[FR] First opening (post seddit), blown oppurtunity, need critiquing.

intellectualwit · 2012-02-28T16:27:01+00:00

I suggest going in stronger with the introduction. Don't sit at the table and wait for her to notice you before you go in. Go in BEFORE she notices you.

Fuck up #1: Definitely a fuck up. Not only may it come off as you calling her a slut, more importantly you are telling her that she is something that many guys must desire (implying she has a lot of value). Telling/suggesting a woman has a lot of value early in an interaction is bad. To build attraction the woman must feel like shes qualifying to YOUR standards. By saying she must be sought after implies you seek after her too / she's good enough (or possibly too good/ has too much value) for you. Remember, YOU are the giver of value. She must be seeking YOUR approval, don't give it to her that easily, make her qualify to your standards first.

Fuck up #2: Unless you said that she was making you feel bad in an obvious joking way you're doing the same thing as fuck up #1. She shouldn't affect your mood. She is just another woman in a bar that you're talking to, you do this ALL the time. She has done nothing to gain enough value to affect your mood because you're Mr.Awesome value giver, your value never gets taken (This doesn't necessarily have to be true, but it should be the vibe that she gets from you).

Fuck up #3: She told you that she will be home alone that night, this is an ioi. Also she chose to stay with YOU (great job on the kinoing) which is another ioi. The fuck up comes in when you bring her to your friend. You had her isolated and should have continued to keep her that way and pull her from the club.

Don't be to hard on yourself, it was your first time out as an aspiring PUA, you'll learn quick. Like anything it just takes some reps. So remember:

1) Go in stronger with your introduction, try to be heard before/the same time you're seen.

2) Don't give women value before they qualify to YOUR standards.

3) You must have an "abundance" mindset (this will help you not do #2). Every interaction you have with women should make her feel that you talk to women / flirt with women all the time.

4) Isolation!!! 1 on 1 interactions are almost always better than group interactions, so once you have her 1 on 1 keep her there.

5) CLOSE! K-close, #-close, whatever, Just go for the close ALWAYS. The worst thing that will happen is she will deny and you will be in the exact same situation that you would be if you didn't attempt it. There's nothing to lose by closing, but so much to gain.

Good luck!

PrincePUA · 2012-02-28T13:26:25+00:00

Well first off HB 6.5/7 - seriously what does that even mean? like a 6.75 or a 0.92857.... xD - ANYWAY

Pretty brave opening to a girl on her phone, normally I find they'll give just 1 word responses and go straight back on the phone

Fuck up #1 was a bad statement, the only real positive response your going to get is 'I'm single' and even then thats not something most girls will say, also its not really that flattering, could easily be mis-interpreted as "Oh I bet your the kind of girl who sleeps around with LOADS of guys"

Personally if I found out they're married I don't go any further down the rabbit hole, bad-marriage + getting drunk = sob story + messy results

On the whole you handled well, when she told you about those girls checking you out I think it would have been 'fun' to have asked her wing for you or just go over and meet them - any expierience is positive!

2012-02-28T18:33:38+00:00

I'm no great PUA, but I know enough about people to say what some of your questions and WTF???s mean.

2 girls glancing back at you at the same time meant that another of their group had scoped you earlier and had been talking about you recently or even at that moment. They were looking to see who was being talked about. So someone in that group had at least noticed you. And yes, a glance is all it takes to check someone out. Do you not see the same thing happen in your own groups of friends?

So it sounds like she was:

(D) Spot on

Also a woman talking about her kids/soon to be ex-husband in itself means nothing, they're a major part of her life. In terms of hookup possibility it's probably a baggage confessional. I wouldn't avoid talking about it, it shows you're not actually interested in her as a person or that you're not cool with it. Talking about it doesn't mean you have to marry her next, though I would have steered the conversation off the husband and onto the kids. But kept the underlying kino/flirting going.

In a way if you can't talk to her about that stuff, you probably shouldn't hook up with her. Leave her better than you found her and all that.

Personally, and with only a bit of experience of it, I think a woman in that scenario is in one of two mind states, totally disinterested in sex, flirting and hooking up because they're in emotional turmoil or they want some emotion free sex. If you were getting the vibes it honestly sounded like the latter. She even went out of her way to tell you he wasn't there.

PrincePUA is right though, it can be messy, though from what you've written I don't think it would have been. Unless she suddenly started slamming back the drinks when her friends left.

Finally, taking off the ring is a massive deal for a lot of people. It's ultimately an admission of failure, finally closing that door and can take a long time. It doesn't mean they're unavailable though.

How old are you? It might be worth trying to talk with a greater variety of people generally to understand how they tick. It sounds like you've not had close female friends (gut feel on your post without any judgement!). I've seen people suggest reading women's magazines a bit (or something like pinterest.com). I don't know if that works, but worth a try. It's a whole other world.

Title	[FR] First opening (post seddit), blown oppurtunity, need critiquing.
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	9
Comments	3
Date	February 28, 2012 9:21 AM UTC (14 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/q9ibg/fr_first_opening_post_seddit_blown_oppurtunity/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/fr-first-opening-post-seddit-blown-oppurtunity.1329092 https://theredarchive.com/post/1329092

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