First Semester Failure

there_will_be_coffee · 2014-12-31T05:44:09+00:00

You sound a lot like me my first semester (sophomore right now), trust me it gets better. College is a different beast and a lot of the advice here is not necessarily the transferable to this setting. The tip that is reoccurring on this sub that helped me a lot is to learn not to give a fuck. Its college, kids want to purge out all the partying, fun, and debauchery that you can't get away with as a real person. Learning not to give a fuck will help you be the fun no stress guy that people want to be around. People being clique-y at a party? Don't give a fuck, go up introduce yourself, start a conversation, be funny, be memorable. Sounds harder than it is.

Obviously the core here is confidence. which brings me to my next point: going greek. One of the best decisions that I made in college thus far. I rushed, was the witty funny, sarcastic kid that everyone liked being around. In terms of the party scene, being part of fraternity changes the game. When Friday night rolls around there are a few things that roll through my head. Firstly, there is a party with 60 of some of my best friends that are all there to help you get laid (maybe not if you're a pledge because fuck you pledge). Huge confidence boost when you literally know every guy at the party and can walk into any conversation naturally. Secondly, you have something to do, you are the guy with the plan. You meet a cute girl in class but don't know how to get her in a more social setting? Boom, you have a party to invite her to. There are plenty of more advantages to going greek, but these are the major points that stick out to me. Hope this helps bud, keep truckin.

nitemare129 · 2014-12-31T07:26:31+00:00

Hey man, I'm a junior in college right now, and I kind of get how you feel. My first semester in college was really rough and awkward still, but like other people have said, it definitely gets better from here! Just keep in mind that everybody there is new and fumbling around too. Don't think people are unfriendly or uninterested in talking to you, because chances are they're probably as unsure of themselves as you are sometimes too. So first off, don't sweat it.

If hooking up with as many girls as possible or having a lot of casual relationships with girls is your goal, my advice might not apply to you so much. But I'm a huge advocate for working on inner game and letting it work itself outward. You should be spending college figuring out what kind of person you are and what you want to do in life. This does mean things like classes and extracurriculars, but it also applies to your social life and what type of person you both want to be and feel most comfortable being. And honestly, that means you gotta be more than just the funny, witty, or sarcastic guy in a group. There are dozens of guys like that out there, so instead of trying to build up a persona, you should focus on building who you are as a person. I recommend reading Mark Manson's book Models, because that book will explain what I'm trying to say much better. It's all about trying to become a genuine person.

Along the way, becoming a genuine person also entails pursuing the girls that interest you and being open about that. And that also means fucking up and learning from your mistakes and then growing from that. If you want to pick up girls from parties, you need to know how to be the party wherever you go, and that comes from genuinely just having fun wherever you have to be. Don't try to imitate a personality type that you think attracts people; find the parts of your personality that do attract people, and make them a part of your everyday life. That'll make you attractive to girls, yes, but it'll also make you attractive to everybody you meet.

This is all kind of jumbled, sorry, but this was kind of where I went in college. I got everything from serious girlfriends to casual fwb out of this mentality, mostly because I wanted to experiment and try things out. Hope it helps you a bit!

MrDanielOcean · 2014-12-31T05:34:29+00:00

I am Indian and goto school in the South, but I think that is only a small hinderance I can get past.

Why is this a hindrance? I'm here in the south also. My roommates and some people from their frat (most of whom are Indian). They seem to love the fact that they have diverse culture to share with others. College is the place to explore and learn about new things!

Also Frat rush is happening next sem. I didn't really have any previous connections from HS to get into first semester top frat parties like most of the boys who are rushing those did.

You do you. What happened with the people with connects don't matter. Make your own contacts and move forward confidently!!

I was doing something that I think you may be doing as well. I was over thinking what I needed to do to meet more girls. Be yourself and be proud. You say you are funny and social, so there are always ways that those skills can transfer over.

Every semester you have a new schedule. You get the glorious opportunity to meet and network with a plethora of potential!

Tl;dr: Don't over think it and be yourself. You have skills that can get you places this coming semester.

DaygameCoach · 2014-12-31T01:07:01+00:00

Did you read all the help files on the side bar including the one about "learning pickup"? I also think #askseddit might be more appropriate for you: http://www.reddit.com/r/askseddit/.

Title	First Semester Failure
Author	Fumpy_
Upvotes	13
Comments	10
Date	December 30, 2014 8:24 PM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/2qui74/first_semester_failure/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/first-semester-failure.1381610 https://theredarchive.com/post/1381610

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