I am currently in college. I have been watching YouTube videos for the past few years on how to optimize a Tinder profile and escalate sexually. Using these tips, I was able to be quite successful, and I currently have a FWB of sorts. Since February this year, I have deleted and remade my Tinder at my home university three times. Every single time, this one girl and I (let's call her Jane) have matched and got into a decent volley with messages, but I have been ghosted every time start escalating to ask her to meet in person.

I have a rather high-up leadership position in my college's marching band. As the perspicacious person I am, while in the stands last week, I noticed that Jane was one of the cheerleaders. I went on Tinder that night and asked her if she was part of the squad. She replied, "yes." I then told her about my position with the marching band, to which she did not respond.

I am a shy person by nature, and only since COVID began have I been able to cultivate true social skills. I have spent all of my life academically accomplished, and that academic drive exacerbated existing my existing social anxiety and ineptitude until I had ample time to myself to lose weight and become more confident. I have always used Tinder as a crutch in order to get laid, having neither the wherewithal nor drive to approach in person. But I wanted to challenge myself. I wanted to go up to her knowing we thought of each other as attractive, and go for the number or propose to meet up. Last week this time, I would not have even fathomed doing such a thing. However, after a week of pumping myself up and formulating small conversation topics, I decided that I would push myself and go for it.

We had another football game today, and she was again there. There is a tunnel out of which the football team runs out at our stadium, and my band makes two lines around the exit to play for the football team as they run out. The cheer squad also joins us. She stood right in front of me at that time. I could have easily tapped her on the shoulder or said "hi" at that point, but I could not get the courage. I did not, and I spent the first half of the game disappointed in myself, knowing that I had to make a move sometime later. There was no way I could bypass such an opportunity.

After our halftime show, as my band precipitated back into the stands, the cheerleaders were on break. There Jane was, alone and on the by her bag getting a sip of water. This was my chance. I audibly muttered, "fuck it," to myself and proceeded forward. As I walked over with determination and incredulous poise, she waved at me. I was glad to see that she was familiar with me. Then I sat down next to her and we chatted briefly.

She didn't really make eye contact with me as we were conversing, and I didn't know what to make of this. I once hooked up with a girl who also didn't make much eye contact before we began taking our clothes off. Her tone of voice also sounded a bit dispirited. I carried myself quite well, unconsciously applying all of the techniques I'd learned from YouTube and Reddit and making pleasant conversation. Eventually, I tied in something she'd told me on Tinder to invite her to my "romantic single" and share a bottle of wine. In the same sentence, I asked for her number. She asked me in a rather dry tone if I could come back later and ask, since she had to cheer soon. I then thought for a second, and told her she could use my phone. That she did, and she put her number into my contact book. I then said "thank you, see you around," put my sunglasses back on, and returned to the stands with my band where I internally rejoiced in my successful first real-life approach. It feels a bit hackneyed to say that "everything happens for a reason," but I sincerely believed the world was preparing me for this moment, to push myself to new limits. And I was successful. I was ecstatic all evening, although quite delirious once the invigorating anxiety of actually approaching her subsided.

My enthusiasm of success slowly morphed into doubt, however. I texted her shortly after 4 pm. It is presently just before 11 pm, and I have not received any response. I am worried that I am being ghosted. Her tone of voice and disposition at the game reinforce this possibility, and I'm not sure what to make of the situation. It's possible that she's treating text like Tinder and taking a long time to respond. It's possible that she's busy studying for midterms. It's possible that she just gave me her number to be socially respectful (especially in front of her squad mates), but she's lost interest. I don't know how to feel anymore. Nonetheless, I am happy that I pushed myself and applied some of the skills I've been learning for a while! Hopefully there will be more successes to come.