I've posted a few threads in here mostly about learning basic PUA stuff. I feel like I've made quite a bit of progress and last night I decided to go sarging for the first time. Wore a nice shirt and tie to a college bar and had my wing with me.

Off to a good Start

I show up to the bar/small club I frequent pretty often with my wing around 11. We're both looking snazzy as shit. There's a small line to get in but there are heating lamps so its not too bad. I pregamed a bit so I'm feeling warm anyway. In line two HB7's step behind us. I turn around and introduce myself and my wing, complain about the ridiculously cold weather and we make some small talk. I read you should open the first set you see. So I did. The girls were nice but not super interested. Luckily the line didn't take long. My wing and I know a door guy so when he sees us we chat with him for a minute or two and we get in free. things are looking up

We walk in and it's decently crowded. The P:V ratio definitely wasn't in our favor but in my college town it never really is. We grab a drink and my wing runs into a volleyball player he knows. He introduces me, I stand with my arms to my side confidently and say something witty whenever it seems appropriate. She smiles when I talk. I'm feeling good. She says she has to get back to her friends and it was nice meeting me.

Point of Incitement

We decide to do a lap around the bar to see whatsup. The music is blaring. We're walking around and pass by a small private room that's usually empty unless you have a big group. Inside I recognize a roommate of an ex. Then another roommate and finally, dancing on top of the table is my ex. (We aren't on speaking terms- she cheated on me long story short) This shakes me pretty bad. I haven't seen her since we ended things and I've worked hard to completely disassociate myself from her. My wing doesn't know exactly what happened between us but he knows who she is. So we keep walking. I immediately get another drink.

Too Much for Me

We hang out around the bar and run into some guy friends I recognize. They're not super exciting bros so I eventually walk away. As I'm walking away I notice someone who looks familiar. A second later I realize who it is. The girl I totally had one-itis for. I invited her out the day before but she said she was busy and doesn't have a fake so she cant get in (she's 20, I'm 22). She's there with another guy and they walk off. My wing notices her as well.

I know I shouldn't let it get to me. I should be more alpha and not seek a single woman's affections. But fuck I really like the girl. By now it's almost 1. Theres no point in switching venues since it's almost bar close already. We walk around one more time. I suggest going to the dance floor and see what will happen. I might as well have fun. We get near the floor and my wing looks over and sees my crush grinding on another guy. He says yea you don't want to dance trust me. So we keep walking. I see a cute HB8.5 in a booth with her HB7 friend getting hit on by a dorky guy. HB8.5 looks at me. I hold her eye contact. I start to walk over and I freeze. I can't help it but I feel like an unwanted piece of shit.

Pouring salt in my own Wound

5 minutes later I walk outside, angry at the world and even angrier at myself for letting other people have control over how I'm feeling. My HB6.5 somewhat hook up buddy texts me. I ask if she needs a ride. I'm still upset and decently drunk and like an idiot I text instead of call. I misread what she had texted. She said she would like a ride if I could spend the night at her place. I thought it said as long as I DON'T spend the night. (we have a bit of history and she's denied me in a similar situation). So like a 12 year old school girl I passively aggressively say some stupid shit and go home.

I know what I did wrong. I made a ton of mistakes. And I should just forget it happened and give no fucks. But I can't. This night really rattled me. Both girls I recognize do not generally go to this bar. I've taken them both to it once but beyond that they've said they weren't a big fan. I feel like everything was working against me and I have no clue how to block out influences like that. It was like a perfect storm of terrible karma