[FR] Bad Pull | seduction

My wing and I went out on Friday and Saturday. Friday was pretty lame, we didn't do many approaches. I'm still shaking off the rust on my cold approach game from my recent breakup.

Before going out on Saturday I figured out why I had such bad Approach Anxiety: I wasn't warming up properly and expected myself to use high-energy openers off the bat. For some reason, I expected to hand of God every set or go in super high-energy. I decided I'd tone shit down and go in more "friendly and cool".

Saturday night comes and my wing and I drive up to a small nearby city. My second set hooked pretty hard and both of the girls in the 2-set were on me constantly, laughing, asking questions, and dancing with me. I made the decision of which girl I was going to go for and started screening for logistics (asking questions such as who'd you come with, what part of town do you live in, what are your plans for the evening, do you have roommates, etc).

I monopolized the attention of both girls since they weren't too into my wing and after a round of darts and some dancing, venue switched and switched again shortly after that. We ended up at a country bar where I danced extensively with my girl. We made out on the dance floor and she was telling me things like "Don't leave me" throughout the night. I knew I'd pull, but didn't know exactly how since my wing wasn't getting anywhere with the friend, only he has a car since we rode together, and I lived 35 minutes away.

The friend was totally on my side so I made the choice to go home with the girls via Uber while my wing drove back to our town. This turned out to be the wrong choice. Once I got the girls' place, a roommate of theirs threw a little tantrum about not running things by her. Apparently they all have an agreement to discuss and agree on bringing guys around.

Apparently this stressed my girl out and long story short, I got absolutely no where in bed that night or in the morning. She also gave me a speech about not wanting to have sex before a relationship. That was cute.

Lessons learned: Screen harder for girls who don't have hangups about sex. Also, drive separately from your wing when possible to minimize friction of the pull and avoid Uber costs.

[–]muddymudd5 points 10 years ago [recovered] (5 children) | Copy Link

[–]iConsu 2 points3 points4 points 10 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link

A very good question and a question I had to ask myself a few times. There were a couple red flags:

She was 23, yet claimed only to have slept with 6 people. The fact that she'd discuss this with me could be interpreted a number of ways, but I think she may have subtly been trying to hint that she doesn't put out often. This could mean one of two things, either that I'm special for her wanting to go home with me that night, or that it would take work for me to fuck her. It turned out to be the latter.
She just didn't give me a strong vibe of wanting to fuck me. Her kisses were mostly closed lipped, her grinding was kind of soft, and she seemed more emotionally needy than genuinely horny. It's a subtle difference but I could sense it. I decided to stay in anyways because I thought there was still a chance and wanted the reference experience to know for sure.
The pull situation invited bullshit to come up to cock block me. When you pull, you need to try your very hardest to do it on your terms so that you can minimize obstacles and excuses. I failed to do that and paid the price.

[–]muddymudd3 points 10 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

Totally understandable view from the hindsight perspective. If I may chime in from my recent experience (I also posted a FR about 3 days ago)

I pulled this girl and experienced the same thing: enticing body language, yet closed lipped kisses. Soft interest, not horny need. It did seem like this girl, like yours, had only slept with about a few people. Like you, I had also been provided with a ride. Throughout the date we were having "fun" but not being able to bail on my own terms did bring my anxiety back. This girl was, sadly, 20. But 23? Seems weird that she was so...pent up? About bringing you home? So...unwilling to do it, I guess? Did she just not expect that "rule" to be in effect when she got home? Or do you think she knowingly brought you home (in order to shit test you) and wouldn't have sex with you, yet try to screen you for boyfriend material?

Good report. Yours coupled with my first hand experience the other day really puts these signs into perspective for me.

[–]Bigjohnthug 1 point2 points3 points 10 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

[–]iConsu 0 points1 point2 points 10 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

How did it come up?

A lot of girls lie, yes, but I could tell she wasn't. Her friend was telling about some guy she was dating and was going about guy problems (she had feelings for a guy and was trying to go home with him, even flat out saying that she wasn't interested in my friend and ignoring him all night).

This led to my girl's friend telling me she had been with 3 guys. My girl was asking me, "How many girls have you been with?" She kept pressing me for an answer, but I told her I only tell that to people I'm close with. She said, "I'll tell you how many guys I've been with if you tell me how many girls you've been with." I replied, "I don't care how many guys you've been with." Shortly after she volunteered that she had been with six guys. Obviously trying for my approval. Never tell girls how many women you slept with.

[–]Bigjohnthug 0 points1 point2 points 10 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Title	[FR] Bad Pull
Author	iConsu
Upvotes	9
Comments	6
Date	January 25, 2016 9:29 PM UTC (10 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/42nun9/fr_bad_pull/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/fr-bad-pull.1401292 https://theredarchive.com/post/1401292

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