Seddit, you've changed my life. A million thanks to you fine gentlemen for giving me the tools I needed to stop being an angry lonely dyke and start being the life of the fucking party. What follows is a not-so-riveting tale of shit tests passed, marathon sex and the courage to be the most awesome fucker around. I've got a long way to go but I woke up this morning after an incredible weekend feeling like a fucking boss and I wanted to share.

Friday I have plans with Jen. Hb6 in a relationship who's flirted with me on and off for a few years. Before we go out, she always cranks up the flirting via text. Thursday I see the pattern emerge again. I ask her if her relationship is an open one and she says no. I stop flirting at that point and you can tell she wants my attention which I'm not giving her. Friday rolls around and I'm not even thinking of kino or girlfriend destroying. I'm just going to go out and have an outstanding night with a friend whom I haven't seen in a few months. When we go out to diner, we keep it friendly with updates on each others lives. After diner we go get coffee while we decide on what movie we're going to see. I am showing zero romantic interest which is unlike my former beta self although keeping things fun and positive. On the drive to the movie, with no prompting she blurts out that her relationship is more complicated then she first led me to believe. She starts kino my hand. I pull away and say "Look Jen, I like you but you're sending mixed signals. I don't know what you're looking for but I'm only looking for fun. I don't want a relationship, I don't want to be responsible for the destruction of your current relationship but I'd be lying if I said I wasn't interested in sleeping with you. If you want to have sex with me, we can make arrangements but know that as I like you as a person, I can't offer you anything more then sex and friendship." The honesty kills. We skip the movie and get a hotel less then 20 minutes later. (ProTip: For those in precarious living situations I recommend the Priceline app on your smart phone. I was able to find a hotel in my city and bid $20 under cost. I got my room for $40. The guy at the front desk upgraded us to a suite with a hot tub too. The entire process took 20 minutes from deciding to have sex to purchasing the room to taking her cloths off.) We proceed to fuck for hours. It was awesome.

Ethically, I feel good about this as I have not led her on in any way. She's an adult who can make her own choices. I have not sent any mixed signals about what I want or where I stand. Beta me would have settled for a make out in the car and I would have walked away feeling guilty about her relationships status and blah blah blah. Seddit me was completely honest about my needs and intentions I double checked that she was absolutely sure she wanted to do this and F closed like a boss.

Fast forward to Saturday night. I look fly as fuck. I have lost weight from working out like crazy. I've started dressing like a dyke MFA prototype and my confidence levels are shooting through the roof.

To add to the subplot I received 4 messages from different women on okcupid that day. I have a minimalist profile and I take my time in responding. I haven't even updated my pictures yet from my weight loss. This is basically irrelevant to the story but it helped my state of mind. I feel very desirable.

My best friend and I hit the bar for a gay night and her circle of lesbians friends shows up. I find myself in the largest lesbian group of friends in the joint. Boom: insane social proof. I'm talking to everyone, meeting new people within the group. My best friend sees this HB9 all alone and starts talking about how hot she is. I agree that she is in fact very hot.

Cue Internal monologue: Sally-mother-fucking-Wicked if you don't get the fuck over there and talk to that women, you will bring shame upon yourself, your family and your beloved subreddit.

I say to my best friend "Excuse me, ill be right back."

Gentlemen, I walked over to the hottest girl in the bar like it wasn't a big deal and proceed to have a conversation. Thank you to the guys who posted about outcome independence.

Me: Hey what are you drinking? Her: A margarita. Me: This one night I was in a country called Slyvania which is right next to Italy and I had like, 3 of those. All I remember is flashbacks of the color of the room. Needless to say I learned my margarita lesson. Her: laughing Me: What's your name? I'm sallywicked. (I shake her hand) Her: Sandy. Have you been here before?

Holy Shit that was easy! We talked for a bit more but not about anything that awesome so I said I didn't want to be rude to my friends, it was great talking to her - and went back to my table. I figured if she wanted to talk more, she'd find me.

I go back to my table.

Bestfriend in hilarious casual tone: So...I noticed something just now. Me: Oh yeah? What's that? Bestfriend: You just walking over and talking to that incredibly hot women. Me: oh, Sandy? Yeah, she was nice. Kinda boring though. Bestfriend: ...

I feel amazing. Before I would have just sat there and looked at Sandy like some sort of creeper. I would have been pissed at her for not realizing I was an awesome person. Basically, mad about shit that didn't even have anything to do with her. Now, I realize that I am better then the rest of the awkward dykes because I have confidence to say hello and engage HBs. You know who's not angry anymore? Me. In fact, I took her off whatever pedestal a former version of myself would have put her on and found out that she wasn't even that interesting.

The rest of the night I made 5 more cold approaches with the hottest girls at the bar using different opens and just having regular conversations. I was just trying to meet people and have a good time. It was a total success. I met a lot of cool women.

We were about to bounce to a new bar when I thought I'd try to get a number from one chick I was talking to. It was more because I wanted a reward for my night of solid cold approaches, not because I was that interested in her to be honest. Her tone for some reason is really pissed off though.

Me: I'd kick myself if I didn't ask for your number. Her: For what purpose? Me: To go get coffee or drinks sometime. Her: (Points to girl next to her.) This is my girlfriend! Me: You're breakin' my heart, darlin'! I'm just kidding. It was awesome talking to you, I'm about to bounce so I hope you guys have a great night!

I go to the bar and pay my tab.

I don't know why she was pissed that I was asking for her number. Is that a bitch shield or something? Up until I asked for her number everything was friendly and cool. Why would anyone be angry about being found attractive or being asked out? But you know what? I didn't give a fuck and didn't really even think about it after we left.

Anyway, capped the night off feeling outstanding. I didn't get any numbers but I wasn't trying to either. I had a great time.