TLDR: Had a date, ended up as a friend.

So I met this girl at 6 at this cheap dive bar in the city. I came there a few minutes early to secure a seat. Before the date I went to the bathroom and put on some deodorant and brushed my teeth. I carry a backpack so that is where I store it. As I went out I saw her come out of the other bathroom. I led her to the bar and we sat down.

She is Japanese and is learning English. She came to the States 3 weeks ago. She knows hardly anyone except her housemate and a few friends. I had met her at the mall where she was reading a book. I chatted her up and got her Facebook, as because of international issues her phone didn't work.

At the bar we spoke for over an hour. She ordered a beer and I ordered a hard cider. We talked about everything, from Japanese culture to family to living in America. She turned out to be a basketball player and very much into sports. She liked talking with me because she said it practiced her English and she didn't have any local friends to practice with. At the end I paid for the date even though she offered (good sign!). It ended costing me $14 including the tip, which is fine in my books.

When we walked outside I went for the handhold. At that point she burst out that she only wanted to be friends and that she was leaving at the end of January anyway and that she wanted to focus on studying English.

Surprisingly enough, I wasn't as devastated as I expected. It was a great date, or friend date, and while I wish I could have sex with her, having her as a friend really doesn't bother me. Sure I am disappointed, but I am not devastated.

Lesson Learned: Go for the handhold. Go for kino. See how she reacts. Calibrate accordingly.

This reminds me of when I went on a similar date with a girl, when I went to hold her hand to inspect her rings she shockingly pulled it back. She later told me she wanted only a platonic friendship.