First post here. A little background - I was a 26 year old virgin. Took a workshop in EU in 2005, and shortly after found a pretty awesome girl, she was a virgin too. I am still with her, I am now 34. I try to sarge when I am away from home, my home ground is in LA.

Had a chance to get out of LA and visit Austin. Awesome place. Went out two nights in a row, after about 6 month break. I am in LTR for 7 years, but every time I am out of my usual element I must go out and sarge. It was a rough experience this time.

FR 01 — Tough crowd.

Austin day 1.

Set 01 Two girls standing by the tree. I cross the street directly at them. One is chubby, one is cute, but drunk as hell. I make fun of her for holding onto a tree, and tell her to grab on with both hands. Ask for directions to club X. Its a warmup set. Fat girl is really into giving me directions.

Me: So what are you two up to now? Chubby: We’re going home! Me: Take care of your friend, she doesn’t know where she is. HB Cute: Yes I do! Chubby: This is my boyfriend!

Some dude just pulled up in a car behind me.

Me: Hi, boyfriend! BF: Hi honey!

We laugh. I roll on.

Set 02 HB9 is walking down the street. I approach direct in front of her. Me: Hey! Hold on! Where is club X? HB9: not far, you’re almost there. Gets close to me. HB9: See, this corner right there. Me: Did you just leave that place? HB9: Yeah. Me: Why? HB9: I am too drunk, and I got work tomorrow. Me: Oh, you’re a responsible type, whats your name? HB9: I am V. Me: Cool, I am VTVGLM. We shake hands, I hold on a bit longer. Me: Sorry, my hands are cold. HB9: Its ok, my hands were cold an hour ago too! Me: V, you’re kinda cute, let me get your number, I’ll text you some time. HB9: No, let me get your number! Takes my number, calls me, we have short playful fake phone convo looking at each other.

I let her go. Should have attempted to make out here. I am rusty, its been a while since I had an opportunity to go out.

Set 03 At the club. Approach couple of really hot cougars at the bar. Mid 30's. HB8 is taller than me (how the fuck is this possible, I tower over everyone in the bar). Tall one gives me fuck you look. Short HB9 in a red dress IOI’s but seems to need her friends approval.

Me: Are you her guardian tonight? HB Tall: Why because I am tall? ME: No, because you’re bossy. HB Tall: Oh this is such a typical thing to say.

Some dude approaches from behind HB9 and looks visibly uncomfortable. Must be married couple of something, convo goes nowhere. Drunk HB9 in a red dress seems intrigued but her cunty friend is pulling her away. I need to get better at this type of set. At the time didn't seem worth the effort.

Rest of the night Approach some young shy black HB7 by the stage. We chat a bit about the band, but I am having trouble getting any common ground with her. I go upstairs over the stage.

HB5, kinda cute black chubby, is staring at me like a hungry wolf. I wish I could send this girl to a crossfit gym and have her find me in 6 months. She is with some old weird dude. I enjoy the concert next to them. She eventually opens me, we chat, she introduces herself and her friend. She wants to dance, I don’t really dance or care to dance with her and her creepy old friend.

As I leave the bar after enjoying the concert. HB10 is standing by herself at the entrance watching concert from afar. Looks at me, I maintain eye contact, she looks down. AA, I don’t open. This one is going to bother me for a while. This girl was fucking perfect, and seemed shy not indifferent.

close from earlier didn’t message me back the next day.

Austin, day 2.

Going out alone, in spite of my horoscope telling me to take it easy until my usual energy is back. My back is fucking killing me, in a gnawing, dull kind of way. A combination of overdoing yoga, and soft hotel mattress. This guy may be onto something. I don’t know how I’d look at myself in the mirror if I didn’t take advantage of this opportunity to go out, regardless of outcome.

Rolling around 6th street. Mild approach anxiety, I let a lot of sets pass me by. Go into some bar, nothing really going on yet its only 11pm and raining.

Set 01 Get my usual non-alcoholic drink that looks like booze. Go upstairs — couple of drunk guys are trying to pick up two HB6s. I go up to the balcony next to them and look at the street below. Don’t feel like dealing with the two drunks, I go back downstairs, check out the back. Literally nothing going on, some girl is surrounded by 5 dudes who all seem to know each other. I chill for a few. Then go back upstairs to see if drunks have left.

They left. Two girls are chatting with each other, drunks are at a table next to them 2 feet away. Figure this is my warmup set to chip away at AA. I approach. HB Brunette gives me a fuck off look as I get closer.

Me: Hi, I am the next drunk idiot that is going to talk to you. HB Blond: What? HB Brunette laughs. HB blonde IOI’s. Me: Just kidding, I am not drunk. HB Blond: What did he say? I may have annunciation problems coupled with my thick accent.

I make small talk I cannot remember, and ask if I can join them.

HB Brunette: No. I already told the other guys (points at drunks) no, so they would feel bad. Me: Its alright, if they come after you I’ll protect you. (Drunks can hear me). HB Brunette: Laughs. This is girl night out. Me: I love girls nights out!

I plow through couple more of her shittests and tell her that I am getting tired and I am going to sit down. Pull up a chair and sit down like a boss. Brunette is visibly uneasy. I am not really interested in either of them, this is just a warmup set. HB3 at next table with the drunks touches me and tells me I am cute. “Thx, sweetie, maybe later.”

HB Blond: What did she say? Me: She wants to make out.

We joke about my drink being non-alcoholic. Get into a fairly stimulating conversation about alcohol processing in the body HB Brunette is into some nerdy health stuff. Talk about them and what they do. I get them laughing and fully engaged into the convo. They ask questions about me, conversation turns friendly. My mind is working well. I am warmed up, AA is more under control.

They make fun of one of the drunks behind me “He is so awkward”. That dude is good looking, but is acting like a fool because he is drunk.

HB Brunette is clever, not drunk, and seems to be watching out for her friend as I gently shift my attention to HB Blond. She suggests they should finish their drinks and go. I am ready to move on with my night and I thank them for lovely conversation and see a look of disappointment in both their faces as they sense I am leaving.

Me: See, this wasn't awkward smile. HB Brunette sarcastic: Oh it was so awkward!

We laugh, I leave.

Set 02 4 people, one guy, 3 girls, none cute. I chat them up a bit about local bars. Girls kino, dude looks unhappy and challenged. I talk to him a bit, then work my way out of this dead bar.

Set 03 Loud dance club, half empty. As I walk in 3 HB8's are leaving. I get in their way.

Me: You can’t leave. HB8: Why? Me: Because I just got here. HB8 laughs, her two friends drag her past me.

Should have grabbed her hand and insisted on a 2 minute convo here like RSD Max does, but didn’t occur to me at the time.

Set 04 Inside. Get another non-alcoholic drink, notice a set of 8 girls at the other end of the bar. Go in straight line to them. HB8 to HB4. Super young, college kids.

Me loud: HI! They all look at me. Say hi back. Me: Girls night out? HB7: Yeah! Me: What are you guys celebrating? HB7: Finals are over! Me: Awesome, what are you studying.

Goes downhill from here. Boring ass chit chat on my part. Its polite but they are disinterested. I fail to draw IOI’s. Its unusual for me to have this reaction and I am a bit weirded out by my state. We chat a bit more, I exit to go to the bathroom, leave my drink at the central divider in the bar.

My face looks like a solemn stature in the mirror. Emotionless, cold, tired, weird. Just odd. Back hurts a bit. Dull, gnawing pain.

Go back out.

Set 05 There is a 2 set by my drink, HB 6, HB 5. HB 6 has tits of thunder. Her best feature. As I approach she makes emotional gesture to her friend and almost hits me with her hand.

Me: Dude, will you at least let me say something offensive before you slap me, damn girl! They bust out laughing. Me: Who are you? HB6: I am Blah! Who are you? Me: I am VTVGLM. We shake hands. I somehow turn convo boring. Nothing interesting comes to mind. Something is really off tonight. I cannot concentrate. They lose interest, we go our separate ways. Whatever, next.

Set 06 Chat up some HB6 standing by the club entrance. She is so fucking drunk she can’t talk. Move on.

Set 07 Two girls standing by the fence indoors - HB7 — cute 30 something black girl, and her fat UG3. Me: Are you two trying to escape? They laugh loud. We chat a bit. Me: I am gonna go inside and talk to you. Go inside. They are behind a table. I move the table away, approach. Very direct body language, perhaps too direct. We chat, I kino her, she is friendly but breaks off kino early. I ignore her fat friend — amateur mistake, I never do this. I am literally feel semi retarded, I have no idea why. Lower back hurts.

Set goes nowhere, turns dead and she is not responsive. I thank them for convo — move on.

Set 08 Another bar. Get another non-alcoholic drink. The other bar tender Asian HB9 comes over and asks me what I got. I tell her OJ with ice and water. She takes a straw and sips some. I was not sure what to make of this at the moment — but I think it wasn’t some hostess behavior, this was an IOI. Should have attempted something here, but alas, she is a bartender. I’ve never picked up a bartender.

Two HB9's are to my left, in a group of girls. I get up and walk over. Me: Hi! HB9: We are getting drinks with the bar owner! Turns her back. Ugh. Not sure how to follow up here. How do I compete with free drinks and a bar owner?

Set 09 Other end of the bar, HB10 is dancing with her HB5 friend. I attempt to open with “I hate you girls”, goes nowhere. She wants to dance, not to talk.

Set 10, 11 Talked to some HB6, followed by two set.

I honestly cannot fucking remember anything but my goddamn back pain and my unusual lack of charisma and charm. Dafuq is going on today.

Set 12 3 Young girls by ATM. HB 6, 7, 9. Me: Are you a big fan of a movie Beetlejuice? She is wearing a striped dress. HB9: Yeah! HB7: She was in that movie! Me: Oh you’re being sarcastic, that is so cute. HB6 attempts to talk to me, but is to drunk to understand or say anything.

My back is fucking killing me. I chat with them for a bit, and move on sensing that with my total fucking lack of any charm today — I am getting nowhere and my fucking back is killing me.

Go chill on a couch at a semi empty lounge listening to some local band, chat with some guys, and go back to hotel.

Although this night was the worst for me in a long time, I’ve definitely observed how little I cared about rejections and how quickly AA goes away once you just keep approaching. Today I realized — state is a real tangible thing that is independent of your ability to attract or be charming and witty. That realization alone is worth a lot to me.

I am gonna take it easy in Yoga from now on. I think lack of sleep, and pain from overworked lower back was affecting something.

Feedback welcome.