Let me start off by saying that I'm not technically a newbie, I've been lurking for a while now and have been working on improving myself and meeting women since then. However, this is my first post here. I first found this subreddit when my older brother linked it to me approximately 2 years ago (he started reading all kinds of relationship, dating and self-improvement advice from reddit and other places several years ago and just recently got married!). I only really started reading content seriously about 1.5 yrs ago and only for about 3 months while I was in school. It actually helped a lot. I got a few numbers and ended up dating two girls (this all happened in my senior year). One of the girls I only went out on two dates with, because I honestly did not know what the hell I was doing. The other girl I dated for a couple of months, but I didn't know how to escalate (still don't really know how to escalate). By the time she finally invited me over to "hang out" which I now realize was her telling me to come over and bang her, I had lost interest. As embarrassing as this is, those are the first girls I've dated in my life. I was 22-23 at the time. I am now 24. After graduating I took a hiatus from seddit because I needed to work on applying to grad schools and I thought that I was hot shit and didn't need help anymore. I'm still a virgin (had opportunities but never took advantage of them) and that was a fucking stupid mindset for a virgin to be in. I hit the club scene last year and still haven't had any number closes just FB friends so you could say that I have been humbled. The only action I've gotten is a kiss from a HB9 one random drunken night about a year ago at a dance club. She initiated everything, she was pretty drunk and threw herself at me (her HB rating is an estimation because I didn't even notice her before she opened me). Quite literally just about tackled me as I was leaving with my friends. Why? I don't really know but I'm guessing its because I was with a HB6 and HB8 in our group, I was dressed fairly well and on the dance floor I wasn't really giving a fuck what anybody thought because I just wanted to have fun. I kissed her but wasn't really feeling it and she could tell. Just as I was about to really go for it though she slips out of my arms and runs off leaving me standing there with her friend and one of my buddies. I gaze in the direction she ran, look at her friend who says, "she really likes you," think to myself, "fuck this I was about to leave anyways" and go home. A year later and I'm still kicking myself over not going after her. Any feedback/constructive criticism is welcome about this. I have some ideas of my own but would value other perspectives.

Now to the real field report. Last night an old friend of mine was visiting home for the weekend, she lives in a different state now. I had gotten her number through FB a couple nights ago, which I had lost when I got a new phone and made plans to go out clubbing with some of our old friends from high school. I was texting her throughout the day, mostly logistics, and she comes over with a friend to pre game. I was honestly in a pretty low-energy state and ended up getting AMOG'd by my friend who has been an avid reader of this subreddit for the past 4 years or so. I didn't do much to engage the girl I wanted, but I could tell she was there to really only see me and that she knows that I have feelings for her. Btw this is the same HB8 from last year that I talked about earlier in my post. The night progresses and we make it to the club, I show up about 45mins after because the second taxi never shows up to pick us up (I called and vented some of my frustration on the taxi company's customer service guy, felt bad because I work in customer service but also felt great not to be such a "nice guy"). Here's where things start to go to shit a little. The line at the club is ridic long, my friends who went in the first taxi (including the 3 girls and a couple people we were meeting there) are at the back gate and tell me they will open the gate to sneak me and the two friends I was with in. I tell them no because a bouncer is standing not 5 feet away smoking while facing us. I glare over at them without saying anything then walk off towards the front to pay to jump the line. I must have looked angry (not on purpose) because when I get inside 3 of the girls including HB8 had left to find me because they thought I was pissed off and went to the other venue we were going to. Now I have to go to the other venue, leaving my other friends at the dance club we went to first, and pay more money to get in. Everything seems fine now. I meet up with the girls, I'm alone with them now, and we start talking. Now it turns out they were meeting two more guys at this venue, both of whom I know from the past and have been on friendly terms with. I go buy a drink, the girls talk for a bit then come find me and say they want to find the two dudes. I say ok. I wasn't too worried about it because I still wasn't sure how I felt about HB8. The two dudes and the girls talk for a little while then I talk with them for a little while and catch up. We hit the dancefloor while waiting for the headliner to start, I dance around a little trying to loosen up. It's way too packed though. The girls seem to lose interest in the two dudes and we end up leaving them then moving to a different part of the dance floor. Now things start to get more interesting. One of the girls (not HB8) starts kind of freaking out about the lack of personal space and leaves the dance floor. I go after her (nice guy move here?) to comfort her and leave HB8 with her other friend. We talk and I get to know some things about her I didn’t know before, like that she’s recently mellowed out a lot and doesn’t party all the time any more. She quit smoking cigs and probably weed too since she’s living at home. I find that intruiging because it means shes matured a little bit. She offers to buy me a drink, so we go to the bar and order our drinks. A couple of pretty attractive girls come up on my right to buy some drinks. I can’t help but notice one of them is wearing a really revealing dress. The girl I’m with (I guess we can call her HB7) immediately leans over and tells the girl I was ogling that she loves her dress. Was she threatened because I was eyeing the other girl, or was she trying to open the other girl so I could start a convo with her? A little later on we’re still standing at the bar when out of the blue she says her hair smells really good. She then asks me to smell her hair bringing me in very close to her personal space as I do so. Smells great, like girly shampoo. After this happens she asks if I want to go outside and smoke, but we both don’t smoke so really she just wanted to keep talking. On our way outside she puts her hand on my upper back as I am walking in front of her, leading the way. We go outside and talk, its super crowded here too but a little quieter. I think I mess up here by keeping the conversation mundane. I think I should have tried to escalate, but again I don’t really know how. Maybe asking her if she’s single now (I heard her say earlier though that she broke up with her bf about a month ago) or looking her in the eyes and telling her she looks really cute tonight then going for the kiss? We talk for a little longer then she wants to go back inside to find the other girls, she leads this time (possibly frustrated because I didn’t make a move?). When we find the other girls they are being hit on by other dudes trying to come dance with them. HB6, the third girl we went there with, comes over to me aggressively and starts talking to me flirting and rubbing/bumping her tits on me a little. I talk with her for a little bit then ask her for her number because she lives in my general area. HB8 is watching me during this whole time. I glance over at her and catch her expression, she looks hurt. I feel like a little bit of an asshole now but I know I got HB6’s number only because I wanted her to stop hitting on me in front of HB8. Maybe I should have just outright but politely rejected HB6? I could have just gone over to HB8 and started dancing on her. HB8 was getting a fair amount of attention from guys on the dance floor, but was pretty much rejecting them all. One guy came up on my left staring at HB8 and hovers for a little bit. I look over at him and ask “How’s it going man?” he doesn’t answer looks kind of awkward/creepy. I think I say something along the lines of “If you want to dance with her go for it man,” instead he leaves. I don’t know if HB8 heard me. This whole time I’m just grooving to the music by myself. Now things are somewhat complicated. I have 3 girls who may be into me or are at least showing interest. I can’t decide if I want HB8 enough to alpha up and go start dancing on her in front of the other two. She lives in a different state and I would only be able to see her a few times a year. I don’t make my move. The night gets hazy here, keep in mind I’ve had about 7-8 drinks by this point so I’m drunk. I think we go back over to the bar area and HB7 and I start talking again. The two dudes from earlier on show up again and start talking to HB8 and HB6 while I am talking to HB7. I move back over closer to the bar with HB7, then one of the guys comes over and says that HB8 was looking for me and wants to talk to me. I go over and talk to her and let her know that HB7 and I were going to go outside again. HB8 says we should wait for HB6 to come back from the bathroom then all go together. I think HB7 and I go outside together while HB8 and HB6 stay and talk to the two dudes. This all could have been before we all were on the dance floor together when HB6 starts hitting on me. I can’t remember the timeline exactly. Point is though that nothing really happens. I don’t make a strong move on either HB8 or HB7 and we end up leaving early at 1:30 ish. The girls want to get a taxi back and ask me to get the key from my friend at the other club. I tell them the girls want to go back home and that I will go inside and meet them. They end up saying fuck it lets all just go home. So I run back over and hop into the taxi with the girls after having to run my drunk ass back over to my friend to grab the key. We go back and chill. I’m drunk and trying to converse with the girls and I don’t remember what I said. They tease me about not being able to read my emotions because I damn near always have a poker face on and a flat sounding tone (something I’ve been working on). I suck at group convos btw which is another thing that I have been working on. HB6 and HB8 leave after the others show up. I say goodbye to her and she asks for a hug. I hug the crap out of her, nice strong hug but not too long. Tell her it was good to see her again and that was that. They leave, presumably to meet up with the two dudes that showed up at the club to meet them. They could have just gone home but somehow I doubt that. I’m pissed at myself at this point for being a pussy, and not knowing what I want. The night winds down and people go to bed. I chill on the couch with HB7 and my other friend who I haven’t mentioned yet (he’s pretty much a man whore so I know why he’s still awake and hanging with us) is on the other couch. We end up going to bed but before we pass out HB7 steals the other couch from my friend because it is the nicer couch to sleep on and maybe because she didn’t want to cuddle with me on my couch. After this happens I say hey HB7 what would you do if I just ran over and jumped onto that couch with you? She says “I’d be really surprised” then “I’d probably kick you off.” I see she has a slight smile on her face though. So I ponder that while my friend asks the same thing she replies “Don’t try it I’ll kick you off too.” I sit there for about 15 mins no joke trying to muster up the balls to see what will happen if I try it. I get up, walk over and shake HB7’s shoulder to wake her up. I ask her to scoot over because I’m fucking cold. She does this weird thing where she puts both of her hands up to her head with her fingers in the shape of an L but she does it to cover her eyes like the light is way too bright and I’m thinking “wtf is she trying to tell me she thinks I’m a loser?” That wasn’t a natural hand gesture at all. Then she tells me to sleep on the other couch and throws a pillow over on it. I tell her again to scoot over but she says “no, I’m tired” and to go sleep over there. So I do. My friend then asks her if she wants to go into the other room with him and sleep there. She says, “no!” When he leaves I’m on the couch by myself and she tells me to “just relax.” I mutter, “whatever, it probably came out wrong anyways” We go to bed and she takes off in the morning. I know this was probably an awkward move and it creeped her out but after the initial rejection wore off I actually felt good about doing it. I’ve had nice guy syndrome my whole life and for me to break out of my shell for that moment felt fucking good.

If you’ve read this whole thing then props to you my friend cause this is a freaking book of a post. If you have any suggestions as to how I could have handled the night better lay it on me. I’m fucking done with not getting what I want in my personal and professional life. My experiences so far and finally making a move on a girl, even if its an old friend from school, have been a much-needed reality check. I have a lot of work to do on myself and I’m reaching that point of realizing that I know nothing about women and probably about life too. I need to learn what to do and I need to put 100% effort into it for the first time in my life. How can I make myself into a better man?

TL;DR Got a few girls to go clubbing with me. Messed up by not making a decision on which girl I wanted and making a strong move on that girl at the right time. Made an ill-conceived move later on in the night, got rejected.