About Me: I’m 26 and have never been in a relationship. A month ago, I started salsa lessons—something I never thought I’d do—and it’s been a game-changer for my confidence. I’ve also taken a couple of swing dancing lessons.

Field Report: A friend invited me to a swing dancing social, but he canceled at the last minute. I went anyway and joined the beginner’s lesson beforehand to warm up. At the event, I danced with 4-5 women, and most told me I was pretty good. I think what helped the most, is that I focused on leading them confidently, even if I only knew the basics, which seemed to work.

During a break, I made eye contact with a few women but hesitated to ask them to dance. They were gorgeous, and I felt self-conscious about just knowing the basic steps. After a while, I decided to leave and check out a disco bar I’d been wanting to visit—a spot known for attracting an older crowd.

At the bar, I started dancing alone, just enjoying the music.

First Interaction: A woman kept bumping into me, clearly trying to get my attention. I spun her around and danced briefly, but she wasn’t my type and seemed drunk, so I let it go.

Second Interaction: Later, I approached a group of women in their 50s. One of them was clearly waiting for me to make a move, so I did. We danced for a few songs, and I took the lead—spinning her, moving her hands, switching between open and closed positions. She even said I was a great dancer.

I threw in a few playful compliments: You smell amazing; everyone is watching us, you are stealing the show; just follow my lead and enjoy the music.

We got closer and she even started grinding on my leg. It felt amazing. But her friends weren’t happy, probably jealous she was getting all the attention from a younger guy. They eventually pulled her away, and despite me asking her to stay and for her number, she said no while nervously laughing. It was frustrating because she was really into it while we danced, but I think she felt self-conscious about the age difference in front of her friends.

She left, and I noticed people watching me—men and women alike. It felt great, like I was the guy everyone noticed. A little later, I saw her dancing with someone else, which stung a bit, but I stayed on the floor. After some time, I didn’t see another good opportunity, so I called it a night. She also left with her friends.

Overall, the night was a confidence boost, and I learned a lot about putting myself out there. Just wanted to share this with you and encourage you to take dancing lessons if you want to boost your game.

Any comments are welcomed and if you know a bar in NYC that targets an older crowd, let me know :)