TL;DR: the less you care about the outcome of a date, approach, or whatever thing, the more in control, confident, relaxed, and genuine you will be.

I was keeping a huge list of dating tips for myself in my inbox to reference periodically. Yesterday I read a thread1 where someone mentioned "outcome independence" as the cure for oneitis.

OH MAN it helped so much on a first date last night (which ended with her texting, unprompted, that she wanted to see me again). I had not been that relaxed on a date in a long time. I felt so calm and so much like myself.

This is what I have at the top of my "dating tips" email to myself, and it almost makes the couple dozen other tips seem trivial:

"Independence is key. Don't chase; let them do their thing. Either way I win. If they don't step up, then they weren't relationship material anyway. If they do, then I remain in control."

http://www.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/r57vs/eckhart_tolles_advice_on_scarcity_and_oneitis/