There seemed to be some interest in the outcome of the conversation in this thread about my texting methods with a girl I met on OKC. I got a lot of criticism about my "lack of game" in texting, but as I stated, I'm not trying to build lots of sexual attraction through text. Not that it can't work, just not what I do. Either way, I think a lot of the main principles apply:

  • Don't let shit tests force you to bow to her pressure. Meet her shit tests with a witty comment.

  • Don't feel like you have to text back immediately. Girls do not take priority over your day-to-day life.

  • Know when to quit when you're ahead. If you've got a date set up, don't waste time with chit chat.

Question my methods all you want, but we set up a date and she didn't flake. That's all I wanted to accomplish with my texting, and I did. On to the actual date:

We met at 7 PM outside a mall. She was actually a couple minutes early and let me know through text. We had already established it'd be a pretty quick date. I'm too busy with work and class during the week for much more, and she was meeting a friend that was coming to visit later that night. Because her friend was coming and I live near the bus terminal, she came to me, and I said "Okay, cool, I hope you like soup, because I know a great place." Guys gave me shit for asking her where to have dinner, but when she lives in a place I've never been to, I don't have a lot of choice. Come to my neighborhood and I know all the places.

It was a normal sit down dinner, so we were sitting across from the table, which made kino pretty impossible. Instead, I built tension by holding her gaze. Several times there would be a pause in the conversation and I'd just look straight into her eyes, until she looked away or broke the silence. Nothing says confidence like being able to hold a gaze without breaking away first.

Another way I improved on the first date was my conversation. Admittedly, when I meet people for the first time, I tend to over-talk. I want to impress them and end up dominating a conversation. She gave me a hard time about it, so I made sure I asked her more questions, especially asking about personal stuff or the "why" of how something happened.

After dinner, she had to meet a friend which happened to be in the same direction I was going for a class, so we walked together. When we got to where I was going, I stopped and told her I was leaving. She seemed surprised, so I just said "What? Did you think I was walking you to your friends place? This is where I'm going." She laughed. She went in for an unsolicited hug and asked me where I would be on the weekend and doing what, so I just said I'd be around and she could text me if she was bored, then we parted ways.

In terms of an [FR] it's not too exciting. No K-close or F-close. Either way, regardless of how little "text game" I have, I'm going to assume she's interested. Not just because I should, but no girl is going to agree to a date, then actually go on it if she doesn't really want to. I believe the reason she plays it so cool is due to a long history of always having a boyfriend, and she wants to be single for awhile. That doesn't mean we can't have our own fun.

Last thing of note, I'm living abroad, and gaming abroad is a wildly different beast than doing it at home. I've had two other "just friends" girls before, one turned in to a girl I dated for 5 months and another is a current FB. Here in Korea, a lot of girls will play it slow for awhile before they are willing to jump into bed, and public displays of affection are pretty much never done, so it's not very realistic to expect even a goodnight kiss at the end of a dinner. Adapt to your surroundings and act accordingly.