reality, she just wants her surrogate boyfriend back. You are worth more than that and you wont be emotionally available to all of the other great women out there if you get oneitis with a HB that has you in sidekick mode.

tldr: Read #1 - 7 if more than one of these apply to you...you are about to become a sidekick instead of a lover. Change it or get out.