Drove to the city.

Park my car. Get out. See cute Asian with a beanie.

So lately I've been going back to walking meditation. As I was walking up to her, it's like I was naturally relaxed enough that I could kind of "match" her energy.

I noticed when your very relaxed and you can do this, getting hooks is a lot easier. Sometimes, you can be so relaxed that when you approach a girl and she rejects you, it doesn't even look like rejection.

So I go up. She stops. We talk.

Walk with her for like 15 mins.

Keep trying to go for handhold but she's not having it. I keep squaring up. Bit of resistance but not a lot. Then we get to the restaurant she has to be at for some reason. Number close.

Keep walking. Do some approaches.

See a thick Spanish looking girl in Union. Go up. Stop her she's really receptive. She lets me get REALLY close. Try to bounce/number close/whatever but she keeps saying she got a bf. She must have said that like 10 times and each time I just switch the topic of conversation. She's still super close and letting me interlock my fingers and stuff. So I just get super close, brush her hair back and caress the back of her neck. Then she starts laughing.

Fuck. Whenever I do this and the girl is laughing in my experience it means she's not ready to make out yet. When you get sexual and get really close the best thing is if she just is quiet.

So I said "Stop laughing"

So then try to make out. No go. Kept plowing by switching the conversation topics because every 5 seconds she was like "I have to go" Kept plowing until she just walked away lol.

Do some more approaches.

Number closed two Asian chicks.

Then I see cute Spanish looking girl. Approach. Walk with. Hand hold. Instant date. Bounced to St. Marks which is close to where my car is. Problem was she would let me get really close and square up. Like every time we were walking and I would try to stop and square up(this works when girl is really down) she would turn to me.

I've realized I'm not selective enough about the girls who I go on instant dates with. Like I'm just always grateful that the girl is deciding more than 5 minutes with me, because for like first year and a half of game 99.99% my interactions were like 5 minutes tops. So I always had a sense of extreme gratitude.

But now I realized I have to screen more. Like try to square up with the girl and if she's not down with that move on to the next one until you find someone who's receptive to that.

So then I gamed a bit more in Union then went to Times Square to chill with some wings.

Then I drove home.

Getting closer to my goal.

So, it's been a pretty long road so far. Had to put in a lot of work to get to where I am in pickup. Didn't really have it easy.

But, I notice I'm attached to that image in my ego. "I was a slow learner. I never had it easy. I put in more work than everyone else" I know I need to get rid of this false image I have of myself because it's going to stop me from getting laid.

Nofap day 4: check. Almost relapsed two times though

Meditation: did it