Ok so I ran out of condoms and decided to cop a family-sized box at Costco with the cash card I got from making some ridiculous returns earlier this week. (My membership expired recently) But I know they sell those rotisserie chickens at a loss to bring people in, so you'd be a fool not to buy one; you literally make money with every chicken purchased.

So there I was walking to the checkout aisles when I notice one of the cashiers, an aubourn hair HB8 with a tight ass and a short line. So I stroll over with my two purchases. She starts swiping and when she gets to the condoms she looks at me with a furrowed brow and asks if I needed a box. I look her straight in the eye and say, "yes, and don't ask me what I'm gonna do with that chicken." She keels over laughing and while she's down I say "but seriously can I get your number?" I look back to the elderly couple behind me in line, for a sanity check I ask, "do you think she'll give it to me?" They aren't very encouraging, and just sort of stand there gawking--but hey they were old. Might as well take it in while they can. Anyway, she wrote her # on the back of my receipt, I said "awesome." And that was that.