A thought from me on approach/escalation/following-up anxiety: while books and coaches tend to teach you 2 ways of dealing with anxiety (throwing you into the ocean or a gradual exposure to it), I've thought of a 3rd way of treating – by confronting it as a deep-rooted fear. This fear is within all of us, and although we can treat the symptom, it always has the tendency to rear its ugly head at the most inopportune time. A book I've read not too long ago that has shaped my thoughts and perspective on what makes some of us fearless (more prone to taking risks) and be successful than others. This book is by a familiar author who has been recommended on here before--Robert Greene.

While the 48 Laws of Power and the Art of Seduction are excellent books with powerful concepts, they touch the outer game and don't deal with the very psyche that determines our course of action. The 50th Law, on the other hand, hits the nail on head.

The premise of the 50th Law is that although our control over circumstances in life is fairly narrow, if we learn to overcome our fears from the inside out, we can exert so much free will and control over them that we can even create circumstances in our favor. This takes not only action, but an internal self-belief that is unshakable. You will not only overcome it, you will even seek out fearful situations to challenge yourself. The natural question is why do you need a book to tell you how to be fearless? You can just beat your chest, tell yourself to man up, or jiggle your balls. But even if that alone pushes you to actions, your anxiety will probably seep out and infect them. The 50th Law is not about seduction per se, but it provides a framework of which to approach life by. That will translate into a more fluid approach with women. Besides, what are women but another challenge that you welcome?

I'll provide my thoughts on how each of the concepts, divided into 11 chapters (including introduction), and apply to the seduction process.

Introduction chapter: The fear and anxieties in us are irrational. They came from destructive beliefs that were ingrained in us early on in life. We have learned to deal with fear in a passive way, but that only exacerbates the problem. Very few of us actually learn to convert from the passive and defensive mentality into an attacking mentality. Those that do, however, find endless opportunities and possibilities in the actions they take. Their bold spirit is infectious, causing others to bend to their will. This mentality often comes from hardship. To me, in the game, this hardship comes from rejections. That is not to say rejections make everybody better. Some cannot endure hardship at all. But if you decide you can, and you must, then you train your mind to always act boldly and accept those rejections. Eventually, the mind hardens and those rejections start bouncing off of you like your skin is made of Teflon. Then you are free to act as you like, expressing who you are. Ultimately, the most fearless thing you can do is to project yourself onto the world, without fear of judgment.

Note: the characteristics of a fearless person are: supreme boldness, unconventionality, fluidity, and a sense of urgency.

Chapter 1 See Things for What They Are - Intense Realism

This chapter refers to you accepting the reality that you have been avoiding. She is not the one. Most women are not compatible with you. You must accept and embrace these realities to be able to alter them. To do so, you must continually expose yourself to it. It will help you see more opportunities and see them in detail. You will learn to stop fantasizing about people and read them for who they really are, not how you want them to be. You will also see yourself as a 3rd person, which allows for introspection and course correction.

Chapter 2 Make Everything Your Own - Self-Reliance

You must develop your own style and game. Don't depend on others to help you, especially experts and forums. You yourself must take the necessary actions and deal with the consequences your way. You can be in groups and have wingmen, but it will ultimately be up to you to overcome your fears and take action.

Chapter 3 Turn Shit into Sugar – Opportunism

Life is full of twists and turns, and you may celebrate when it's up and bitch when it's down, but this is an immature way of developing your game. It forces you to sit around and wait for the opportunities to come. When things get really hard is when you should ratchet up your game. But more than this, you should find opportunities in the tiniest moments. Every situation, every action, every detail should be an opportunity to you.

Chapter 4 Keep Moving - Calculated Momentum

Don't try to micromanage everything that happens in a night. Allow your mood and emotions to adapt to whatever comes. Embrace the chaos and it will bring you opportunities.

As far as your overall game is concerned, you cannot get trapped into one way of thinking. It will make you think and act like a robot. Let your mind be free, let your emotions flow, and adapt to society's changes. This will allow you to penetrate many different social circles, as well as continuously rebrand yourself. Your game will seem natural and fresh.

Chapter 5 Know When to Be Bad – Aggression

People and events will conspire to sabotage you. Don't blame them for doing it, but take effective actions to protect your interests. Learn to confront them and be aggressive at the right moment. Establish your boundaries and punish those who cross it. Test other people's boundaries and know how to move them out of your way. Be a lion to the foxes and lambs. Do not respect groups of girls who form their own power base.

Chapter 6 Lead from the Front – Authority

Take authority over your own atmosphere and actions. Don't count on others to give you information, find it yourself. Act boldly. Seek to be in the field more often instead of behind a computer screen. Put yourself in vulnerable positions, it will train your mind to constantly be present. Be a role model for others and integrate well with them by being social.

Chapter 7 Know Your Environment from the Inside Out – Connection

You cannot simply enact your game without getting to know people. To do so, you have to connect to them on a personal, emotional level. By doing so, you will know your audience and demographics. They will also give you the right feedback in such a way that you don't allow it to affect your ego. Pay more attention to details so that you can be completely congruent and your calibrations will be effortless. Their emotions are your environment! Lose touch with this and you will lose them.

Chapter 8 Respect the Process – Mastery

As many coaches have said before, you must respect the process. You do so by being process-oriented and not outcome-oriented. Learn to accept the boredom that the process dictates, instead of chasing some outcome you can brag about. Learn to break the process down to pieces you can master individually. Develop and fine tune your intuitions as part of the game. Understand social norms and processes so that you can progress within them. Doing all this will give you something much more valuable than an HB10 - the ultimate skill level - predicting what comes next.

Chapter 9 Push Beyond Your Limits - Self-Belief

Nothing dictates your success in the game more than self-belief. To attain this, you must have a sense of purpose, a sense of destiny, and always be shooting higher than what you feel you deserve. Your sense of self-worth comes you and you alone. From this perspective, you will take more risks, while cultivate a sense of certainty and boldness about yourself.

Chapter 10 Confront Your Mortality - the Sublime

How many approaches, how many rejections, how many dates will it take to find the right one? Your days are limited. If you don't get through those approaches and rejections, you might not find that person. Moreover, you are only really alive and present when you feel a brush with death anyway, so if you want to experience life, then face the danger. To some, a rejection is pretty much worse than death. If that is the case, wouldn't you want to come face to face with it? At least you will be the most present, the most creative, the most exhilarated during those moments.

So you've read this far, what are the next steps? Well, go read this book if you haven't, first of all. But today is what I call Face Your Fear Friday. Learn to continually expose yourself to your own fear, rational or not. Do one thing at work or school that scares you. Then go out and do one thing with women that scares you. Good luck.