What to do:

Take a risk. The risk you take is irrelevant. I will explain why in the next section. It just has to feel uncomfortable enough that you don't want to do it.

Do you hate cold water? Take a cold shower and stay there til you start to enjoy it. Then stay a few minutes longer.

Do you hate talking to strangers? Phone up a friend you haven't talked to in a long time. Stay on the phone til you find the gold.

Terrified of skateboarding but own a board anyway? Spend 30 minutes breaking through your fear.

The object is to stay with the discomfort until it flips.

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Why it works:

The process above is designed to unlock flow state. The mode of existence where everything feels natural and easy. In order to do that, your brain needs to be in a challenge situation and you need to stay there long enough for your fight or flight response to calm down.

Once it has, you should experience an endorphin rush, among other things. The end result is that you will feel REALLY good and get an energy rush to boot.

This is the reason why cold approaching suddenly gets kinda fun after 2-3 sets - even if you hate it.

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Why is it important?

Continued exposure to risk will build your tolerance for discomfort and uncertainty. This is critical for all areas of life, not just dating.

Next, how you feel inside bleeds over into everything you do. How you hold yourself, the way you make eye contact, the way you text, speak, move and interact with the world.

Being in a great state means that you won't have to consciously remember all the rules about body language, tone, delivery, etc. - you will naturally and move as an attractive human.

TLDR: it will be more fun to be around you. And bottom line, attraction is all about how it feels to be around you.

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What's next?

Overall, your state is determined by the lifestyle you've designed and how you treat yourself. If you find yourself in a crap mood frequently, just learning how to trigger flow state won't resolve the broader issue. You need to be taking better care of yourself.

It is important, too, to understand that happiness isn't the goal. Happiness is fleeting. It's a moving target. You cannot *stay* happy because that's not the way the neurotransmitters that make you happy are designed to work.

Some of you may have found yourselves in positions where you *should* feel happy, but don't. You earn enough. You work out. You go to the gym. You live in a big city surrounded by hot women. Maybe you're dating an attractive women and STILL unhappy.

This is all normal, and to break out, you must begin understanding more about how the brain works around this.

If you're interested in expanding in that arena, I made a video about that. It's slower-paced and less punchy than this post, but it contains all I understand about this issue from a neuropsych perspective-> https://youtu.be/xez7QzFelVU