This is a FR of 3 events on two different days. The first time was on my birthday at the student union of my university at a welcome back party nearly a week ago

It was my birthday and I went out for some birthday drinks with some friends one of us shares the same birthday. Exams are coming up and I really need to do well so I planned to have a few drinks and then go home. It didn’t really work out like that and I ended up at the student union. I was at a healthy level anyway.

During the night I was just having fun catching up with friends after Christmas and a bit of fun dancing. While I was out in the smoking area I saw a girl spit on the floor I saw her do it and she gave me a embarrassed smile, I took it as a reason to go over and strike up conversation. I started with a little joke about it saying it’s not very lady like and tried to keep the conversation fun.

We were talking for a minute and her friend comes over, usually in these situations I often back down and eject but I stuck around and kept talking with both of them, the original girl leaves and I’m just talking with the other girl. I decided to try and do what a girl told me once, I’ll put the advice at the bottom in italics.

I talk to her about her degree textiles design and try to lead the conversation a bit finding out what about it she likes and what she wants to do in the future. I found it quite fun and learnt about something new, I was making an effort not to just ask questions but say things that flowed better. The conversation died down a bit… things started to feel odd. She’s playing with the drink in her hands, my hands were effectively nowhere; our friends have moved on if I remember right I was looking her in the eyes and she had broken eye contact from when we were talking she was looking down. I freeze up like cougar out of top gun but without Maverick to talk me down. I eject. We go back inside dance for a little bit she finds her friends and I never see her again, on the plus side I’m not bummed about it but I should have kept assuming she was interested in me and got her number or carried through to the end.

At the end of the night I started talking to another girl. I don’t remember how we got talking but I remember calling her an arsehole as a joke. I saw her again when the student union closed and was talking to her outside. I wanted to go and thought I should make up for my earlier falter and told her I want her number because I want to go out with her some time. I won’t ask her out for at least three weeks but I’m glad I asked her anyway.

This even happened a few hours ago, I should really be asleep right now but it’s best to write this while it’s fresh.

I came back from the library knackered I was getting ready for an early night I have a lot of revision to do and need to get my sleeping plan in alignment. My housemates and their friends were all pre drinking before going to the union. While I’m making some tea and washing some blue berries one of the girls from the group who had been sending me some IOIs came over to talk saying she missed me and giving me a hug, she starts nicking my berries and then asks to use my bathroom. In the flat I live in we all have en suits. I let her in and receive a standing ovation from everyone still in the kitchen (happens any time they see me with a girl). Her flatmate comes in while she’s still on the toilet to see what happens and this other girl from the group pops in as well real quick to try and get some gossip. When she comes out the toilet we end up talking I show her my bow. I was stuck in two minds at this point one half says I should give it a go, the other is moaning about going to bed, playing a quick game and writing my targets for tomorrow. I ended up being put off by the first idea because I wasn't sure how to do it, if I was drunk I would just try something and the other things I was dead sober and she was acting as if she was borderline passing out. She also seems to have damaged one of the pipes on my radiator, which is now leaking a bit of water.

I’ve written all this and it turns out to be 820 words. I feel I've learnt a bit from the first part, I really need to keep going until I get an actual rejection even when the vibe gets odd but I’m now starting to think that might have been sexual tension.

The second part is a mystery but my flatmates just came back in and the rumour going round is she said she went down on me. Nor do I know where to take it from here.

I've also taken the initiative tonight to start recording my more charged interactions in a journal I got. I just didn't expect the first one to be tonight, I don't record them but a topic on here helped me realise why I should

The advice I was given was on a different forum in an anonymous AMA *This one is kinda fun to answer! Here's kinda what I do when I'm first flirting with a guy: Talk to him, ask him basic questions about who he is, what he does. Find out his passion through this. What, of those core things in his life, makes him the most excited. Then, relate to this. But also ask questions. Let's say you're talking to a musician that specializes in Baroque music, specifically violin. I personally don't know much about that, which makes this easier in some senses. I then ask her what makes it so distinct, why she loves it. People love talking about themselves. Make sure to ask them not only about their personal relation to a subject, but also details that you do not know when it comes to that subject, showing an interest in learning about their passion.

Let's say, on the other hand, that you're a scholar focusing on... I don't know, astrobiology, and you meet this smoking hot girl, who... gasp!... is also focussing on astrobiology. Talk about the subject, ask her how it relates to her. Don't just spout off your own knowledge and show off. This one seems easier, but it can actually be kinda easy to fuck up if you focus on yourself too much. You can tell her about what you're really passionate about in this area of study, just don't go on too long!

So, now you've got her mentally interested. Find silly excuses to touch her. Reach for something past her, "accidentally" touch her legs with yours, what have you. This'll get her excited. This is the step that ALWAYS works on me. Don't be too obvious about it at first, then maybe put your hand on her arm when making an exciting point. Once you think you've got it, put your hand somewhere more obvious, like her leg. If I let a guy put his hand on my leg, he's golden. Just escalate from there to kissing, or asking for her number if you're the more reserved type.*