why do women keep your hopes up with their texts asking about your availability and expressing an intention to plan some sort of meet-up and give goodbye kisses and indicate that you're in the picture when you're actually not? it keeps hope alive and its subsequent super dangerous friend, expectation pretty decently planted in your mind. and to no avail. maybe the women don't want to reject you [because they hate to reject?] and don't actively plan on flaking/avoiding/ignoring -- but in their sub-conscious it's all going to come about that way. am I wrong to simply see women as unreliable and flaky? and not really believe what they say? (actually this is true of people largely too. other than your family and really close friends, who is really actually reliable?) maybe I'm just jaded but it seems like there's a lot more truth with this jaded point of view than not.

and anyways, isn't it better to have no hope? to have no expectation? to almost shrug off their words like it's some kind of joke. I don't mind getting rejected. rejection is fine. when it's clear and dry and uncertainty is not in the picture (perhaps avoidance and lack of total enthusiasm aren't strong enough triggers for me to just move on -- perhaps I should become more that way? but it's related to market. if you have no other prospect on the horizon, then you're going to get stuck with what may potentially be available. a market-induced self-restriction). I can take it in stride to a degree. though I get hung up when there's any shred of hope. one bit of hope is all you need to light your way to misery in the game.

it's when rejection is uncertain, when hope is alive, when you still have expectation in the heart that there's an issue. it's a terrible position to be in. and I'm wondering if you guys have some insight on how to specifically deal with the uncertain and girls' inclination to flake but still offer hope via their actions.

I think this kind of situation occurs to me when I'm sort of stuck on some girl and pursue her an extra step or one too many times when I should have just let her go. you can't really persuade someone to be enthused in you -- can you? what do you guys think about that? the funny thing is they sometimes reciprocate back. one chick I hooked up with a while back that I dug quite a bit was through that but then it now seems like I was just a rebound. haha, I wonder sometimes whether I wish that happened or not. now this new chick said she's down to meet up and is asking about tomorrow night. but I don't believe her sincerity. how to know when to just let it go and when to pursue more? how do you really just let it go? I think I caused myself a lot of pain by just not letting some girls go in the past. but in some ways, the experience is worth it. have to affirm your own path, whatever it may be.

I guess I know some of the solutions to my problems which I think some other members in the community might share from time to time. expand the market. move on from the ex-girl to the next girl. have prospects, focus on yourself, go to the gym, make music, whatever. just don't get hung up on girls. but I do, man. I'm just being honest. a lot of these posts make sense on an intellectual level. I'm just trying to be honest about that funky thing called feelings and on an existential level. I know I have much to learn, but I guess I've learned a lot in the last 6-8 months via dating and hooking up and this sub-reddit. eager to hear advice and insight. hope I provided some. be easy