Went out sarging with a guy who is also new to game. It was about 21:30 when we came downtown, and there weren’t many people in bars and clubs. In the first half hour, we were just walking around talking about game, not really approaching any one. Finally, we went into an almost empty bar and sat behind a table. At the bar sat blond HB7 and brunette HB5. Without rationalising two much and discussing, we said basically “Let’s go.”. In the beginning of the night I had a pretty good mindset. I wasn’t overanalysing too much before approaching and basically had my little “plan” in mind: Approach. From there I tried to just improvise. Keep in mind this is my first time ever cold approaching in public. These are the “best” sets of the night. There were others too, but they were pretty bad. My mind either was blank, I talked too fast, bad body language and/or too slow to act.

First set of the night

I went to the blonde one and opened with something like “Hey, you guys look bored.”. She smiled while she was talking and said that they aren’t bored. Then we shook hands and exchanged our names. After this I was just asking basic questions like what their plans are for tonight, what they do, where are they from etc. After about 5-7 minutes, my wing and me decided to eject. He wasn’t able to build any rapport with the brunette, and the conversation with me and blondie kind of died too. We said our good byes and left to another bar/club.

What could I do better?

  • At times I talked a little faster than I should, which also led to me talking more than them. I have to control better my tone, pace and not being “afraid” of the silence. Challenge them to speak too.

  • My frame was weak from the get-go. I was basically just a nice guy chatting them up. I couldn’t escalate or make the conversation more interesting. You could also say we ejected too early.

Second set, first #-close

Two HB6 were sitting outside. I didn’t plan on approaching them, but when we passed them the wing turned around and walked right to them (good!). Suddenly I was in a really good headspace and just went in to the set, sat next to one of them and started chatting them up. Nothing special, just a normal chat about who they wait for, what are their plans etc. They said they are waiting for some friends, and I asked who they were, and if they were their boyfriends or something. The girl besides me said she has a boyfriend, but that her friend is single. I looked at her friend and said something like “Then you should give me your number.” I said it again too fast and almost stumbled on my words. She responded well though, and I handed her my phone and we said we have to go.

  • Again, work on your voice.
  • It’s good when wing men push each other. When I saw him approaching those girls, I didn’t rationalise anything, I just went for it.
  • When I got the girls number I could escalate and give her a hug, then maybe even go for a kiss.

Don’t forget the name of your target! Second #-close

We went into a club with a LOT of hotties, which probably affected my mindset. We came in, scanned the room, and opened a sitting three set of two HB7,5 and HB5. I asked if the seat was taken, they said no, and so I sat and introduced myself. In the beginning the were pretty responsive because it looked like I knew what I was doing and had good open body language. When I was getting to know their names I also held their hands a little longer and repeated their name, which is a good strategy. I started talking to HB7,5 which sat opposite of me. The club was pretty loud, so without saying anything I just stood up and sat next to her. I liked this girl; she actually asked me questions too and seemed genuinely interested. We still were talking about the basic stuff, but I think what helped me there was my body language and voice. This time I was more calm. After a few minutes a friend of hers comes and takes my target outside. I tried then talking to the first HB7,5, which now sat opposite of me. The music was loud, so I sat again besides her (bad move?), but the conversation dies very quickly. I just kept asking basic chode questions and couldn’t come up with something more interesting to say. This was especially cringe worthy: Me: “What do you do?” HB: “I’m a hairdresser.” Me: “So it’s like, your, it’s, you are professional hairdresser.” (something like this) HB: “Yeah.” From there I wanted to eject, and my wing and me got the hell out of there. When we were outside I saw my original target (HB7,5) who was talking with a girl. I came to them, asked her friend “Hey, can I steal her for two seconds?” Then the convo with the target went something like this: Me: “I have to go now but I have to get your number.” HB: “Why?” (or something like that, but she was smiling) Me: “So we can meet up sometime.” I then take out the phone give her the phone. When she gives me the phone back I ask: Me: “What was your name again?” HB: (Smiling but looking kind of “offended”. Like “no u didn’t”) Then I said something like, I’m sorry I have a bad memory blabla, but I wasn’t being chody either. When I tried to save myself I also had my both hands on her waist. She denied giving me her name at first, but I said that I could not save her number without her name. She then sais “You can give me your number, and we’ll see how things will go.” which I do, and ask for the name again and she tells me. I then give her a hug, and off we go. After a few other approaches, I got another #-close, but I forgot HB6’s name and just deleted the number afterwards. (bad, bad, bad). The last few hours of the night were pretty bad, I couldn’t get out of my head and just walked around. This has probably something to do with me being sober out for the first time. I just couldn’t bring myself to dance and let go. The more I walked around the worse it got.

Here are the things that I learned from tonight’s approaches:

  • Never forget the name of your target!
  • Talk slowly and calmly, don’t be too eager.
  • Have open dominating body language.
  • Set the sexual frame from the open.
  • If she gives you her number, try escalating to the hug, then cheek kiss, then go for the lips.
  • Don’t think, act!

I would love to hear feedback from you guys, both when it comes to the way I wrote the FR and my game; what could I do better?